[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] 794 with an unhealthy 9.

[VILLANELLE]

So my Enneagram tritype is 794, I'm 9w8, but... I'm an unhealthy 9. I think. I just have always felt like I'm just going through life and I don't care about anything. When I do care, I just.. I don't know. I just wanted to share that with you all because I remembered. I think I'm a healthy sort of 7w6 and maybe an average/healthy 4w5. Which is fine with me. I browse similarminds.com a lot and that's where I get the healthy/unhealthy stuff from. Sigh.

 

[Virtual ghost]

So my Enneagram tritype is 794, I'm 9w8, but... I'm an unhealthy 9. I think. I just have always felt like I'm just going through life and I don't care about anything. When I do care, I just.. I don't know. I just wanted to share that with you all because I remembered. I think I'm a healthy sort of 7w6 and maybe an average/healthy 4w5. Which is fine with me. I browse similarminds.com a lot and that's where I get the healthy/unhealthy stuff from. Sigh.

So what exactly is bothering you ? However you tritype can be summed as "triple running away", so I can't say that I am surprised.

 

[VILLANELLE]

So what exactly is bothering you ? However you tritype can be summed as "triple running away", so I can't say that I am surprised.

The fact that I guess I run, I don't do anything, I'm not very motivated. I don't know what to do. Mentally, I have the motivation, but physically, actually carrying out said motivations, I don't do it. I'm sick of myself.

 

[Virtual ghost]

The fact that I guess I run, I don't do anything, I'm not very motivated. I don't know what to do. Mentally, I have the motivation, but physically, actually carrying out said motivations, I don't do it. I'm sick of myself.

Are you sure this is the only thing that is bothering you ?

 

[VILLANELLE]

Are you sure this is the only thing that is bothering you ?

I'm not doing anything with my life, and it's at the point that it's bothering me, I don't know how to like.. just.. do things. I'm just frustrated and nobody is listening to me or helping me with anything. It makes me feel stuck.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I'm not doing anything with my life, and it's at the point that it's bothering me, I don't know how to like.. just.. do things. I'm just frustrated and nobody is listening to me or helping me with anything. It makes me feel stuck.

If I can say that is probably more of a Fe issue than 9w8 issue. You will simply have to find people that make your life meaningful, that can be hard to do but that is botom line of your issues. Fe dom without support goes bad pretty quickly in most sitautions. The only real question is how and where will you start to search.

 

[VILLANELLE]

If I can say that is probably more of a Fe issue than 9w8 issue. You will simply have to find people that make your life meaningful, that can be hard to do but that is botom line of your issues. Fe dom without support goes bad pretty quickly in most sitautions. The only real question is how and where will you start to search.

I've slowly begun it already. Frankly I've been at it for a year now. But yeah, I feel like I have nobody's support. It's all, what do you want to do? And... I don't know. I'm not going to do nothing, even though it's very tough for me to stay motivated on my own (it does come in spurts, sometimes, but usually I need a push, and then I decide yes, I need to do something.) But this time, this struggle in my life, IDK what else to call it, it was all my decision.

I don't have any expenses or anything to look after right now, but it's like.. I'm on the edge of a very high diving board, about to jump into the deep end, and I have no life jacket. I have no support around me and I fear I'm making people angry with me.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I've slowly begun it already. Frankly I've been at it for a year now. But yeah, I feel like I have nobody's support. It's all, what do you want to do? And... I don't know. I'm not going to do nothing, even though it's very tough for me to stay motivated on my own (it does come in spurts, sometimes, but usually I need a push, and then I decide yes, I need to do something.) But this time, this struggle in my life, IDK what else to call it, it was all my decision.

I don't have any expenses or anything to look after right now, but it's like.. I'm on the edge of a very high diving board, about to jump into the deep end, and I have no life jacket. I have no support around me and I fear I'm making people angry with me.

Are you you actually making people angry or this is all in your head ? (there is a huge difference)

I am not going to ask you any details because I don't think I should venture in that zone. You would told me that in the case you really want.

 

[VILLANELLE]

Are you you actually making people angry or this is all in your head ? (there is a huge difference)

I am not going to ask you any details because I don't think I should venture in that zone. You would told me that in the case you really want.

It's probably in my head, I fear that I am. I just.. I don't have any answers for anyone. I don't know what I want to do... is wanting a full-time job not enough? I don't want to go to school at all, it's not for me, I have no interest in anything listed, and I don't want to spend money and go broke. I don't want to go and take half a course or whatever, as people suggest to me. I appreciate the suggestion, but it's just not me. I've never seen a future for myself. And I don't say that negatively/morbidly, I just.. I just get through the day/moments. I don't know.

 

[Virtual ghost]

It's probably in my head, I fear that I am. I just.. I don't have any answers for anyone. I don't know what I want to do... is wanting a full-time job not enough? I don't want to go to school at all, it's not for me, I have no interest in anything listed, and I don't want to spend money and go broke. I don't want to go and take half a course or whatever, as people suggest to me. I appreciate the suggestion, but it's just not me. I've never seen a future for myself. And I don't say that negatively/morbidly, I just.. I just get through the day/moments. I don't know.

I presume you are relatively young. I understand you are in low resource game and prefer to keep resouces in order to have back up. In most situations that is actually wise.
However is wanting full time job enough ... only you can answer that question. To me that isn't enough, I want more from life than just average joe type of survival.

 

[VILLANELLE]

I presume you are relatively young. I understand you are in low resource game and prefer to keep resouces in order to have back up. In most situations that is actually wise.
However is wanting full time job enough ... only you can answer that question. To me that isn't enough, I want more from life than just average joe type of survival.

I want more from it too, but I don't know how to get more and I don't know what to do, and if I don't start now I fear I never will. I've got some time, I guess, and as I don't have to put forward for any serious expenses, I've got money on my side, too.

 

[Virtual ghost]

I want more from it too, but I don't know how to get more and I don't know what to do, and if I don't start now I fear I never will. I've got some time, I guess, and as I don't have to put forward for any serious expenses, I've got money on my side, too.

That is true, time is passing by and in general it is harder to start things at older age.

You have no idea in what you are good at ?

 

[VILLANELLE]

That is true, time is passing by and in general it is harder to start things at older age.

You have no idea in what you are good at ?

It sounds stupid when I say it but I've always wanted to act. I might have no shot, but, I just feel that's what I have to do. But I have to deal with life stuff first, like my mental health. Which is easier said than done.

 

[Virtual ghost]

It sounds stupid when I say it but I've always wanted to act. I might have no shot, but, I just feel that's what I have to do. But I have to deal with life stuff first, like my mental health. Which is easier said than done

Why ?

 

[VILLANELLE]

Why ?

What do you mean, WHY? Thanks for the chat but I'm done with this since you're questioning that like everyone else does to me. It's not easy to go and get help, especially mental health help, at all. It's scary and expensive and people can be very ableist.

 

[Virtual ghost]

What do you mean, WHY? Thanks for the chat but I'm done with this since you're questioning that like everyone else does to me. It's not easy to go and get help, especially mental health help, at all. It's scary and expensive and people can be very ableist.

Ok, I will be going then.

 

[VILLANELLE]

Ok, I will be going then.

I apologize for snapping at you, I do appreciate your responses; I know a solution won't appear out of thin air but I'm just tired of this why, why why from people. It's just difficult, that's why, like I said before. Money, insurance, etc. It's a lot.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

[MENTION=29143]Thirteenly[/MENTION] - I don't know your age exactly, but I would say it is better to be where you are now than at that same point in another 10 or 20 years. Trust me; if you wait until then, you will really feel shitty (not that you don't now, but you know what I mean??). I'm there now. I'm 31 and have been GIVING DOGS HAIRCUTS for 11 years. That's basically my entire adult life, and I know that I've never *loved* it, yet I've stayed in it, and now... I'm stuck.

So trust me when I say that I understand you. It is hard when you can't identify multiple interests and when your only passion seems difficult or impossible to achieve. The only things that get me excited are psychology, philosophy, and writing. I don't have a degree, so my chances of succeeding in a combination of those subjects as it is are very slim. I'm really hoping to be able to figure out how to go back to school this year, but I'm a single mom... so...... yeeaaaaah.........

I'm not trying to detract from your situation - more just saying that I understand you.

 

[VILLANELLE]

[MENTION=29143]Thirteenly[/MENTION] - I don't know your age exactly, but I would say it is better to be where you are now than at that same point in another 10 or 20 years. Trust me; if you wait until then, you will really feel shitty (not that you don't now, but you know what I mean??). I'm there now. I'm 31 and have been GIVING DOGS HAIRCUTS for 11 years. That's basically my entire adult life, and I know that I've never *loved* it, yet I've stayed in it, and now... I'm stuck.

So trust me when I say that I understand you. It is hard when you can't identify multiple interests and when your only passion seems difficult or impossible to achieve. The only things that get me excited are psychology, philosophy, and writing. I don't have a degree, so my chances of succeeding in a combination of those subjects as it is are very slim. I'm really hoping to be able to figure out how to go back to school this year, but I'm a single mom... so...... yeeaaaaah.........

I'm not trying to detract from your situation - more just saying that I understand you.

No, no, I get it. I feel you. I appreciate that.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

No, no, I get it. I feel you. I appreciate that.

Usually when I'm upset about something, I mostly just want to be understood instead of people questioning my feelings or telling me what I should do. Hope it gets better for you.