[Type 4] 4 Fantasy/Daydream Junkies

[small.wonder]

Unless I overlooked an old thread, there isn't one specifically about this type 4 tendency. It's a huge one for me and though it can be wonderful in the moment, it's caused me quite a lot of grief in the long run by building up false expectations. I've even imagined people I hardly know in a specific light, fully fleshing out their personality, things we'd do together, conversations we would have, etc. This has backfired and injured me more times than I can count because I usually find out the real person is not like my dream version (duh! ), or they hardly even know I exist. I've done this with men I've been attracted to, friends of both genders, people whom I greatly respect, people I totally dislike (imagining hard conversations), etc.

How do your daydreams, wandering thoughts, etc. affect your life? What is generally the subject matter and when are you most likely to do this? Also, are you able to have any self control over this tendency?

 

[Standuble]

They are practically all-encompassing. I think I'm fundamentally removed from reality and instances where I am in the here-and-now tend to be covered in a "romantic" or "nostalgic" haze as if it were some sort of shroud. I absolutely adore it however I concede that it is often an impediment. A life without fantasy and day dreams in my opinion would not be worth living. If I were to be able to daydream in a state where I never had to interact with reality (e.g. no need to sleep, eat, work etc.) I would seriously consider taking it up. Building castles in the sky for all eternity has the potential to be paradise in my eyes. All that seems to matter is that they have the potential to be original and interesting in some capacity. However a part of me does care for reality (I do not know why it does but I suspect they are evolutionary mechanisms) and I do want to leave my mark on reality (though when it becomes a part of reality I don't think I would value it).

I cope by accepting and expecting reality not to match up. For example I often envision human interstellar and intergalactic societies and civilisations of techno-utopian calibre yet realise and accept that in real life they would still give rise to complaint and problems would still occur. Such places would not be free from existential issues and dilemmas either. So the reality for me is something I just get over and done with. I'm trapped in the room with it and I appease it to the extent it is necessary. I often approach a situation where I imagine myself using some sort of superpower (e.g. magic or psychic powers) where for example I would make it to work in time (when I'm running late) by using super speed or imagining myself to have a double life where me fighting monsters or aliens was the actual cause behind my lateness. It is ironic in a way that by turning away from reality I end up inflating an issue rooted in reality so it becomes a bigger deal than it would have been otherwise which ends up consuming my attention far more than it would have. Yet at the end I remember the reality of the situation and realise it to not be a big deal and my mind either keeps the fantasy for later use or moves on to its next.

 

[thatpants]

They are practically all-encompassing. I think I'm fundamentally removed from reality and instances where I am in the here-and-now tend to be covered in a "romantic" or "nostalgic" haze as if it were some sort of shroud. I absolutely adore it however I concede that it is often an impediment. A life without fantasy and day dreams in my opinion would not be worth living. If I were to be able to daydream in a state where I never had to interact with reality (e.g. no need to sleep, eat, work etc.) I would seriously consider taking it up. Building castles in the sky for all eternity has the potential to be paradise in my eyes. All that seems to matter is that they have the potential to be original and interesting in some capacity. However a part of me does care for reality (I do not know why it does but I suspect they are evolutionary mechanisms) and I do want to leave my mark on reality (though when it becomes a part of reality I don't think I would value it).

I definitely relate to the "romantic"/"nostalgic" haze, and am definitely prone to escape through nostalgia, which I realize is not the best. I have a great memory and my nostalgia can help me be a thoughtful friend (I'll remember the first song we listened to together and put it on a mix CD for you with other meaningful songs, for example), but it also can prevent me from living in the moment. That whole "living in the moment" thing is what I've really been working on this past year, I'd say.

I think my strong desire to leave my mark on reality, as beautifully stated by Standuble, helps to keep me in check. I also have a bit of a fantasy world created with my husband. We have all kinds of silly in-jokes and invented stories and such...I think that really fills a lot of my imaginative needs, while bonding us together. So I'd say it's adaptive. There's also something about escaping into books, movies & music...they're finite, in a way, so I can have that escape, but then return naturally, which is good for me.