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[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] Wing point relationships?

Chad of the OttomanEmpire

Give me a fourth dot.
Joined
Jun 9, 2013
Messages
1,053
MBTI Type
NeTi
Enneagram
478
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
They're real. I subscribe to wing tension theory myself--we're created by the interplay between our wings. I don't, conversely, subscribe to one-wing theory. The problem is often choosing WHICH wing is dominant.
 

Azure Flame

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
2,317
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
What do you think of them?

9's are adorable unless they're unhealthy, then they become these creepy soulless dependant people. 7's are cool as long as you aren't on vacation with them I guess.

as an 8 I don't particularly enjoy dating 9's and 7's. I'm really all about 4's.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
8s seem like fun and I don't have to worry about clinginess. And there's enough oomph to keep the spark going.

6s seem loyal and and troubleshooting. Mmm never really ran into a 6 that was my cup of tea relationship-wise. But who knows. :shrug:
 

Showbread

climb on
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Messages
2,298
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I fell for an ISTJ 1w2. We just kind of synced. We are definitely both "know it alls" but our knowledge bases rarely intersected, so it was never a problem. Really the only reason we broke up is because he is moving across the country. So, I tend to think it could have worked. I doubt I could handle dating a 3 though...

But, don't make a decision about being in a relationship based on theoretical typology. It makes for a fun way to analyze people/situations. But it is definitely not something to live your life by.
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
8s seem like fun and I don't have to worry about clinginess. And there's enough oomph to keep the spark going.

6s seem loyal and and troubleshooting. Mmm never really ran into a 6 that was my cup of tea relationship-wise. But who knows. :shrug:

I think an 8 might stress you out.
 

Nicki

Retired
Joined
Jun 26, 2010
Messages
1,505
I like 7s but I wouldn't date them. 5s seem boring.
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I like 7s but I wouldn't date them. 5s seem boring.

Yeah, 7s are too flaky for my liking. 5s are too timid.

Both don't give me the security I seek.

I feel like 6 and 8 would be wonderful together; the 6 can act as the radar to detect potential traps/danger, and the 8 provides the firepower to banish that trap/danger.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I think an 8 might stress you out.

That is true. :thinking: I like 8s as friends, but maybe they'd be more protective and possessive in relationships. Maybe 9w8 would be better. And plus I think 6s with a more counterphobic attitude are very interesting. So who knows really. :D I think dating an E3 would also be an experience.
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
That is true. :thinking: I like 8s as friends, but maybe they'd be more protective and possessive in relationships. Maybe 9w8 would be better. And plus I think 6s with a more counterphobic attitude are very interesting. So who knows really. :D I think dating an E3 would also be an experience.

I wouldn't want to date anyone (unhealthy) in the image triad. It seems like I'm the one that's holding onto their hands if shit hits the fan.

I think CP6s would be lovely; they're loyal, stalwart and cooperative. They're also belligerent when need be. *clears throat*

9w8s would be good for you, I think -- they're a nice balance to your hyperactive and scattered demeanor. They're also grounded and calm.
 

Lady Lazarus

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 30, 2014
Messages
2,148
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
8's seem fine I guess, at least they wouldn't want to talk about their emotions, which is something we can agree on.

1's are my favorites.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I kind of dig female 3w2s.

I don't think I'd have lasted too long in a relationship with a 4 or a 6.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
9w8s would be good for you, I think -- they're a nice balance to your hyperactive and scattered demeanor. They're also grounded and calm.

Are there any gay 9w8 celebs I wonder. :thinking:
 

Riva

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
2,371
Enneagram
7w8
There was another thread regarding this subject.

Anyway if this is the ideal match i am doomed since my options are 8 and 6. Omgosh 6s i have had for the most part terrible terrible relationships with (mainly cp e6s).

Either that or i am a 9w8 and my options are 1s and 8s.

Wait if so i am still doomed.

Maybe i am a 8w9. That's the only way to feel good about this subject if i am taking it seriously.
 

Noll

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2013
Messages
705
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
I like 3's and 5's a lot, however of all types, they are apparently the most emotionally distant and unintimate in relationships (5's can be extremely clingy but it takes time for them to 'break' them in). I don't know if I'm really compatible with that, I'm so childishly delicate and needy. But I'd give anything a try right now, I want another pain!
 

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
650
MBTI Type
SeFi
Enneagram
4
Anyway if this is the ideal match i am doomed since my options are 8 and 6. Omgosh 6s i have had for the most part terrible terrible relationships with (mainly cp e6s).

To state the obvious, I'm attracted to the person, not the type. But as a pattern, I'm most wildly attracted to 8s and 6s. Even without knowing enneagram before, I look back on my life and 8 and 6 constitutes most of my major crushes and connections. There was also a 4.. and that was profound.. but we were so alike it was uncanny. The scariest and most powerful thing about it was that I saw myself in him and learned so much about myself. But that was something that needed to happen at that time, when we were both lost. Being more healthy and having found myself again, I think it's unlikely I would be attracted to a 4. I could picture any other type working out (depending on the person).. but I haven't encountered anyone that drives me as crazy - for better or worse - as 6s and 8s thus far. There is always conflict, but when a true challenge mixes with loyalty, respect and carnal attraction, it is a recipe for inspiration, fire and delicious sex.

I am heavily demisexual and I need someone who is willing to invest in me as a person and get to know me for who I am without any expectations. 6s and 8s both seem to want to be sure of who someone is and take time to build trust for different reasons. This is attractive to me. I don't want someone to come onto me day one. I have had gorgeous men (of any type) do this in the past but it's a turn-off. The ones I fall for are those looking for something deeper.. a real connection, trust, and loyalty. With these two types, I feel a balance of them having something I lack, but also me having a role; having something to offer. To oversimplify it, 6s push me to the next level mentally and creatively, and 8s push me to action and to express myself more simply and plainly (not just in art), and get right down to the heart of things and what is real and important. It seems I give both types a safe place to be themselves and express emotions, to feel comfortable being more vulnerable, in different ways. Trust is crucial for anyone, but especially for reactive types. They are less put off by me expressing negative emotions, carrying on about my past, or feeling like I will be rejected for who I am.. but can relate to my push-pull and work with me in a better rhythm. Hard to explain in a short paragraph, but the combination of a reactive pairing and the fire and challenges, with the deeper willingness to build trust and understand in an unspoken way why that is necessary - is invaluable.
 

Kierva

#KUWK
Joined
Dec 8, 2010
Messages
2,469
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
To state the obvious, I'm attracted to the person, not the type. But as a pattern, I'm most wildly attracted to 8s and 6s. Even without knowing enneagram before, I look back on my life and 8 and 6 constitutes most of my major crushes and connections. There was also a 4.. and that was profound.. but we were so alike it was uncanny. The scariest and most powerful thing about it was that I saw myself in him and learned so much about myself. But that was something that needed to happen at that time, when we were both lost. Being more healthy and having found myself again, I think it's unlikely I would be attracted to a 4. I could picture any other type working out (depending on the person).. but I haven't encountered anyone that drives me as crazy - for better or worse - as 6s and 8s thus far. There is always conflict, but when a true challenge mixes with loyalty, respect and carnal attraction, it is a recipe for inspiration, fire and delicious sex.

I am heavily demisexual and I need someone who is willing to invest in me as a person and get to know me for who I am without any expectations. 6s and 8s both seem to want to be sure of who someone is and take time to build trust for different reasons. This is attractive to me. I don't want someone to come onto me day one. I have had gorgeous men (of any type) do this in the past but it's a turn-off. The ones I fall for are those looking for something deeper.. a real connection, trust, and loyalty. With these two types, I feel a balance of them having something I lack, but also me having a role; having something to offer. To oversimplify it, 6s push me to the next level mentally and creatively, and 8s push me to action and to express myself more simply and plainly (not just in art), and get right down to the heart of things and what is real and important. It seems I give both types a safe place to be themselves and express emotions, to feel comfortable being more vulnerable, in different ways. Trust is crucial for anyone, but especially for reactive types. They are less put off by me expressing negative emotions, carrying on about my past, or feeling like I will be rejected for who I am.. but can relate to my push-pull and work with me in a better rhythm. Hard to explain in a short paragraph, but the combination of a reactive pairing and the fire and challenges, with the deeper willingness to build trust and understand in an unspoken way why that is necessary - is invaluable.

It seems that the best compatibility is within the harmonic triads.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Oof. I was close with an ENFP 7w6 for a bit and I was really attracted but then it just kind of fell apart and kept crashing and burning, and that was as a friendship, not even a relationship. The lack of stability killed me. One week I was the sole inner circle and the next week I wasn't even interesting. One week I was the secret-keeper and the next week I didn't even get replied to.

I love most 7s I know - and to be sure some are far more stable than that one - but I think it's challenging as a 6 to deal with flightiness.

On the other hand, 5s - some seem very attractive but I'd probably have to be with an F or sx 5 for it to work.

I have had good experiences with 3w4 and 9w1. I could also see 9w8, 2s, or maybe even 1w2 working out.

I think that there are so many factors that play into relationships that it would be hard to isolate wing point relationships as either particularly successful or not. Perhaps the most that could realistically be said would be that you will share certain traits and strengths and may easily relate on that basis.

Good luck [MENTION=22014]violett[/MENTION] :D
 
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