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OCD intrusive "marriage thoughts"

Warrior

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Sep 23, 2017
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462
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INTP
I have figured out that what I have been suffering from is OCD. All my obsessions with the opposite sex and trying to control and predict who I'll marry in the future is OCD. something I think i was diagnosed with, but I'm not sure if this fear was properly addressed. how can i treat OCD, since the main focus in my therapy has been on reducing symptoms through medications every now and then and that isn't working? and the licensed clinical social worker didn't get me to conquer this.
 

Tennessee Jed

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Joined
Jul 24, 2014
Messages
584
MBTI Type
INFP
Just a suggestion: Here are a couple books you might use as a starting point.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder for Dummies. Link: https://www.amazon.com/Obsessive-Co...=1579425510&sprefix=ocd+for+du,aps,126&sr=8-3

Managing OCD with CBT For Dummies. Link: https://www.amazon.com/Managing-OCD...=1579425705&sprefix=ocd+for+du,aps,126&sr=8-4

I haven’t read these particular books myself, but I did read the “Depression for Dummies” book by one of the same authors and it was a good book on the subject for laymen. Lots of good advice for getting a handle on the problem, if you're into self-improvement.
 

Lark

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Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I have figured out that what I have been suffering from is OCD. All my obsessions with the opposite sex and trying to control and predict who I'll marry in the future is OCD. something I think i was diagnosed with, but I'm not sure if this fear was properly addressed. how can i treat OCD, since the main focus in my therapy has been on reducing symptoms through medications every now and then and that isn't working? and the licensed clinical social worker didn't get me to conquer this.

Follow your medical and professional advice.

Also take responsibility, a licensed clinical professional can support you with guidance, maybe regular assessment too, but it is you what will make or break personal change.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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Apr 23, 2007
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14,037
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sp/sx
One little technique I invented for obsessive thoughts is to sit and think of a series of completely unrelated ideas: kite, ballpoint pen, cat litter, coconut tree, yellow, page 47, left shoe, an X, high pitched noises, etc.

It was based on an idea that the same neuropathways get entrenched, so by forcing the electrical impulses all over by brain, it would disrupt those old pathways. It's like intentionally creating ADD to get rid of obsessive thinking. It sometimes does help.
 

Pionart

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Sep 17, 2014
Messages
4,039
MBTI Type
NiFe
One little technique I invented for obsessive thoughts is to sit and think of a series of completely unrelated ideas: kite, ballpoint pen, cat litter, coconut tree, yellow, page 47, left shoe, an X, high pitched noises, etc.

It was based on an idea that the same neuropathways get entrenched, so by forcing the electrical impulses all over by brain, it would disrupt those old pathways. It's like intentionally creating ADD to get rid of obsessive thinking. It sometimes does help.

From what I understand, generating a series of unrelated ideas would be an example of Ne. Obsessiveness is probably related to introverted perception, so it would be activating Ne to reduce the levels of Si.

That rule works in general - that if the inferior/tertiary function is acting up (e.g. using too much of your energy), counteract this by activating the dominant/auxiliary more strongly.

So, for an SP experiencing obsessiveness, things like mindful awareness of the environment, internally simulating sensory information (maybe - that might include Ni as well though?), or engaging in an experiential activity would help.

For a J experiencing obsessiveness - and this works for P types too - the case is different, because it's the dominant or auxiliary which is acting up, and counteracting this with the inferior or tertiary won't be of as much utility. So instead what has to be done is for the introverted perception function to be "set on the right track" - so, for Ni, work on a case which you're making definite progress in rather than contemplating in a loop, or for Si, start getting things done that are there waiting to be done, rather than getting caught up with specific details.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
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From what I understand, generating a series of unrelated ideas would be an example of Ne. Obsessiveness is probably related to introverted perception, so it would be activating Ne to reduce the levels of Si.
Being able to see or create connections between random, unrelated ideas is Ne - not just coming up with them intentionally.
 

Pionart

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Joined
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Messages
4,039
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Being able to see or create connections between random, unrelated ideas is Ne - not just coming up with them intentionally.

I don't know,

But I tried to just now generate a series of unrelated ideas... and I find it very difficult to do. Without intending to, each word seems to be associated with the one before it.

Did you have to focus a lot or practice in order to be able to generate unrelated ideas, or does it come naturally to you?
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
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10,235
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Iᑎᖴᑭ
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952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Also take responsibility, a licensed clinical professional can support you with guidance, maybe regular assessment too, but it is you what will make or break personal change.

I don't see how this is very helpful to someone with OCD. Seriously, it's not easy. It's painful. It's not just a matter of Take responsibility and stop it. People often need help and that is okay. It doesn't mean they're irresponsible.

Warrior, it might help to try to be mindful, this might be helpful:
Mindfulness Exercises (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid

It sounds like you are very anxious about your future, which is pretty normal, I think. It's unknown and scary and some of us like to grab control to make it less scary. But sometimes the more control you try to take, the worse off you are. If you grab the steering wheel and pull it too hard, too fast, you might veer off the road altogether. Try to hold on loosely. Realize that you don't have complete control over the future. And that's okay. You don't have to take it all on at once. You only have to deal with this one moment right now. You only have to take one step at a time on this journey.
 

Lark

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Jun 21, 2009
Messages
29,569
I don't see how this is very helpful to someone with OCD. Seriously, it's not easy. It's painful. It's not just a matter of Take responsibility and stop it. People often need help and that is okay. It doesn't mean they're irresponsible.

Warrior, it might help to try to be mindful, this might be helpful:
Mindfulness Exercises (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid

It sounds like you are very anxious about your future, which is pretty normal, I think. It's unknown and scary and some of us like to grab control to make it less scary. But sometimes the more control you try to take, the worse off you are. If you grab the steering wheel and pull it too hard, too fast, you might veer off the road altogether. Try to hold on loosely. Realize that you don't have complete control over the future. And that's okay. You don't have to take it all on at once. You only have to deal with this one moment right now. You only have to take one step at a time on this journey.

I was addressing this point:

and the licensed clinical social worker didn't get me to conquer this.

I dont think people should abdicate their responsibility for their own health, there is always something they can do and its very important not to have an exaggerated belief in the expertise of others.
 

Warrior

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Sep 23, 2017
Messages
462
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INTP
I don't see how this is very helpful to someone with OCD. Seriously, it's not easy. It's painful. It's not just a matter of Take responsibility and stop it. People often need help and that is okay. It doesn't mean they're irresponsible.

Warrior, it might help to try to be mindful, this might be helpful:
Mindfulness Exercises (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid

It sounds like you are very anxious about your future, which is pretty normal, I think. It's unknown and scary and some of us like to grab control to make it less scary. But sometimes the more control you try to take, the worse off you are. If you grab the steering wheel and pull it too hard, too fast, you might veer off the road altogether. Try to hold on loosely. Realize that you don't have complete control over the future. And that's okay. You don't have to take it all on at once. You only have to deal with this one moment right now. You only have to take one step at a time on this journey.

thanks, Luminous. I am going into DBT soon. and i uploaded that file for further study. I also talked with my counselor and psychiatrist about what my psychiatrist dubbed "riding the wave" in other words, accepting the thoughts for what they were, similar to DBT, and not acting on them but also not trying to fight them. i watched a video on this by a psychologist or social worker and it helped.
 

Luminous

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Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
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sx/sp
thanks, Luminous. I am going into DBT soon. and i uploaded that file for further study. I also talked with my counselor and psychiatrist about what my psychiatrist dubbed "riding the wave" in other words, accepting the thoughts for what they were, similar to DBT, and not acting on them but also not trying to fight them. i watched a video on this by a psychologist or social worker and it helped.

That's good to hear! I hope it keeps helping! Remember not to get discouraged by setbacks here and there. It's a journey. It takes time. And celebrate the achievements in the right direction, even if they're small! :hug:
 
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