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[Type 4] Nice things to say about 4s?

louisiannie

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
At the risk of sounding like a whiny, self-absorbed Type 4... does anyone have something nice to say about 4s? Are we all ridiculous drama queens? What can a 4 do to make him/herself not so easily hate-able?

Even the "keywords" in the image from the Enneagram Institute encourages us 4s to share is kind of offensive. Why would anyone ever put that on their blog or website?

"Why yes, I am temperamental, self-absorbed, withdrawn, overly sensitive, and dramatic. At least I'm expressive?"

Am I just reacting like a stereotypical 4? Does anyone have anything NICE to say about the 4 type or should I try and do everything in my power to change Types? Is it even possible to change type?
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
[MENTION=21082]louisiannie[/MENTION]

4s not only feel with an intensity and depth that is beautiful, but it's like since they're so wrapped up in it, they're able to identify and express nuances of them that resonate with me, but i would have never been able to express it so concretely or eloquently. it helps me to be in touch with my own feelings to hear from 4s a lot of the times, since i feel a lot of the same things, but don't focus on them as intensely. it's really a great gift.

also, almost every thing i've ever read about type 7 on the internet has made me feel like shit about myself. the enneagram is expressed in negative terms like fear and coping strategies that can make any type feel like a lousy sack of crap.
 

grey_beard

The Typing Tabby
Joined
Jan 28, 2014
Messages
1,478
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
At the risk of sounding like a whiny, self-absorbed Type 4... does anyone have something nice to say about 4s? Are we all ridiculous drama queens? What can a 4 do to make him/herself not so easily hate-able?

Even the "keywords" in the image from the Enneagram Institute encourages us 4s to share is kind of offensive. Why would anyone ever put that on their blog or website?

"Why yes, I am temperamental, self-absorbed, withdrawn, overly sensitive, and dramatic. At least I'm expressive?"

Am I just reacting like a stereotypical 4? Does anyone have anything NICE to say about the 4 type or should I try and do everything in my power to change Types? Is it even possible to change type?
Don't EVER change types. You E4 INFPs are indispensable...you provide emotional depth and resolution and (if you know what I mean) "precision" : you are able to reach intuitively within other people's very moods and pull out the essential ingredients, so that those others who are hurting can grow beyond (and even, via) their pain, turning it into richness and wisdom.

I am grateful for the existence of INFPs. (And, even though not mentioned, you Type 9s are pretty freaking awesome too...) when you bother to come out of your shells and show your resplendence.

Signed,

A grateful INTJ.
 

Haven

Blind Guardian
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Messages
1,075
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
What can a 4 do to make him/herself not so easily hate-able?

This does not sound like something a 4 would ask. Wouldn't that rob you of your individuality?
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
This does not sound like something a 4 would ask. Wouldn't that rob you of your individuality?

Nope. Not when it is part of your 'individuality' to be likeable, kind and have good relationships with others.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Don't EVER change types. You E4 INFPs are indispensable...you provide emotional depth and resolution and (if you know what I mean) "precision" : you are able to reach intuitively within other people's very moods and pull out the essential ingredients, so that those others who are hurting can grow beyond (and even, via) their pain, turning it into richness and wisdom.

I am grateful for the existence of INFPs. (And, even though not mentioned, you Type 9s are pretty freaking awesome too...) when you bother to come out of your shells and show your resplendence.

Signed,

A grateful INTJ.

It just doesn't make for the best party trick, unfortunately :D
 

yeghor

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
4,276

I do not have enough knowledge to recognize people's enneagram type but, theoretically speaking, 4s do not take shit from other people and do not allow others to define who they (the 4s) really are...?
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
you probably like transient cheese more than anyone else in the world

 

louisiannie

New member
Joined
Mar 1, 2014
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Thank you. I've been feeling really gross/unloveable after reading a lot of stuff on INFPs and the Type 4 personality. Some commenters on another forum (not THIS one - y'all are awesome) basically flat out attack 4 Types with "open letters" detailing how all 4 qualities make you annoying, get you uninvited to social functions, difficult to work with, etc.

It's really nice to hear that 4s aren't terrible. I know I've got work to do channeling my emotions in more productive ways. It's hard to be criticized for something you struggle with/can't control - such as feeling things deeply and picking up on other's emotions (positive and negative).

Anywho, lovely to be a part of this forum and delightful to know that 4 types do have some strengths to go along with those weaknesses!
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Nope. Not when it is part of your 'individuality' to be likeable, kind and have good relationships with others.

4ing can get unpredictable and counterintuitive. Even before I knew about Enneagram, I decided that it was cliche to be unrelatable and took that on as an obsession. Knowing enneagram, it feels even more true, but also unavoidable in ways.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Thank you. I've been feeling really gross/unloveable after reading a lot of stuff on INFPs and the Type 4 personality. Some commenters on another forum (not THIS one - y'all are awesome) basically flat out attack 4 Types with "open letters" detailing how all 4 qualities make you annoying, get you uninvited to social functions, difficult to work with, etc.

It's really nice to hear that 4s aren't terrible. I know I've got work to do channeling my emotions in more productive ways. It's hard to be criticized for something you struggle with/can't control - such as feeling things deeply and picking up on other's emotions (positive and negative).

Anywho, lovely to be a part of this forum and delightful to know that 4 types do have some strengths to go along with those weaknesses!

Ask yourself how you feel about them. These people are rarely aware of just how unpopular they are themselves, and tend to just take out their own frustration on others. I'd say they don't make the cut wrt what feedback to take on board.

Yes, us fours can be dramatic, and a lot to handle, especially as we're still figuring out selves out - but every type out there has its issues, no worse or not better than any other. And we have our gifts - just like they do.
 

Azure Flame

Permabanned
Joined
Aug 26, 2010
Messages
2,317
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
From what I understand the only ones doing the trash talking are the 4's themselves
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Bah! A pox upon thee!
Parties are for extroverted sensors and other riff-raff! :whistling:

But the party's in my head!

 
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