[Type 9] Ask a 9 anything!

[Enygmatic]

I'd be happy to answer any questions and other enneagram 9 types are free to answer them as well.
Let the questions begin!

 

[Frosty]

And add me to the list of type 9 partners in crime.

Bring on the big guns, us 9's can and are used to taking all your crap.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I wanna ask a simple question to the unknown 9 : When could we fight together and have fun ?

I said TOGETHER, not one against another. Subtile différence mes amis...

 

[Enygmatic]

I wanna ask a simple question to the unknown 9 : When could we fight together and have fun ?

I said TOGETHER, not one against another. Subtile différence mes amis...

We can fight right now if you want but the question is what over? Unless you just want to throw insults at each other. Either way I'm peachy (as long as it's not in person otherwise I'll ).

 

[Frosty]

Why do we have to fight you guys? I can see your point of view, and I understand where you are coming from- can't we all just agree to disagree and put this all behind us? Or alternatively, avoidance, avoidance, subtle shifting in tone, withdrawl.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Fight is fun with peachy guys only

So the subject could be : "Hey I heard the enneatype 9 hate french women ! They think we all are some bloody revolutionist."

 

[EJCC]

I have a hard time understanding what being a 9w8 would mean. 9 and 8 seem like polar opposites to me. 9w1 I can kind of relate to, because those two methods of internalizing anger seem more related to one another. Does it have something to do with how you relate to the idea of peace? Are 9w8 folks just angrier in general?

 

[Frosty]

I have a hard time understanding what being a 9w8 would mean. 9 and 8 seem like polar opposites to me. 9w1 I can kind of relate to, because those two methods of internalizing anger seem more related to one another. Does it have something to do with how you relate to the idea of peace? Are 9w8 folks just angrier in general?

Calling all 9w8's...

Um, [MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION], [MENTION=19700]Starcrash[/MENTION]?

These do seem highly contradictory, but I would guess that 9w8's just have an inclination to desire to be more externally present in their environment than 9w1's do. Therefore when they do feel that distance between them caused by 9, in order to potentially be heard if they value the situation highly enough, they revert to the most solid image that they can imagine-8. I don't know though. Hopefully someone comes and helps me out with this.

 

[mcgooglian]

I have a hard time understanding what being a 9w8 would mean. 9 and 8 seem like polar opposites to me. 9w1 I can kind of relate to, because those two methods of internalizing anger seem more related to one another. Does it have something to do with how you relate to the idea of peace? Are 9w8 folks just angrier in general?

Bruce Banner. Enough said.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]

I don't think they're angrier. I just think anger might be expressed differently when 8 is favored over 1. It's hard for me to speak for 9w1s though.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

[MENTION=4945]EJCC[/MENTION]

I don't think they're angrier. I just think anger might be expressed differently when 8 is favored over 1. It's hard for me to speak for 9w1s though.

I see myself as generally laid-back and willing to let others lead and make decisions at least 75% of the time, unless I have a strong opinion or principles to defend, in which case I can be very assertive and forceful in getting my way. In that regard, I can identify more with 8s than 1s. I also feel compelled to take the lead in a group if no one else is willing or if I see that the current leader is failing.

I don't get angry very often (irritated or annoyed, yes, but that's different), but when I do, it's hard to hide. I kind of lose my "filter" and it manifests in my tone of voice, words and physical actions--not necessarily smashing windows (although I have done this as well as smashed mirrors and other objects with my bare hands) but it is very visible in my outward demeanor. Luckily this is a side most people don't see and those who do see it very rarely.

 

[Frosty]

I really just don't get seriously visibly angry...ever. My anger, really more irritation, comes out pretty much naturally in avoidance and withdrawl from that person, but even then generally instead of anger I will just feel a sort of gut dropping disappointment. A kind of momentary disgust and a befuddlement as to why something like that happened, the former actually usually coming back later and making me feel semi-guilty for judging them, feeling like I am arrogantly putting myself above them on a high horse, and not completely understanding why, eventually, once I can understand the reasons for something, can justify them for myself- the anger just sort of lifts from me and a grateful acceptance of furthering my own knowledge base comes into play. I suppose the anger of a 9w8 might be more of an immediate and impulsive thing, while with a 9w1 it may be more likely to stew or even be repressed.

 

[uumlau]

I have a hard time understanding what being a 9w8 would mean. 9 and 8 seem like polar opposites to me. 9w1 I can kind of relate to, because those two methods of internalizing anger seem more related to one another. Does it have something to do with how you relate to the idea of peace? Are 9w8 folks just angrier in general?

Calling all 9w8's...

Um, [MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION], [MENTION=19700]Starcrash[/MENTION]?

These do seem highly contradictory, but I would guess that 9w8's just have an inclination to desire to be more externally present in their environment than 9w1's do. Therefore when they do feel that distance between them caused by 9, in order to potentially be heard if they value the situation highly enough, they revert to the most solid image that they can imagine-8. I don't know though. Hopefully someone comes and helps me out with this.

There is no contradiction. Remember, 9s aren't really "not angry". They're good at suppressing it or forgetting it, because we don't like feeling it. But when it is finally expressed, for whatever reason, there are only two ways it can come out in terms of Enneagram: the 8 way, forceful and direct, and the 1 way, which is more indirect, but generally very critical.

Insofar as the 8 way is concerned, for a 9w8, it is definitely an overall rage (kind of Hulk-like, as one has suggested). Ironically, when this happened to me recently, I was as much angry about being pushed hard enough that I was forced to be angry, not just the particular thing that I was angry about. Also, I didn't immediately realize I was angry, at first. I had to ponder about it for a while. Once I realized I was angry, and started letting it out, I was really f-cking pissed off. I did inform the person who made me angry that I was angry. (We 9s don't always do that. I had to consciously choose to do it.) When the target of my ire ended up doing the same kind of thing again later that week, there was no pause in the anger: I was livid. I was ready to do violence - or at least toss my cup of water into the person's face. I had to immediately get out of that environment, because I couldn't trust myself interacting with people at the time.

The result of my anger was a fairly long email, expressing in detail what I was angry about, why I was angry, and setting boundaries. This is/was a close friend of mine, and the friendship may well be over. The funny thing is, I'm not sad or regretful about it. The thing I was angry about is absolutely unacceptable in a friendship (lying, and not little white lies, and a repeated pattern of lying about a particular topic over and over again). If this is what they're like when push comes to shove, then I'd be ill advised to rely on or otherwise trust them as I had been. I even understand why they did what they did, and I am fairly sure that they'd do it again in spite of their denials.

I feel good for having stood up for myself, and not letting things slide. I'm not angry any more, either. It got expressed, made me do what I needed to do, and it's done.

Oh that my Pow'r to Saving were confin’d:
Why am I forc’d, like Heav’n, against my mind,
To make Examples of another Kind?
Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Insofar as the 8 way is concerned, for a 9w8, it is definitely an overall rage (kind of Hulk-like, as one has suggested). Ironically, when this happened to me recently, I was as much angry about being pushed hard enough that I was forced to be angry, not just the particular thing that I was angry about. Also, I didn't immediately realize I was angry, at first. I had to ponder about it for a while. Once I realized I was angry, and started letting it out, I was really f-cking pissed off. I did inform the person who made me angry that I was angry. (We 9s don't always do that. I had to consciously choose to do it.) When the target of my ire ended up doing the same kind of thing again later that week, there was no pause in the anger: I was livid. I was ready to do violence - or at least toss my cup of water into the person's face. I had to immediately get out of that environment, because I couldn't trust myself interacting with people at the time.

That is a very good summation, especially the part in bold. More often than not, I experience thoughts (which occasionally might be verbalized) such as, "why did you have to make me angry?" (as opposed to "why did you have to do that [whatever action led to anger]?") Also, (and this was more common in my younger years) often I have experienced myself being far angrier that someone did something with the intention to upset me than I would have been at the action itself. Maybe this is why I really don't get angry that often...as I stated earlier, I am easily irritated or annoyed by people, but can usually realize they didn't intend to upset me well before said irritation erupts into anger, but the second it becomes clear they intended to do it, it can become very difficult to prevent myself from becoming full-blown, hulk angry, at which point I either run the risk of smashing things or unleashing a verbal assault which generally seems to frighten people, as they would never expect it from me.

I suppose this is where the Hulk reference really becomes relevant.

 

[Hitoshi-San]

[MENTION=25573]Enygmatic[/MENTION]

1. Did you play any sports as a kid/teen? If you did, what were they and did you like them?

2. If you could teach someone a skill what would it be?

3. If you found a box on your doorstep and when you opened it, found a baby Minion inside, what would you do with it, and what would you name it?

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I can notice there are many thumbs up in the enneatype 9's thread

 

[Enygmatic]

Fight is fun with peachy guys only

So the subject could be : "Hey I heard the enneatype 9 hate french women ! They think we all are some bloody revolutionist."

"Oh not just the women but the men too! Ever since the French Revolution all they want to do is overthrow the government because they need something to fight against. Actually a Revolution is the only time they do fight against something..."

 

[Enygmatic]

1. Did you play any sports as a kid/teen? If you did, what were they and did you like them?

Not outside of school but I went to all the sports days, sports classes and as a teen went to a basketball club for a short while.
I enjoyed basketball a great deal, I liked the teamwork but I found I wasn't really on par with my fellow team-mates and decided to quit to spend my time on other clubs and interests (e.g. at the time I was interested in acting and drama).
I also really liked table tennis and rounders but once again, sports really wasn't where my skills lied.

2. If you could teach someone a skill what would it be?

Interesting question; I'd love to teach people how to analyse movies and get the most of the movie going experience, I have no idea how I'd go about doing that but that is what I'd want to do.

3. If you found a box on your doorstep and when you opened it, found a baby Minion inside, what would you do with it, and what would you name it?

If minions were still believed to be fictional characters, I would give it to the police after questioning my sanity as well as if it is real.
If they were known to exist, then I would keep it as a pet. I'd either call him banana, squishy or minion.

 

[small.wonder]

I've got a scenario for you 9's! It involves a 9w1 friend of mine, and I wrote it up here (it's the last post on the page). Mind checking it out and sharing your thoughts? [MENTION=25573]Enygmatic[/MENTION] [MENTION=19700]Starcrash[/MENTION] [MENTION=24643]Frosty6226[/MENTION] [MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION]

 

[Enygmatic]

I've got a scenario for you 9's! It involves a 9w1 friend of mine, and I wrote it up here (it's the last post on the page). Mind checking it out and sharing your thoughts? [MENTION=25573]Enygmatic[/MENTION] [MENTION=19700]Starcrash[/MENTION] [MENTION=24643]Frosty6226[/MENTION] [MENTION=9310]uumlau[/MENTION]

I'm sorry to say I apparently don't have permission to access this page likely due to me only being here a short time. Could you copy and paste the scenario here?