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    Last edited by Officer Ed Powell; 11-13-2019 at 02:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Mr. Brightside... The Cat's Avatar
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    I can imagine. Albeit I dont really need to...
    With all due respect,
    The Cat.

    Clarity demands a certain degree of objectivity, from the world as well as the observer...


    I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.
    I am Catstiel. I am an Angel of the Lord...

  3. #3
    Upside-Down Rainbow Maya Dawn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asynartetic View Post
    Being an adult with autism is hard, especially when undiagnosed. Masking is what autistics do on a daily basis to survive social and professional life. Masking means what it sounds like—wearing a mask, pretending to be neurotypical, hiding any quirk or character trait that might get us into hot water at work, in public, or even in our home lives.

    Occasionally I’ve seen a neurotypical say “that doesn’t sound so bad. We all have to wear masks and behave to make it in this world.” Of course that’s true, but it’s classic dismissive ableism that fails to acknowledge the strain that masking puts on autistics. Yes we all have to behave and wear masks, but imagine doing it with the added strain of having poor empathy and poor understanding of unspoken social cues, as well as a tendency to take others’ words quite literally. Or, here’s a good analogy: suppose neurotypical people experience life as if they are playing the survival horror game Alien Isolation on Medium difficultly. It’s goddamn hard, but the player has some basic tools that if used properly will ensure their success and survival. The player can still fail, but the point is they possess some basic tools. Now imagine playing the same game on nightmare diffulty mode. Many of the tools that guarantee success for medium/neurotypical mode are either unavailable or severely limited—broken motion tracker, less ammunition, health depletes faster, and heightened AI for all NPCs. That’s how much harder it is masking as an autistic.The same tools that neurotypical adults take for granted are severely impaired but we’re still expected to perform as neurotypicals do in the same or similar situations.

    The other day I nearly replied to a thread where we have to say what we like about the above poster’s avatar and I was simply going to be honest and say there was nothing about it that appealed to me. My intention wasn't to be mean or make the poster above me feel diminished or shitty, it was just honesty. I held back because experience has told me that honesty rarely goes over well when it isn’t paired with praise or flattery. Many people say they value honesty and sometimes autistics take that to heart, missing the unspoken rule about not saying something if we have nothing nice to say.
    Yeah, I get that too (my siblings and I are Aspie triplets). Especially in the workplace, the last thing I need is to show any signs that I'm not socially "normal" (i.e. rambling on about random stuff, laughing or smiling too much for no damn reason, talking to myself, walking "funny", not catching on to social cues when I'm talking and someone is uncomfortable with what I'm saying, having a meltdown, etc.). It can be... exhausting.

    Can't even imagine how it must be for them as well to have to mask themselves in public (though our sister is better at hiding it since her social skills are the highest among us three). Back in our middle to high school years, it was much tougher and people just knew. All three of us had our fair share of bullying in those days, partly because of how prominently our Aspie traits stood out.

    Anyway... it's nice to have a safe space to let out all my quirks, which is why I feel a great deal more comfort at home or around friends now.
    “The world breaks everyone, then some become strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway

    Johari: https://kevan.org/johari?name=~MS*ANGEL~
    Nohari: https://kevan.org/nohari?name=~MS*ANGEL~

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    "And then, raising my lids slowly and looking out from underneath my lashes, i captured him with my eyes"
    Likes Officer Ed Powell liked this post

  4. #4
    Primal evil Sung Jin-Woo's Avatar
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    Idk if I am autistic, but I def score low in empathy, high in honesty, and I suck at social cues.

    Asynartetic, I never seen you as "special" or quirky. You always came of as a reasonable guy to me. This would not change my opinions about you.

    I don't however, agree with some of the approaches to the situation due to my understanding how society functions. It is not kind to those who stand out. I think visibility harms as much as it helps a lot of the time. Society is unforgiving. I think its better to learn how to mask, and have healthy coping mechanisms for the stress. Than educating people. Because the sheer amount of differences makes it virtually impossible to educate people, unless its literally in your immediate family. Such its hard, and it sucks. I don't think its right to paint it all as suffering though. I don't think its fair to blame society for hardships either. Maybe you are not specifically saying this, but its how I interpreted some of it.
    “An intellectual says a simple thing in a hard way. An artist says a hard thing in a simple way.”
    Charles Bukowski

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    Upside-Down Rainbow Maya Dawn's Avatar
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    @asynartetic

    Hmm, makes sense - I've been scolded often for being selfish/self-centered whenever I'm too comfortable in my own bubble to see other people's concerns. I have to remind myself that there's a whole world that works outside this bubble, and it does take some effort for me to see things from the perspective of others... but whenever I do, the empathy gained is rewarding in and of itself.

    I just feel bad that I forget to do this 90% of the time.
    “The world breaks everyone, then some become strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway

    Johari: https://kevan.org/johari?name=~MS*ANGEL~
    Nohari: https://kevan.org/nohari?name=~MS*ANGEL~

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    "And then, raising my lids slowly and looking out from underneath my lashes, i captured him with my eyes"
    Likes Officer Ed Powell liked this post

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    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asynartetic View Post
    There’s also the fact you can’t usually get accommodations without a diagnosis. Simple solution, get a diagnosis, right?

    Assuming insurance covers this. Many providers don’t cover it. Assuming insurance covers it, good luck finding a specialist willing to see an adult. Many refuse adults. Assuming there’s even a specialist in your area.

    On top of this, the diagnosis can be used to deny you custody of your children and to forcibly institutionalize you.

    Yeah I think I’ll stick with remaining undiagnosed
    This happened to my husbands nephew, mom went to jail and his daughter was put in foster care. The fact that they weren't married likely didn't help and the courts are quite backward in regards to fathers custody to begin with. So I generally agree that adults that aren't diagnosed shouldn't be. Until we have a much more humane judicial and health care systems - we have nothing close to that now.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

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    Liberator Coriolis's Avatar
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    Great thread idea. I hope everyone can learn and benefit from it.

    Quote Originally Posted by asynartetic View Post
    [/B]
    The other day I nearly replied to a thread where we have to say what we like about the above poster’s avatar and I was simply going to be honest and say there was nothing about it that appealed to me. My intention wasn't to be mean or make the poster above me feel diminished or shitty, it was just honesty. I held back because experience has told me that honesty rarely goes over well when it isn’t paired with praise or flattery. Many people say they value honesty and sometimes autistics take that to heart, missing the unspoken rule about not saying something if we have nothing nice to say.
    Interesting. I would have refrained from posting in that thread only because a I would consider a comment that doesn't include something I like would seem off-topic. I would save my honest evaluation for a different thread/opportunity.

    Quote Originally Posted by asynartetic View Post
    this video by an autistic woman captures one reason why I don't like to mention my autism to others. The part where she talks about people shifting to speaking in a "baby talk" tone once they find out she is autistic...

    I dread that sort of thing and it's why I keep it to myself.
    Good grief. That would be horrible, but then I don't even speak baby talk to babies.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #8

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    please delete or close thread. I already deleted all of my rants so anything left lacks context. I'll just go back to wrongplanet.

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