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[Type 8] Help dealing with CP6s (is it just me this happens to?)

skylights

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If by pushing back you mean asserting yourself when boundaries have been pushed I don't see that as a problem. I try to respect other peoples boundaries and I do expect the same from others.

It's when those boundaries are based on some kind of paranoia with an aggressive response that problems start to occur.

Out of curiosity, how do you judge the difference?
 
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Some people also just have that face of someone someone else wants to fuck with.

I have close friends this seems to happen to. And they're all very confident, know how to fight but don't. Like they look tough enough, but are maybe smaller and bullies think they can intimidate them? I know UFC pioneer, Stephan Bonnar had a pretty face and he said that guys at bars were always trying to start shit with him. At the time he was "only" a Golden Gloves champion so he said he'd always try to play it down and avoid confrontation, but he'd often have to fight. 2 times, he said he had 2 different guys teeth lodged in his knuckles <The previous was graphic and should not have been read by the queasy>

CP6s sound like they all have short man syndrome or something.

I mean, it sounds like you're doing a good job. Deflecting insults that seem, from your stories, grounds for an ass whooping. But I've experienced much the same, and the loudest barkers do not bite (though sometimes they do).

I'd say shrug it off if you can. Sounds like you're calling them out and putting them in their place as little dorks that want to test you. So not sure what you meant by "revenge."

Not really my business but I am curious as to who you are affiliating with to be around people joking about stabbing you.
 

highlander

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CP6s sound like they all have short man syndrome or something.

I mean, it sounds like you're doing a good job. Deflecting insults that seem, from your stories, grounds for an ass whooping. But I've experienced much the same, and the loudest barkers do not bite (though sometimes they do).

No it's not short man syndrome. We can have problems with authority though and anyone who pretends to be one who isn't can be confronted. 8s tend to act like they are in charge when they are not which can be annoying to us. Mostly the issues with authority have to do with questions on whether or not we trust those who are in authority positions to act responsibly, fairly and in the best interests of others. There are people in positions of power and influence who readily abuse those positions and they can even damage people's lives.
 

rav3n

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No it's not short man syndrome. We can have problems with authority though and anyone who pretends to be one who isn't can be confronted. 8s tend to act like they are in charge when they are not which can be annoying to us. Mostly the issues with authority have to do with questions on whether or not we trust those who are in authority positions to act responsibly, fairly and in the best interests of others. There are people in positions of power and influence who readily abuse those positions and they can even damage people's lives.
This would be perceptional. If someone doesn't have authority over you, they can't coerce you into doing anything that you don't consent to, whether through silence or not.

If you consider, isn't this similar to straw manning? To set it up, just to knock it down?
 

highlander

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This would be perceptional. If someone doesn't have authority over you, they can't coerce you into doing anything that you don't consent to, whether through silence or not.

If you consider, isn't this similar to straw manning? To set it up, just to knock it down?

I have seen this play out with a couple of people at work. There was an ESTJ 8 who was in a position where I had to send things through him for approval. He took that role for all it was worth from an influence and power standpoint not just with me but with everyone. He would use a combination of little rants and occasionally threats to get what he wanted or to prove that he was in charge. Overall, he added very low value in the process but I had to work with him. I had a pretty good relationship with the guy and navigated through it well but it annoyed me that I had to deal with that kind of crap. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that the 8s can have a tendency to act like they have more authority than they do and that this can irritate others like counterphobic 6s. Because people often have a such a thirst for leadership though and a desire to not want to wield it themselves, they will often hand the 8 the reins.
 
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No it's not short man syndrome. We can have problems with authority though and anyone who pretends to be one who isn't can be confronted. 8s tend to act like they are in charge when they are not which can be annoying to us. Mostly the issues with authority have to do with questions on whether or not we trust those who are in authority positions to act responsibly, fairly and in the best interests of others. There are people in positions of power and influence who readily abuse those positions and they can even damage people's lives.

That is wild
 

rav3n

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Because people often have a such a thirst for leadership though and a desire to not want to wield it themselves, they will often hand the 8 the reins.
Prior to responding, can you please explain this? Are you saying that CP6s want to be leaders or that they don't wish to be leaders?
 

Bullterrier

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Out of curiosity, how do you judge the difference?

If it's called for or not. If it's just.

Say I borrow something without asking and that person gets annoyed. Ok, my fault. I'm sorry.

If someone starts to yell or threaten me for no reason other than me standing in that persons proximity, that's not just and now we have a problem and I won't back down.

If it feels personal and with ill intent.
 

highlander

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Prior to responding, can you please explain this? Are you saying that CP6s want to be leaders or that they don't wish to be leaders?

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. If there is a cause the CP6 can champion where courage, determination and persistence can be used to conquer something then I think it can be appealing to them. One dramatic example of a cp6 leader is Braveheart. He starts out as a young scrapper mostly alone and independent. When the Brits kill his wife and he is angered over the tyranny of British rule, he becomes their biggest nightmare. That is very 6.

On a personal level, I do like to lead but it's selective. I don't get enjoyment from being in leadership roles just to lead, which I think 8s tend to do. It has to be associated with a purpose, venture or a cause that I believe in. I also gravitate towards situations that are difficult, new or a challenge vs. things that are established and running smoothly already.
 

Bullterrier

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CP6s sound like they all have short man syndrome or something.

I mean, it sounds like you're doing a good job. Deflecting insults that seem, from your stories, grounds for an ass whooping. But I've experienced much the same, and the loudest barkers do not bite (though sometimes they do).

I'd say shrug it off if you can. Sounds like you're calling them out and putting them in their place as little dorks that want to test you. So not sure what you meant by "revenge."

Not really my business but I am curious as to who you are affiliating with to be around people joking about stabbing you.

I know they are insecure because they attack me.

Well revenge... He threatened me. Ok I've already put him in place, but now I want to put him down.

One of them is a coworker and the other is a neighbour. Both have aspirations to become a boss and both are older than me. The neighbour tries to boss me around because we're both in a committee where he has a higher position.

First time somebody threatens me with something like that (and they were close between), which is why I started the thread.
 

highlander

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I know they are insecure because they attack me.

Well revenge... He threatened me. Ok I've already put him in place, but now I want to put him down.

One of them is a coworker and the other is a neighbour. Both have aspirations to become a boss and both are older than me. The neighbour tries to boss me around because we're both in a committee where he has a higher position and tries to boss me around.

First time somebody threatens me with something like that (and they were close between), which is why I started the thread.

Not all things are due to a person's type.
 
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I know they are insecure because they attack me.

Well revenge... He threatened me. Ok I've already put him in place, but now I want to put him down.

One of them is a coworker and the other is a neighbour. Both have aspirations to become a boss and both are older than me. The neighbour tries to boss me around because we're both in a committee where he has a higher position.

First time somebody threatens me with something like that (and they were close between), which is why I started the thread.

Sounds like a potential thriller/drama


:popc1:
 

rav3n

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I have seen this play out with a couple of people at work. There was an ESTJ 8 who was in a position where I had to send things through him for approval. He took that role for all it was worth from an influence and power standpoint not just with me but with everyone. He would use a combination of little rants and occasionally threats to get what he wanted or to prove that he was in charge. Overall, he added very low value in the process but I had to work with him. I had a pretty good relationship with the guy and navigated through it well but it annoyed me that I had to deal with that kind of crap. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that the 8s can have a tendency to act like they have more authority than they do and that this can irritate others like counterphobic 6s. Because people often have a such a thirst for leadership though and a desire to not want to wield it themselves, they will often hand the 8 the reins.

Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. If there is a cause the CP6 can champion where courage, determination and persistence can be used to conquer something then I think it can be appealing to them. One dramatic example of a cp6 leader is Braveheart. He starts out as a young scrapper mostly alone and independent. When the Brits kill his wife and he is angered over the tyranny of British rule, he becomes their biggest nightmare. That is very 6.

On a personal level, I do like to lead but it's selective. I don't get enjoyment from being in leadership roles just to lead, which I think 8s tend to do. It has to be associated with a purpose, venture or a cause that I believe in. I also gravitate towards situations that are difficult, new or a challenge vs. situaitons that are running smoothly already.
Okay, now that you've explained it, CP6s are either competing for the leadership role or they don't want the responsibility of the leadership role but if someone else takes it, like an 8, they have issues with this too unless the 8 handles the leadership role in the manner that the CP6 believes it should be handled.

Couched as above, do you see anything wrong with this picture?

As an 8, if I don't wish to listen, I won't. This includes not abiding by what official authorities have defined. I know full well that this can blow up in my face but I'm willing to take the consequences for doing so. If it's an irrelevant issue, it's not worth the stance, regardless of competence of the authority. It's very much a 'yeah, whatevs' attitude. Or if I want the leadership role, I'll take it.

The difference that I perceive, is that 8s take the agency they want, where CP6s appear to need agency given to them.
 

ceecee

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But why would the CP6 automatically assume that the 8 should be feared where suddenly, it's up to the 8 to make things bettah?

See how this works?

We always have to fix everything someone else screws up, at least that's how it feels much of the time.

Okay, now that you've explained it, CP6s are either competing for the leadership role or they don't want the responsibility of the leadership role but if someone else takes it, like an 8, they have issues with this too unless the 8 handles the leadership role in the manner that the CP6 believes it should be handled.

Couched as above, do you see anything wrong with this picture?

As an 8, if I don't wish to listen, I won't. This includes not abiding by what official authorities have defined. I know full well that this can blow up in my face but I'm willing to take the consequences for doing so. If it's an irrelevant issue, it's not worth the stance, regardless of competence of the authority. It's very much a 'yeah, whatevs' attitude. Or if I want the leadership role, I'll take it.

The difference that I perceive, is that 8s take the agency they want, where CP6s appear to need agency given to them.

That's how I see this too. I'm not waiting around for someone to give me anything.
 

highlander

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Okay, now that you've explained it, CP6s are either competing for the leadership role or they don't want the responsibility of the leadership role but if someone else takes it, like an 8, they have issues with this too unless the 8 handles the leadership role in the manner that the CP6 believes it should be handled.

Couched as above, do you see anything wrong with this picture?

That's not exactly what I said but I can understand why you're making the interpretation you are. I don't think of 6s as typically competing for a leadership role. It's not really our style and feels distasteful. We will assume them. We will engineer getting into them. We'll be given them. We won't compete. It may be part of why we don't like that dynamic with the 8s - because of the way you are thinking about this.

As an 8, if I don't wish to listen, I won't. This includes not abiding by what official authorities have defined. I know full well that this can blow up in my face but I'm willing to take the consequences for doing so. If it's an irrelevant issue, it's not worth the stance, regardless of competence of the authority. It's very much a 'yeah, whatevs' attitude. Or if I want the leadership role, I'll take it.

The difference that I perceive, is that 8s take the agency they want, where CP6s appear to need agency given to them.

That's interesting about the listening and how you abide by what authorities want. Is it like an anti-authority thing at times? There is an 8 contractor working on one one of my teams right now (probably XNTJ). They guy is very good with very strong communications skills and very strong technical skills. He's a natural leader but he doesn't actually want to be in leadership role. It's perplexing. I think he just doesn't want to answer to anyone and wants to do whatever he feels like. He is a little bit of a premadonna.

I believe CP6s will be slower to take the "agency" you mention because they don't want to damage their relationship with others. It's not that they need it to be given to them. In a situation of urgency or crisis, they won't hesitate to take that agency.
 

highlander

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CP6 = Anti authority, 8 = power struggle

I think the two can exhibit the same behaviors but for different reasons. Whether that is an accurate depiction of the difference, I'm not sure.
 
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