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  1. #11
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Does anyone else ever feel this way? Most of the time when I'm engaged and doing stuff, I'm fine but when I'm alone and in my head, I can get this feeling of dread and hopelessness that I can never get all the shit done that I have to, realizing I forgot to do this or that, or worrying about this or that small interaction with someone that didn't go as well as I would have liked. It could have been something as simple as a momentary expression on someone's face. At the same time, I start procrastinating, doing other things (like now) rather than what I need to get done. It makes me want to run away and live in the cabin in the middle of the woods, withdrawing from the rat race.
    Yes, replace ' never get all the shit done that I have to' with 'never convince myself of anything truly worth doing and end up in an insular everything is pointless vortex' and I can relate.

    Until I land on things I DO want to strike out at and accomplish I end up needing to try to find peace in the moment and in the little things in life -- it's my only savior to get myself out of what ends up amounting to a fruitless inner monologue. So, finding enjoyment in books, painting, enjoying a cup of tea, hiking, watching nature.

    But yes -- I have always been at my best DOING things. I don't think humans were really made for being idle. We need a purpose.

    In a sense I withdrew from the 'rat race' a long, long time ago. I could never convince myself it was worth it or worth my life/time; so my way to pay the bills now is what many peers might consider 'beneath me'. Am I capable of more? Oh certainly. But convince me it's worth it / give me an actual reason to be motivated to do it on a deep level. So in some ways I do live in a cabin in the woods alone - though in a literal sense, total isolation would make me have a breakdown / I'd literally go insane. [I guess there's the possibility I'd go insane and then come out of it, a la certain spiritual people, but I digress]
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #12
    Senior Member anticlimatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter Deadpan View Post
    My life is one big "yeah, yeah, I'll get to it..." after another.
    I've found when this happens it's because Im trying to live a delusional projection of who I consciously wish to be, instead of living for who i really am. If every fiber of your being is loathe to accomplish a particular goal, could be you're setting the wrong one.

  3. #13
    Senior Member asynartetic's Avatar
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    Quite often. To the point I feel like imploding.
    Smile, you son of a [BOOM]….YEEEEAAAHHHHHH!

    -M. Brody

  4. #14
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Does anyone else ever feel this way? Most of the time when I'm engaged and doing stuff, I'm fine but when I'm alone and in my head, I can get this feeling of dread and hopelessness that I can never get all the shit done that I have to, realizing I forgot to do this or that, or worrying about this or that small interaction with someone that didn't go as well as I would have liked. It could have been something as simple as a momentary expression on someone's face. At the same time, I start procrastinating, doing other things (like now) rather than what I need to get done. It makes me want to run away and live in the cabin in the middle of the woods, withdrawing from the rat race.
    I think it's an N thing.

    The following is probably going to sound a little whacko, but I have some time on my hands so I'll write out a few of my own theories about how N works.

    As I see it, the "world view" behind N is the view that the world is kind of an oppressive, malevolent place. And that can be a good thing or a bad thing. If you have a lot of energy and are feeling ready to take on the world, then it's a good thing: The world is in need of change, and it's a place where you can invest some energy and make a real difference. But if you're stressed and tired and ground down by opposition and obstacles, then it's a bad thing: The world is a pernicious and evil place, and it'll trip you up when you're not looking.

    In other words, as you become tired and burnt out with obstacles and stress, the thrill of the challenge turns into existential angst and a desire for shelter from the storm.

    Here's how it works for Ne in particular. When Ne's are feeling good and energetic, they enjoy the challenge of a dark and potentially dangerous world and they immerse themselves in it. Ne-Doms are Extraverts, so they're open to just about any challenge or adventure. But if a long-term project or just life itself starts stressing them and grinding them down, that extraverted approach can leave them feeling overextended and burnt out. They can sink into passivity and helplessness, running as fast as they can just trying to keep up with all the demands and commitments they made in better times. And when they finally hit their limit, they can sink into sadomasochism, that is, alternately lashing out and beating up on people and/or falling into martyrdom and fatalism, i.e., just giving up and falling into depression.

    Meantime, here's how it works for Ni in particular. When Ni's are feeling good and energetic, they enjoy the challenges of a contrarian world and see it as a way to hone their own ideas and skills: Iron sharpens iron. Ni's like debate and conflict, and they see conflict as improving both themselves and the world around them. But if a long-term project or just life itself starts stressing them and grinding them down, that approach can leave them feeling overextended and burnt out. They can start to white-knuckle a stubborn obstacle, grinding at it stubbornly or persistently in a control-freak manner. They can fall victim to tunnel-vision and paranoia, their whole world increasingly revolving around some stubborn project that simply won't yield to their efforts. When they finally hit their limit, they may decide that the world is simply too evil or stubborn or stupid to be changed and lash out in flight and asceticism. They may bury themselves away in a forest and live a primitivist existence. Or if that seems too radical, they'll bend to the demands of the world and live a curtailed, limited existence like others, but they'll forever mourn "the one that got away," or "what might have been." Life will turn increasingly sour and angst-y.

    I think this is why TypoC can be such a negative message board sometimes. It's N-heavy (lots of N-Doms and N-Auxes), and when morale is low it can turn into an echo chamber about how screwed up the world is, how bad this or that oppressed group has it, etc. It's that N world view: The world is an oppressive, malevolent place. I participate at other message boards with a better balance of personality types, and those other message boards are noticeably more optimistic in tone than TypoC. TypoC really can be a pretty dark place sometimes.

    What can one do about this N "world view" thing? Personally, as an Ne-Aux, when I get stressed I start to feel like I'm under a cloud, overexposed and vulnerable, kind of waiting for something bad to happen. But when that feeling arrives, I just remind myself that it's just static or white noise generated by stress. For example, I just went through a house move (two days ago--I'm still unpacking), and there were plenty of opportunities during the weeks of preparations leading up to the move for me to feel overwhelmed, paranoid, or freaked out about all the details and all the things that might go wrong. But I just reminded myself that it was my Ne-Aux acting up, sending me lots of negative vibes even when things were going smoothly enough otherwise. And I responded by focusing: I sat down, made a list or two, prioritized the top two or three things that really needed doing NOW, and concentrated on them and them alone. And so on. Basically when I got that "stressed-out Ne" feeling, I used that as a sign that it was time to focus a bit and apply some rationality rather than let indistinct and generalized fears burden me and slow me down.

    So that would be my advice for Ne-related stress: Focus and incrementalism: prioritize the most important things, and do them by the numbers, one step at a time. For Ni-related stress, the opposite may be true. If Ni users are over-focusing and forever tinkering and being control freaks, and the project simply isn't yielding results, then maybe it's time for a paradigm change: If something isn't working, then maybe it's time to cut your losses and move on. Let it go, or at least figure out some new angle on it.

    One other note: Comparing how N vs S operate: S works somewhat similiarly to N, but I would say that S is more about hostility. That is: N sees the world as oppressive and malevolent, whereas S sees the world as hostile. Thus, you get the Se who deals with a hostile world by always taking things to the next level, being competitive, and being the best at everything he undertakes; and you get the Si who deals with a hostile world by being an expert at rules and legalisms and automating everything to the point that they are faultless at things: The Si's are the cops and military of the world who shelter themselves from a chaotic, hostile world by being experts at rules and procedures so that they can't be caught out doing something wrong.

    Anyway, this is all just my opinion. The same subject as the OP ("Anxious and overwhelmed") was on my own mind these last few weeks as a result of the Ne-Aux anxiety I was experiencing occasionally during the move, and so I'm taking a welcome break now that the move is over and dashing out a few thoughts on the subject.
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  6. #16
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    Feeling overwhelmed that you are burdened that many works must be gotten done by yourself only without having to ask someone else for help or without sharing the works with someone else. But instead of getting the works done, you start doing something else.
    If your question is have anybody else ever felt this way?, my answer is : I probably had experience this in the past.

    When I did my research, after my research proposal was accepted, I started by looking for references from the net. I started downloading any references that I could find on the net and visited library and borrowed a lot of books. Even after doing this, I couldn't just finish with studying the literature. it feels that there were always something lacking in my writing, so I need to read more and more references (sometimes I even felt references from other discipline was also relevant , so I added them), whereas I realized that it was only one part of conducting a research. I was supposed to finished doing downloading, borrowing books, and further continue to the next step: searched the data, and analyzed them, and wrote up a report.
    instead of meeting my supervisor, I refused to meet my him. I thought there was no point to meet him, since I was still in the literature study phase. Instead of getting this finished, my friend came and gave me emulator for PS, N64 and started playing which I was not supposed to be doing. I have never owned a Nintendo 64 when it was popular. Using emulator, I thought I have the opportunity to play an old game that I could not do previously. I played an old game"Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" instead of finishing my research.
    I was anxious thinking about I could get out of university without a degree. They could dropped me out, since my time limit of studying was almost up. My parents are worry about me and my future. My mother even told me that if I got out of college without a degree, she could accept it. She seemed to stop expecting that her son successfully graduated. She must have already been desperate telling me that.

    However unlike you that you wish to escape from rat race and go live in the woods, which sounds more like a frustration to me. I did not give up doing my research until I finished it just before my time study limit was over. I was almost dropped out.

    Does it sound like what you are now experiencing?

    I had no clue of why this was happening to me back then when I did not know Jungian typology. Yet this experience may somewhat have contributed to my interest in Typology/Jungian Psychology.

  7. #17
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Does anyone else ever feel this way? Most of the time when I'm engaged and doing stuff, I'm fine but when I'm alone and in my head, I can get this feeling of dread and hopelessness that I can never get all the shit done that I have to, realizing I forgot to do this or that, or worrying about this or that small interaction with someone that didn't go as well as I would have liked. It could have been something as simple as a momentary expression on someone's face. At the same time, I start procrastinating, doing other things (like now) rather than what I need to get done. It makes me want to run away and live in the cabin in the middle of the woods, withdrawing from the rat race.
    I've always had moments of feeling like this but they don't come often anymore. It's due to making career changes, moving and a few other life changes. I still get the procrastination issues but it's less about the particular goal and much more about a single step in the process.

    Forgetting to do things or taking a small interaction or expression from someone the wrong way - I don't beat myself up about things like that anymore. I'm generally more forgiving than I ever use to be to myself and others, as long as they aren't coming from a place of douchebaggery or passive-aggressiveness.

    I don't want to run away and live in solitude. I do a lot of travel and driving, the hours in the car by myself do a good job of getting my mind off the rat race. But I still have a finite amount of socializing and people energy. Ignoring that has always been what causes hopelessness and feeling overwhelmed.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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  8. #18
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    yes, and i end up freezing and doing nothing

  9. #19
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    Honestly, no. Not from having too much to do anyway. The opposite; yeah. I can't stand having nothing to do and no control.

    It's infinitely frustrating that it's the people around me who need to get their shit together. The things they need to do I could have in the blink of an eye. Every one of them however, I think they become overwhelmed just FROM blinking.
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."

  10. #20

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    Unfortunately, I can't remember where I read this from (the article was fairly recently published) but it's suggested that people who feel overwhelmed, anxious and depressed, should take on small tasks one at a time, in order to slowly regain the feeling of control and productivity. Only do what you can even if it's something minor like making your bed and when you add up multiple small tasks, it can end up to be quite a bit.

    Prior to retirement, when feeling stressed from having too much on my plate, I would work out to blow off some stress and do minor peripheral tasks to advance to end goal so I can personally confirm that this does work, at least for me. It's possible that it may work for others.

    Even though I'm an atheist, the Serenity prayer has some comforting wisdom.

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    Living one day at a time;
    enjoying one moment at a time;
    accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
    taking, as He did, this sinful world
    as it is, not as I would have it;
    trusting that He time will make all things right
    if I surrender to His Will;
    that I may be reasonably happy in this life
    and supremely happy with Him
    forever in the next
    .
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