• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[Type 7] Sevens in Love

0

011235813

Guest
Armando Molina on 7s in love, from Our Ways.

Have at it, [MENTION=17131]Chanaynay[/MENTION].

7SE characters live absorbed in their own expectations and enthused by a thousand exciting activities, and they want to do what they like just as much in company as when alone. Their extrinsic multipolar focus and typical fear of concentrating on a single course of action ... induce them to keep all their options open ... They like to meet many charming persons rather than achieve stability with one who, no matter how marvelous, may end up boring them; they desire to lead exciting adventures in which neither of the two becomes dependent.

More sensual than sexual or passionate, they enter into romantic relationships seeking to share and enjoy what each of the two has of the extraordinary; but they limit their commitment and avoid binding themselves. They tend to have sundry relations during their lives, always searching for self-sufficient lovers who complement their own interests and enthusiasms ... and who can enjoy [the world] with them without imposing restrictions ... If that is not possible, they prefer a friendship, well-defined to provide contact enough to sustain interest, but not so much of it to produce boredom or become stifling. The manner of relating is exciting and allows them to avoid having to discuss the unpleasant aspects of life.

Their fear of commitment often clothes itself in irrational fantasies, like feeling locked in a jail or hospital where the lack of freedom is complete; but once in love and committed, they are able to work hard to build a common future, which they are sure will be splendid. Meanwhile, they do not want either of the two to miss a single one of the many social, intellectual and aesthetic possibilities the world presents. Engaging in so many activities tends not to leave enough time for cultivating an authentic intimacy. They superficialize romantic relationships into doing things together and talking about interesting subjects; if a problem arises, they pack their agendas so no time exists to talk about it ...

They need a lover to support their self-esteem ... but they feel a tremendous need for independence ... If a lover attempts to control or manipulate them, they discover it instantly and revel by withdrawing and becoming evasive or by distracting the other's attention, but rarely by confronting ...

Flirty, they enjoy exerting their seductiveness because it confirms they are still sexually attractive. They allow themselves occasional infidelities without remorse, but try to spread these out so that none becomes a passion that induces them to abandon their lover. Conversely, if bored with a lover, rather than breaking the relationship off cleanly, they prefer gradually becoming so obvious in their infidelity that their lover splits.

Very playful, they know how to keep the illusion of love alive with manifold activities, intellectual stimulation and refined sex. They can easily replace negative emotions with something more enjoyable; and they have a splendid ability to elevate the tone of a weakened relation by focusing it on more brilliant things, supplying new interests to share, burying old conflicts, and starting over again. Since they like to help, they may devote time and effort to pep up a sad or depressed lover by attempting to infuse him or her with their optimism ...

Yet, they cannot deal with ... dependence ... if their lovers become too problematic and efforts to straighten them out do not yield fruit before too long, they weep over the relationship if it was good and go away. In a short time they recover their optimism ... it does not take them very long to find another love.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
ugh this one is pretty awful too. can't they at least preface this by saying a 7 that's really immature, selfish and doesn't care about you much....
 
0

011235813

Guest
ugh this one is pretty awful too. can't they at least preface this by saying a 7 that's really immature, selfish and doesn't care about you much....

:hug:

I agree, some of the descriptions are more negative than the others ... though I'm wondering if it's because some people react more personally to some particular flaws. IDK.
 

gromit

likes this
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
6,508
Hahaha yeah the descriptions make me not want to be in a relationship with any of the e-types.
 
S

Society

Guest
for 7s that have a difficulty identifying with much of the above, do you identify with this instead?
"Healthy Sevens with a 6 wing are responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. They are generally more oriented to relationship and want to be accepted by other people. Can be steady, more willing to stick with commitments; the 6 wing brings a longer sense of time. Usually funny or enjoy a good laugh - an amazing number of comedians are Sevens with a 6 wing. More openly vulnerable, have an unguarded, tender sweetness. Some have trouble expressing anger even when they are justified. May evade or finesse authority but still aware of it like a 6. Canny and practical, they look for the deals and the loopholes. When more entranced, may have surprise episodes of sensitivity and insecurity. Their feelings can be easily hurt sometimes. Sensitive especially to comparisons. May avoid putting themselves to the test. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Can feel guilt easily, may project their conscience onto others and then act irresponsibly. Make themselves shallow, fall in and out of love easily. Sometimes breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. When Sevens have a counterphobic 6 wing their idealism can motivate a sincere desire for social reform. May work hard for a cause. Can be antiauthority, passive/aggressive, flippant, defiant. Some report hating to be told what to do. Clashes with Ones likely. May call down trouble on themselves. Complain about the status quo. The realm of hippie rebellion" - source
(technically not a specifically "in love" description, but much of it seems to concentrate on the relevant aspects)
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=15291]Society[/MENTION] thanks for that 7w6 description. Much more accurate for me.
 

Doctor Cringelord

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2013
Messages
20,567
MBTI Type
I
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I want a thread for fives in love.

Data and the Borg Queen represent
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
for 7s that have a difficulty identifying with much of the above, do you identify with this instead?
"Healthy Sevens with a 6 wing are responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. They are generally more oriented to relationship and want to be accepted by other people. Can be steady, more willing to stick with commitments; the 6 wing brings a longer sense of time. Usually funny or enjoy a good laugh - an amazing number of comedians are Sevens with a 6 wing. More openly vulnerable, have an unguarded, tender sweetness. Some have trouble expressing anger even when they are justified. May evade or finesse authority but still aware of it like a 6. Canny and practical, they look for the deals and the loopholes. When more entranced, may have surprise episodes of sensitivity and insecurity. Their feelings can be easily hurt sometimes. Sensitive especially to comparisons. May avoid putting themselves to the test. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Can feel guilt easily, may project their conscience onto others and then act irresponsibly. Make themselves shallow, fall in and out of love easily. Sometimes breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. When Sevens have a counterphobic 6 wing their idealism can motivate a sincere desire for social reform. May work hard for a cause. Can be antiauthority, passive/aggressive, flippant, defiant. Some report hating to be told what to do. Clashes with Ones likely. May call down trouble on themselves. Complain about the status quo. The realm of hippie rebellion" - source
(technically not a specifically "in love" description, but much of it seems to concentrate on the relevant aspects)

Yes..almost all of that yep.
 

HongDou

navigating
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
5,191
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Thanks for posting senza. :) Didn't get to read until today because of the busy weekend.

7SE characters live absorbed in their own expectations and enthused by a thousand exciting activities, and they want to do what they like just as much in company as when alone. Their extrinsic multipolar focus and typical fear of concentrating on a single course of action ... induce them to keep all their options open ... They like to meet many charming persons rather than achieve stability with one who, no matter how marvelous, may end up boring them; they desire to lead exciting adventures in which neither of the two becomes dependent.

All true so far. Though this is very different with platonic love. I love to build stable friendships and connections with many different people, that way I can "hop" from person to person when I want to talk to someone. I'll inevitably get bored of interacting with the same person over and over. In high school, I would send out texts to all my friends at the beginning of the week asking them for a lunch date on different days so I would have a variety of types of interaction.

But yeah, in romantic relationships the idea that I may spend the rest of my life with said individual is much more apparent so I go around "trying people out" and peace out once the spark starts to dim.

More sensual than sexual or passionate, they enter into romantic relationships seeking to share and enjoy what each of the two has of the extraordinary; but they limit their commitment and avoid binding themselves. They tend to have sundry relations during their lives, always searching for self-sufficient lovers who complement their own interests and enthusiasms ... and who can enjoy [the world] with them without imposing restrictions ... If that is not possible, they prefer a friendship, well-defined to provide contact enough to sustain interest, but not so much of it to produce boredom or become stifling. The manner of relating is exciting and allows them to avoid having to discuss the unpleasant aspects of life.

I would say, at face value, I'm probably more sensual than passionate with prospective boyfriends. But that's more because I'm testing the waters, and waiting to see if this person is worth investing my passion into. Underneath I have a lot of passion that gets distributed to many different interests (for me, Kelly Clarkson and other artists, anime and video games, etc).

Having a self-sufficient lover is definitely high up on my priority list. I don't want to spend my time feeling restricted so I need someone that can self-soothe emotionally (at least on some level, I don't mind comforting people at all - I just don't want a defeatist crybaby), can deal with money-based issues, etc.

Their fear of commitment often clothes itself in irrational fantasies, like feeling locked in a jail or hospital where the lack of freedom is complete; but once in love and committed, they are able to work hard to build a common future, which they are sure will be splendid. Meanwhile, they do not want either of the two to miss a single one of the many social, intellectual and aesthetic possibilities the world presents. Engaging in so many activities tends not to leave enough time for cultivating an authentic intimacy. They superficialize romantic relationships into doing things together and talking about interesting subjects; if a problem arises, they pack their agendas so no time exists to talk about it ...

The prison analogy is iffy to me. I don't think I'd like to be ever forced into a situation fostering love like that.

The last half is definitely true; I want a relationship where I'm not missing out on what's happening in the world around me. At the same time, I kind of already expect that engaging in new activities with someone will create an authentic form of intimacy (maybe this is another 7 irrational fantasy). I assume that, when I'm in love with someone, if we go on all types of adventures and get more and more experiences that all my time I've spent with them having fun and enjoying life will be creating a more intimate connection. So I guess my downfall here is that maybe I have to think about less about enjoying what life has to offer with someone, but rather enjoying what that someone himself as an individual.

They need a lover to support their self-esteem ... but they feel a tremendous need for independence ... If a lover attempts to control or manipulate them, they discover it instantly and revel by withdrawing and becoming evasive or by distracting the other's attention, but rarely by confronting ...

I do play games a lot when I feel manipulated or controlled, but I actually am pretty direct when it comes to calling people out on their bullshit. So sometimes I'll do things to one-up someone and make them learn their lesson via emotional punishment (which is what I'm going to call this "withdrawing and evasiveness") but I'll confront them about it too. It's like a mix of both.

Flirty, they enjoy exerting their seductiveness because it confirms they are still sexually attractive. They allow themselves occasional infidelities without remorse, but try to spread these out so that none becomes a passion that induces them to abandon their lover. Conversely, if bored with a lover, rather than breaking the relationship off cleanly, they prefer gradually becoming so obvious in their infidelity that their lover splits.

This sounds more unhealthy too. Like [MENTION=5418]Lady_X[/MENTION] said, this sounds like a really immature and selfish 7. I enjoy being flirty and being seductive but I don't think I would ever cheat on my SO unless the love and passion was dead. And even then I would probably break it off before cheating, and before that I would try to bring the spark back.

Very playful, they know how to keep the illusion of love alive with manifold activities, intellectual stimulation and refined sex. They can easily replace negative emotions with something more enjoyable; and they have a splendid ability to elevate the tone of a weakened relation by focusing it on more brilliant things, supplying new interests to share, burying old conflicts, and starting over again. Since they like to help, they may devote time and effort to pep up a sad or depressed lover by attempting to infuse him or her with their optimism ...

Oh, I guess I already addressed this above. :blush: Guilty I guess.

Yet, they cannot deal with ... dependence ... if their lovers become too problematic and efforts to straighten them out do not yield fruit before too long, they weep over the relationship if it was good and go away. In a short time they recover their optimism ... it does not take them very long to find another love.

Yes.
 

infinite

New member
Joined
Mar 19, 2014
Messages
565
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
~8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Armando Molina on 7s in love, from Our Ways.

[MENTION]011235813[/MENTION]

Any chance you can post the section on 3's and 8's? Didn't see them if they were out already. Thanks ;)

EDIT: What happened to OP? Can't "mention" him/her.
 

senza tema

nunc rosa cras fex
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
2,432
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
471
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My last relationship was with a 7. Most of it was completely amazing but then one day something went wrong and our close, loving, intimate relationship ended up disintegrating in a matter of weeks. I have never had that happen to me before. It was traumatic and awful.

The worst thing is this: I know that he will get over it faster than I do because he can actually weep for what he's lost and move on whereas I will nurture the resentment and pain in my heart for years.

Anyway, a lot of this description is true of him. I mean, it is horrible and I am bitter but it is still true in spite of that.

I do like 7s though. I often find them incredibly attractive. But given my experience, they're terrible for my mental health.
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

failure to thrive
Joined
Feb 20, 2009
Messages
5,585
MBTI Type
INfj
Enneagram
451
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Hmm.

I think I am a 7 and I am in love.

I think about my Amor all the time, night and day. I vacillate between feeling disbelief that someone could love me like my Amor does, and feeling blissfully happy in knowing that my Amor does love me more than anyone else has. I want to know my Amor, and be known by my Amor. I am not concerned about rules of society, which has always made me question my infj status, but I think this aspect of my personality is a manifestation of being a 7. Because I am sx, it means my Amor and I will make our own rules. :)

Being a 7 and in love means I dream and I dream big. Ideas come to me unbidden and surge in like surf at high tide. Once my mind gets ahold of these, it surfs out onto those waves like a playful otter. I build a life for us that could happen, but just has not yet happened because of life circumstances. Then as I come back down to reality, I must reckon with the truth of the here and now, which is not as much fun. Still, I am always moving forward, looking at what could be, seeing the potential in every situation, and every person.

I know with certainty, and with time, some truths. Such as I am loved and I am wanted to distraction. And I want. And I need. Big. I am demanding. I have high standards. I am a task master. But I am also loyal to a fault. I do not give up easily or often. And, despite, what typical extraverted 7's might be like, I do not move on quickly or easily. In fact, all my life it is I who have been rejected. Not who has been the one rejecting.

I trust God will send me my Amor, as He said He would. But I also think I might live alone the rest of my life. Either is likely in my head. I trust God more than myself though...

So yeah.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Ooooo look what I found when I was looking for Lady X quotes to try and like....





I'm not doing anything today so I'm going to consider this far more deeply but after a brief read...



ugh this one is pretty awful too. can't they at least preface this by saying a 7 that's really immature, selfish and doesn't care about you much....


^^like
 
Last edited:

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Armando Molina on 7s in love, from Our Ways.

7SE characters live absorbed in their own expectations and enthused by a thousand exciting activities, and they want to do what they like just as much in company as when alone. Their extrinsic multipolar focus and typical fear of concentrating on a single course of action ...

Okay, I am like all of the above except for my ongoing attempt to curb my expectations. Or not to turn imagined future possibilities into expectations but rather be grateful for whichever comes to pass. Even the shitty stuff because Amor Fati.


induce them to keep all their options open...

I take issue with the word all here and to any thought that would lead the reader to think I consider people to be "options" as is suggested in the following sentences here...


They like to meet many charming persons rather than achieve stability with one who, no matter how marvelous, may end up boring them; they desire to lead exciting adventures in which neither of the two becomes dependent.


^^Absofuckinlutely not. It reminds me of Christopher McCandless...a total 7SE...what he kinda gave his life to learn...

644702442294cd49fd5610568bf8198f--christopher-mccandless-into-the-wild.jpg




More sensual than sexual or passionate
,

Obviously, this is complete bullshit as well considering it is an essential trait that ENFPs are the sexiest of the entire MBTI...fuckin duh. I'm 100% sexual and sexually attractive to all dudes and chicks even.


they enter into romantic relationships seeking to share and enjoy what each of the two has of the extraordinary;

100% True


but they limit their commitment and avoid binding themselves.

^complete and utter bullshit. it may take me longer to commit...but once I do I'm more than constant and devoted.



They tend to have sundry relations during their lives, always searching for self-sufficient lovers who complement their own interests and enthusiasms ... and who can enjoy [the world] with them without imposing restrictions ... If that is not possible, they prefer a friendship, well-defined to provide contact enough to sustain interest, but not so much of it to produce boredom or become stifling. The manner of relating is exciting and allows them to avoid having to discuss the unpleasant aspects of life.


Other than the fact I don't really know what sundry relations mean the above seems pretty true although I will tell you that I can be kinda clingy and needy at times unless made to feel ashamed about being clingy and needy at times. I'm independent but not that independent. If I didn't' prefer/like doing things as a couple I wouldn't be in the relationship.


okay...I'll have to come back for the rest because creating these posts with the quotes and colors is kinda hard for me...
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Their fear of commitment often clothes itself in irrational fantasies, like feeling locked in a jail or hospital where the lack of freedom is complete;

I honestly don't feel a fear of commitment causes any more irrational fears in me as say...not being committed even. Not taking care of myself properly...like going too long without eating or getting a little dehydrated because I went too long without drinking water or something... this can cause Ne to jump the tracks most of all.


but once in love and committed, they are able to work hard to build a common future, which they are sure will be splendid.

Yes, thank you Arlando finally.


Meanwhile, they do not want either of the two to miss a single one of the many social, intellectual and aesthetic possibilities the world presents. Engaging in so many activities tends not to leave enough time for cultivating an authentic intimacy. They superficialize romantic relationships into doing things together and talking about interesting subjects; if a problem arises, they pack their agendas so no time exists to talk about it ...

^^This is kinda a creepy passage because there's some truth in it but it's way off too. I can be surprisingly antisocial...and do what I can to constantly remind myself of the value of social contact. But I am all about the Intimate and do kinda imagine doing a bunch of awesome things. No fuckin way do I superficialize the romantic relationship though...unless that means I kinda only focus on the good? I do idealize a bit...overlook negative in the Intimate a bit maybe if that means superficialize...but I don't take them or the relationship lightly.


They need a lover to support their self-esteem ... but they feel a tremendous need for independence ... If a lover attempts to control or manipulate them, they discover it instantly and revel by withdrawing and becoming evasive or by distracting the other's attention, but rarely by confronting ...

Yes to all of this...yes.


tbc
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Flirty, they enjoy exerting their seductiveness because it confirms they are still sexually attractive.


I kinda feel like when I actually believe I'm being flirty guys are like wtf? But then when I'm regular myself I do get guys that sometimes think I'm flirting so idfk. I'm also weird because I am very vain but too lazy to do anything about it.


They allow themselves occasional infidelities without remorse, but try to spread these out so that none becomes a passion that induces them to abandon their lover. Conversely, if bored with a lover, rather than breaking the relationship off cleanly, they prefer gradually becoming so obvious in their infidelity that their lover splits.


There's no way in hell I could cheat or keep my cheating hidden if I did. I do know ENFPs that will won't break up with their boring partners but rather cheat though. People don't really become boring to me...and even if they did I can make anything interesting...I mean that...I've been put to the test there. But if things were to get unbearably boring or if there was something in the relationship that needed to give... I would spice/fix things up with a fight rather than look elsewhere. This is why they say "couples that fight together..."


Very playful, they know how to keep the illusion of love alive with manifold activities, intellectual stimulation and refined sex. They can easily replace negative emotions with something more enjoyable; and they have a splendid ability to elevate the tone of a weakened relation by focusing it on more brilliant things, supplying new interests to share, burying old conflicts, and starting over again. Since they like to help, they may devote time and effort to pep up a sad or depressed lover by attempting to infuse him or her with their optimism ...

Yah...I guess.



Yet, they cannot deal with ... dependence ... if their lovers become too problematic and efforts to straighten them out do not yield fruit before too long, they weep over the relationship if it was good and go away. In a short time they recover their optimism ... it does not take them very long to find another love.


I guess it would depend on what the definition of dependence is here. I don't see some dependence as a negative at all and is Molina piasano? Because idk. But I wouldn't be thrilled if my partner could easily take me or leave me? I'd like to think there was something great I had to offer that my partner "depended on" to make his life better/easier. I also don't think I recover quickly at all after the loss of a relationship fuck no.


Okay...you can come to do me damage now sexy bitches I'm done.
 

Avocado

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 28, 2013
Messages
3,794
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I kinda feel like when I actually believe I'm being flirty guys are like wtf? But then when I'm regular myself I do get guys that sometimes think I'm flirting so idfk. I'm also weird because I am very vain but too lazy to do anything about it.





There's no way in hell I could cheat or keep my cheating hidden if I did. I do know ENFPs that will won't break up with their boring partners but rather cheat though. People don't really become boring to me...and even if they did I can make anything interesting...I mean that...I've been put to the test there. But if things were to get unbearably boring or if there was something in the relationship that needed to give... I would spice/fix things up with a fight rather than look elsewhere. This is why they say "couples that fight together..."




Yah...I guess.






I guess it would depend on what the definition of dependence is here. I don't see some dependence as a negative at all and is Molina piasano? Because idk. But I wouldn't be thrilled if my partner could easily take me or leave me? I'd like to think there was something great I had to offer that my partner "depended on" to make his life better/easier. I also don't think I recover quickly at all after the loss of a relationship fuck no.


Okay...you can come to do me damage now sexy bitches I'm done.

If I'm an ENFP 7, why am I a virgin at 21?

Also, why do female superiors get on to me for flirting woth female customers when I am not flirting?
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
If I'm an ENFP 7, why am I a virgin at 21?

Also, why do female superiors get on to me for flirting woth female customers when I am not flirting?



It's because you are very, very slutty.




haha. No, it's because you are an ENFP 7.

I'm seeing the very last of the sunset and wishing you good things MQ.
 
Top