mental illness is _______

[prplchknz]

this is a place to be honest about what mental illness is to you. I'll start

mental illness is isolating

 

[violetsunrise]

a red flag

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

The official definitions focus on mental and/or behavioral patterns that cause distress and difficulty in functioning.

It is difficult to figure out a definition that is broad and accurate. For my experiences I would say it involves those patterns or moments when our perspective can no longer recalibrate to the external world using reason or empathy. When the internal distortion becomes so powerful that there is no way to adjust or change it based on new or external information that comes into conflict with it.

 

[prplchknz]

The official definitions focus on mental and/or behavioral patterns that cause distress and difficulty in functioning.

It is difficult to figure out a definition that is broad and accurate. For my experiences I would say it involves those patterns or moments when our perspective can no longer recalibrate to the external world using reason or empathy. When the internal distortion becomes so powerful that there is no way to adjust or change it based on new or external information that comes into conflict with it.

yeah it is what it is to you, not necerely what it is to everyone else

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

A state of high alert. Even when things are running their smoothest, the watch dogs are always on duty, sniffing for any signs of danger. It's draining, suffocating, a broken record. A mother nagging at you to perform perfectly and belittling everything you do or say. It's a bunch of shouting voices all talking over each other while you're being drowned out. None of the voices ever win per se, you just sit in the corner while they ramble on and on. Eventually they get bored and run off for a bit, but then they come back for more.

 

[The Cat]

A path we must walk; a weight we must carry, the fault in our stars...

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Something that...despite it being difficult to live with, has made me a better person in character than I would have otherwise been.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

FWIW I was attempting a broad definition and not saying that mentally ill people do not have empathy. My mother was/is mentally ill and has a great deal of empathy. The two external markers of reality I understand as reason and empathy. Being able to view oneself from a different vantage point, either being the objective process of reasoning, or the subjective experiential process of empathy, enables us to see when we become internally distorted away from reality. It enables a way to recalibrate and moderate internal constructs of the world that have spiraled into the extreme. There are types of mental illness along the lines of anti-social personality disorders that can reference reason but not empathy. There are other types of disorders involving paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations that could access empathy but may have trouble accessing logic or rationality, at least in the moments of their strongest manifestations.

This is to varying degrees because even John Nash who had severe paranoid schizophrenia, applied reason to his delusions and was able to lessen their force. He described it as a "diet of the mind". It is never a black-and-white, all or nothing scenario because most humans resist recalibrating their inner distortions when confronted with reason or empathy.

In my personal definition and my own life, I reference my mother who was/is one of the kindest people I know, and I feel I am similar to her personality in a number of ways. She did have a powerfully internal sense of reality in which what she felt defined what existed, so if she felt fear, then it meant someone actually was a literal threat. She didn't have a way to recalibrate her emotions to fit with reality. To the extent that she could not reconsider or moderate those internal distortions, but instead they spiraled out of control, is the extent to which I see her mental illness taking over her life. In the moments of her greatest expressions of paranoia, she would become unreachable and incapable of processing emotion outside herself in those extreme moments.

 

[Mind Maverick]

mental illness is isolating

It is alienating, but there is also comfort in talking with others who can either relate or understand without relating. While we still will endure some opposition, we don't have to be alone if we can focus on the right people.

 

[Schrödinger's Name]

I love the mentally ill community. I don't see red flags, I see people who are strong for living with such struggles that basically no one understands. It's like having people throw rocks at you for having a broken leg. The broken leg is bad enough, but here comes everyone making it harder. Usually, those with mental illness also have more empathy and understanding of various things in general than the majority as well, IME. They don't demonize people for suffering like the rest of the world tends to.

Meh, I am all about positivity and awareness about mental illness but that's just not completely true. Okay, you say 'usually', but how are you sure of that? I mean, I always had this 'ideal' that someone who's gay (and mentally ill) would have such great understanding. That they are naturally more open-minded but I've seen the other side too. You can't generalize people like that (you = people in general, not you personally lol). They are in fact, just people with their own personality, neurotypical or not. That they are gay, or mentally ill could affect them in a positive way, but that doesn't always have to be the case. I even think that this could be their 'blind side' from time to time, because they know they are gay/mentally ill, they automatically believe that they are more open-minded and empathic (then again what's being 'open minded' these days..). Which causes them to actually stop improving themselves. (Again, this doesn't always have to be the case.)

Then again, someone who is mentally ill, and who has a lot of self insight... They may think that they are more empathic -than the general population-. I think that they indeed may have more understanding of things in general, but usually -not always- of things that relate to their own feelings/experiences.
Then there's another point. You have being empathic, that's one thing. But giving advice takes things to a whole other level... And this is not only related to people who have a mental illness, but in general, I see people giving 'advice' based on the things they have gone through or what they would do. And that's just the worst thing ever. It shows that -not only people who have a mental illness- look at situations through their own frame of reference. Looking through your frame of reference is not necessarily bad, but acting on it is not always the best thing to do. As for why it's not always 'better' to have had 'similar' experiences. I have seen interactions between people, where one person believes that they are being understanding, and giving 'great' advice... The 'advice', it was the worst thing ever. (But okay, kinda going off topic here since this doesn't only apply to people who have a mental illness. Just showing that even though one thinks they may be understanding, that it doesn't have to be the case.)

Some mentally ill people have a lack of self awareness and insight, just like a neurotypical person could be like this. And especially when someone is mentally ill I could understand how someone else could perceive that as a red flag, or that they just don't want that in a relationship. Being mentally ill is hard, but it would be hypocritical to deny that that may also take a toll on the person who's in a relationship with someone who is mentally ill. (Depending on how much 'control' the person with the mental illness has over their issues. -Then again, communication is key. Even neurotypicals have a hard time communicating over their issues. I could imagine that someone who's been through stuff, they have learnt how to communicate with others because they worked at it... Or they can be the complete opposite and don't know how to communicate at all.)

I sure do agree that people who are mentally ill, even the 'bad' ones who have problems like verbal/physical aggression par example deserve a chance. If you want them to grow, they should have the option and the ability to. They can't do that if everyone hates them or runs away as someone knows about their problems. But, not everyone is able to handle such things. Just like some people aren't able to 'handle' someone who has an emotional breakdown at least thrice a week. There's nothing wrong with that either imo. People have their limits. (Just like some people wouldn't date someone who's in a wheelchair... Discrimination? Maybe. But that's kinda off-topic, maybe...) And from what I have seen, there's sometimes a lack of understanding for that too, from people who are mentally ill because 'we are living the illness, it's harder for us!'. Yes sure, but it's hard for other people too. And saying that doesn't mean that the problems of someone who is mentally ill are invalid, or that they are 'bad', it's just that it does affect people. I don't completely understand why people always take offense in that statement. Almost everything you do affects others. For sure in a relationship. Some people can't bring it up to be understanding, or they do understand but can't handle it.

To speak on my own behalf; I would be fine with someone who is mentally ill. I even had/have a 'preference' for people who are mentally ill because of the things you stated. I love people who have been through shit. (I always feel as if it's weird to say that, since it may sound as if I am romanticizing mental illness. And I am generalizing a group of people. Maybe I am in some way, maybe I am just 'comforted' by the darkness in somebody else.) And I am also able to handle it on an emotional level, since I am generally not that easily affected by people's moodswings, their temperament or whatever and I can 'stand my ground'. But I can imagine that some people are not able to handle this, or that they have had bad experiences with mentally ill people. And so I can understand that it becomes a red flag to them.

I am in a writing mood I am sorry.

I also wanted to say I wonder why I am writing this much but... I know why.

It's the ADHD.

Kinda going off-topic... I think it's an interesting subject tho. Last week during my oral exam my teacher told me that I already had more understanding about X subject than most other people of my age because I am par example, gay. And for some reason it always, still, surprises me when people say such things. Probably because it's normal for, I am used to being like this. So maybe I am also not the one who's able to say if people with a mental illness are indeed, more understanding... because I don't know how understanding the 'general population' is.

(Maybe all the neurotypicals I've met just all happened to be dumbfucks, no..? There's got to be an explanation.)

Anyway... I think there was a point when I started to write this post. It's only that the point kinda got lost along the way and turned into a comma instead,...

I think I am just kinda done with 'defending' things. From both sides. Mental illness isn't always romantic, it's not always evil either. It can be great in a relationship and people can grow together. But sometimes things go downwards too, pretty badly. And sometimes the person with the mental illness does harm (intentionally or not). There just seems to be this tendency lately, to always defend the person who has a mental illness. I don't like both sides.

Anyway... To respond to the OP. Mental illness is a way of life. Sometimes you can make rosewater ice cream out of it. On other days you must swallow the thorns.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Meh, I am all about positivity and awareness about mental illness but that's just not completely true. Okay, you say 'usually', but how are you sure of that? I mean, I always had this 'ideal' that someone who's gay (and mentally ill) would have such great understanding. That they are naturally more open-minded but I've seen the other side too. You can't generalize people like that (you = people in general, not you personally lol).

@This Name Yeah, I deleted it for a reason. :/ I thought about it more afterward. However, I did say IME, In My Experiences, and that is still true. I personally have still met more people in the mental health community that are understanding/compassionate. That isn't to say that all are, obviously, as reduced empathy is actually a symptom of many illnesses (and as you already know, I have a mentally ill / psychopathic father who is obviously not included in this, so I was definitely not saying all are), but in my personal experiences I have found that since they know what it's like to be alienated for illness or other similar issues, they are less alienating; they know what it's like to be judged for invisible illness, and they are therefore less judgmental; they are dealing with similar things themselves, and therefore they are more understanding. Things of that nature. Based on my own experiences it's just harder to find people who will even listen unless they've been through similar shit themselves.

Will reply to the rest in a bit.

 

[Luminous]

Mental illness is excruciatingly painful.

Mental illness is controlling.

Mental illness is frightening.

Mental illness is a tornado.

Mental illness is rejection, isolation, loneliness.

Mental illness feels like safety. Can feel necessary.

Mental illness is shackles and a cage. Wings clipped, mouth taped shut, weights tied to your ankles.

Mental illness is pushing the boulder up the hill over and over.

 

[rav3n]

From someone who grew up with two people who split, splitting behavior can be the most difficult to handle when you're the target of their splitting.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Mental illness is a tornado.

I always related mine more to tsunamis and floods. That's because water is commonly symbolic of emotion. I have frequently dreamt of floods since I was a child and dream dictionaries can be surprisingly on point, suggesting that it's even symbolic of emotion in the unconscious.
"To dream that water is rising up in your house suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions."
"To dream that your house is flooded suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions."
"If the flood is raging, then it represents emotional issues and tensions. Your repressed emotions are overwhelming you."

 

[Peter Deadpan]

... the new me??? I can't remember what the old me was like......

 

[Mind Maverick]

Natural.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Misunderstood.

 

[Mind Maverick]

Sometimes enjoyable if you have hypomania / mania ¯\_(ヅ)_/¯

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

Like a kid who was told not to watch a horror movie but did so anyway and got nightmares

(An analogy for my inability to forget negativity I see-could literally be a horror movie, or an insult playing in my head. If I see a news report on TV of something bad happening, I'll imagine it happening to myself.)

 

[Lark]

My personal experience of it is really trauma, the best description of it I ever heard was from a guy doing a The Moth talk and he said that it was like driving a car on ice, it skids out, you realize the barrier on the road is gone and you could plunge to your death, then you gain control only just in time to steer out of the skid, you're alive but you're not alright and that feeling can be repeated up to a dozen, more even, times a day depending on what your triggers are.

It can fade into regular anxiety, even generalized anxiety, which, if you're lucky, like I was, could abate a little over about twelve months into manageable less pronounced anxiety like the sort anyone could experience.