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What is trust?

Maou

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YES, you heard it from this 6 first... but seriously. What is trust?

I am a person who gambles on certainties, so it is difficult for me to trust "uncertainties". Whatever they may be. I have a difficult time understanding people, and especially authority. Please enlighten me.
 

Vendrah

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YES, you heard it from this 6 first... but seriously. What is trust?

I am a person who gambles on certainties, so ot is difficult for me to trust "uncertainties". Whatever they may be. I have a difficult time understanding peoppe, and especially authority. Please enlighten me.

Stick to your words and promises and dont tell lies and there you have it: Trust. Ok, its more than that but that already explains a lot.

Trust is about you knowing that other people will stick to their promises.
Trust is about you know that other people wont tell you lies or induce you in believing in lies.
Trust is you know that you wont be back-stabbed by someone planning to do that on advance.
 

Maou

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Stick to your words and promises and dont tell lies and there you have it: Trust. Ok, its more than that but that already explains a lot.

Trust is about you knowing that other people will stick to their promises.
Trust is about you know that other people wont tell you lies or induce you in believing in lies.
Trust is you know that you wont be back-stabbed by someone planning to do that on advance.

See, this just sounds like reliability to me. Trust to me feels like gambling on multiple people's worth. While it might seem outrageous to others, the thought rarely crosses my mind in terms of gambling, and behaviors Interesting.
 

Pionart

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See, this just sounds like reliability to me. Trust to me feels like gambling on multiple people's worth. While it might seem outrageous to others, the thought rarely crosses my mind in terms of gambling, and behaviors Interesting.

Lack of reliability would be... someone made a promise intending to keep it, but ended up forgetting about it and thus not fulfilling it.

Lack of trust would be someone made a promise but never intended to keep it in the first place.

Trust is about whether you think someone is out for your best interests. A person who can't be trusted will screw you over for their own benefit. A person who is unreliable won't be there when you need them even though they may want to.
 

Vendrah

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See, this just sounds like reliability to me. Trust to me feels like gambling on multiple people's worth. While it might seem outrageous to others, the thought rarely crosses my mind in terms of gambling, and behaviors Interesting.

And just complementing what [MENTION=22833]Legion[/MENTION] said, it applies for one people but also for an entire country as well.
 

Schrödinger's Name

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This is what the (online) dictionary says:
"1a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something
b: one in which confidence is placed"


Though social relationships are/can be more complicated of course. I'd say I can trust someone when their behavior is predictable (to a certain extent) and their willingness to explain and communicate. People can('t) be trustworthy when it comes to certain areas. I wouldn't say it's black or white.
There's a friend I'd par example trust with personal information, but I know I can't 'trust' her when it comes to lending her any money because I know I won't see it back anytime soon. Though the predictability factor is also in there; I know I won't see it back anytime soon so I can decide not to lend her any money. But I also know, if I'd discuss this issue with her she would handle it like an adult.
(She's quite an asshole from time to time -luckily it wasn't me who she had to pay off- but despite that still trustworthy imo.)

Trust doesn't mean you need to have a bond with that person. Take your co-workers par example. You can (hopefully) trust them when it comes to them doing their job. You can rely on them when it comes to work related issues etc,... Despite that you may not get along with them on a personal level. Maybe they are backstabbing assholes who are untrustworthy when it comes to keeping personal information to themselves. Maybe you could put it into 'levels'? Trustworthy as a coworker; yes. Trustworthy as a friend; no.
 

The Cat

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YES, you heard it from this 6 first... but seriously. What is trust?

I am a person who gambles on certainties, so it is difficult for me to trust "uncertainties". Whatever they may be. I have a difficult time understanding people, and especially authority. Please enlighten me.

How is it possible for one to "gamble on certainties"? @_@
 

Luminous

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For me, deep trust has a lot to do with knowing someone's intentions toward me are good. So some things that are important in establishing and maintaining that are communication, honesty, reliability, and typically time. ThisName has a good point with how there are different levels. There are people who I would trust with my life (not surprisingly, my parents, but also a few others.) There are people I would trust to take care of people or animals who are dear to me. There are people I would trust my house and belongings with. There are people I trust with my deepest secrets. Largely much of it comes down to whether I feel and am respected by those people. If they understand and respect my needs and/or wants, and I know their intentions are good, trust follows naturally.
 

The Cat

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Trust is fickle.
 

Maou

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I didn't want to respond to this thread, because I made it while drunk as fuck. I realize I have a serious dependency on alcohol. I thought I had dreampt making this thread, and it took some thinking as to why I made it. I was watching a show, and it brought up trust. Somehow something "clicked" about it. I saw for the first time, how I "trust" or I should say, lack of.
[MENTION=30038]The Cat[/MENTION] when I said "gambling on certainties", it accurately resembles my feelings on trust. There is no trust, and whatever I allow people to do for me, in situations that people consider being "trusted in", is actually the opposite. I fully expect to lose whatever I "trust" people with, and I am sometimes surprised when I don't. Hence, the feeling of gamble.

I have zero faith, in both peoples abilities, and trustworthiness apparently. This probably explains why I feel such a divide between myself and others. Who could stand being around someone, who can't even trust them? Then I myself, tend to treat other people as strangers, and keep them at arms length when they try to earn my trust, get closer, or actually like me. It honestly scares me when people get too close, because I have no idea what to do. That part of me is still just a child, because of trauma it never developed. The closer people try get to me, the farther away I want to go. I can't tell if I am afraid of hurting them, or them hurting me. I also cannot differenciate between those who I want to be closer to, and those who I don't want to be close to.

I am beginning to realize the depth of my emotional avoidance, and my alcoholism is evidence of that. I realized that every time I start to feel emotion, I would drown it out and throw my mind into escapism. I run away from the slightest emotional inconveniences, and either be arrogant about myself, or attack others. I also overthink, negative self talk, push myself to be stronger and supress/repress everything in a constant cycle of construction and destruction through avoidant regression. In all honesty, it pisses me off. I piss myself off. I probably have no idea what I mean right now too.

I quit drinking on the 17th, and it has been a rough week. I need to rediscover myself again.
 

ceecee

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Nah, I don't trust anyone. I can find people reliable or principled or ethical and honorable and I think that's plenty.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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I tend to trust that people and animals will behave in the future as they have behaved in the past unless something compelling changes its course.

I don't tend to expect people to trust me without knowing me. It doesn't offend me as much as other people if people don't initially trust me.

At some point there is a leap of faith where trust has to be given as a gift, but most people have had their trust betrayed, so I don't expect the trust of a child which is given as an innocent gift. I'm happy to earn trust and tend to need that same time to see patterns of behavior that won't harm me over time.
 
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Stigmata

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Trust is allowing one's self to be vulnerable without fearing ttb e repercussions for doing so later on. Trust is faith in someone's ability to be nurturing.
 

SD45T-2

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I just know it's a Megadeath song. :shrug:
 

Saturnal Snowqueen

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So many things go into trust for me personally. Trust doesn't always have to be something that's built over time, it can happen at first meeting. If I meet someone and if they're laid back and friendly and I just get good vibes from them, I'll trust them. Maybe not tell them everything, but like being able to go and ask for a favor without feeling like I'm intruding on them.

Trust can also just be a personal thing and not an indication of someone's character. If I don't trust you during a trust fall, it's not because of you personally, it's because I don't want to die. I can be best friends with someone for 10 years and still have trouble confiding in them about certain things because I'm a little paranoid like that. I worry about being vulnerable and my deepest thoughts going around and really negative reactions. They can be perfectly nice and have shown they are generally trustworthy in other scenarios, but there's just always those thoughts in the back of my head. If I tell a therapist something, will he go around and spill the beans(even though they're not supposed to)? If I tell my family my darkest thoughts and secrets, will they shun me?

I think a lot of the time, trust is just an inherent optimism. I can be in a good mood and accept things as they come, or I can be a bad mood and just get really suspicious and nitpicky. If everything about a situation looks normal and chill, then I have no (logical) reason to distrust it.

I think being able to relate to someone personally makes me able to trust them way easier. If I know they've gone through a similar experience to me or are having the same thoughts and feelings as me, I feel way more at ease opening up about things because there's that sense of mutual understanding and everything just flows easier.
 

Mind Maverick

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@The Cat when I said "gambling on certainties", it accurately resembles my feelings on trust. There is no trust, and whatever I allow people to do for me, in situations that people consider being "trusted in", is actually the opposite. I fully expect to lose whatever I "trust" people with, and I am sometimes surprised when I don't. Hence, the feeling of gamble.
I think one thing people commonly do is conflate trust with the willingness to take risks with our vulnerability. When we go out on a limb or take a leap of faith, this is not giving trust; it's giving vulnerability without fully trusting that it's safe to do so. If we truly trusted there would be no perception of the act entailing risk. Trust is a sense of assuredness, confidence, firm belief. If you have to take a leap of faith to trust someone, you don't actually trust them...you just want to and you hope that you will be safe despite your risky vulnerability (or you take the risk for some other reason). In short: if you have fear or doubt, you do not have trust.
 

Mind Maverick

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In short: if you have fear or doubt, you do not have trust.
...or you don't have trust at that moment/in that particular area. There are different levels of trust. Statement was too black and white.
 
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