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[Type 4] The difference between 4's

HBIC

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2014
Messages
174
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The 4 is masochistic, and while I see a 4 sx turning more on others, I think it's more like:
"I need to fulfill my desires even if it makes ME suffer" and "If I have to suffer, then so will you!".

And self-pres is more like "I will endure suffering to show others how significant & special I am, so they will regret not saving me when I finally crumble." Van Gogh is always the excellent example there. That's also why I mention crumbling inwardly. It's the whole "If I died, then everyone would suddenly feel so sorry about how they ignored me". The idea is of destroying oneself to finally show how significant you were, as if this can only be felt through your absence. In a more literal way, the endurance is a sacrifice of your needs & turning your suffering into proof you are significant. Being a 4, the sacrifice is often turned towards others still - "I have sacrificed romance or social success because I am not significant for others to care & would be a burden". Then comes the indulgence or recklessness, justified through your sacrifices (it seems like self-soothing, even if destructive in small ways).

I see so-dom as more vengeful - they will become the elite to finally reject others, or so goes the fantasy. And sx-dom are more consuming - they will become significant by eating up your significance, like some kind of black widow. I suppose that's why they're said to be the most competitive. Both turn things outwardly to some degree (to make others feel the shame/envy they do), whereas an sp-dom turns it on themselves mostly.

I relate to all of Naranjo's sub-types pretty heavily. I try and just see how it plays out in my personality as much as in my internal desires and focus, because they are all there internally. If I have an area that pains me or consumes my thoughts the most, then it's always the sx stuff, but I just chalk that up to being a 4.

As for energy, I am not calming so much as stifling perhaps. I think an sp-dom 4 is like a downer at a happy party, not by whining like an so-dom might or taking a dismissive air or seeming pathetic to draw attention, but with a stoney air that asks to be ignord. There's a heaviness that makes others uncomfortable though, like you're a reminder that pain & sadness exists in life. The soothing, calming sp-dom sounds so much more 9ish. I see sx-dom as being more overtly demanding.

The bolded parts are so me it makes me wanna cry.

Outwardly, yes, it's different, but I totally understand the fire. I get it and feel it, but perhaps not with the same immediacy - I usually feed it through a filter when I express it. I actually struggle to break down my wall of inhibition and get to the raw stuff.

The whole fire and ice thing is fairly accurate assessment of Sx/Sp and Sp/Sx (of all types) IME. The "ice" part isn't always cold and distant - it can manifest as being relaxed, chill, focussed, steady, centred. Nor is the "fire" always aggressive and full of rage - it can manifest as being very excitable, passionate, expressive and driven (often once they get the bit between their teeth they just won't stop). Of course, it varies depending on whether they're introverts of extroverts; it can be a subjective standard relative to that person's nature (and enneatype).

To me the main thing about these two stackings is how quickly they can switch gears, and I mean that in both a positive and negative sense.

With Sx/Sps and Sp/Sxs - they seem more changeable and more prepared for sudden emotional change. OTOH, I think the So/Sps (and maybe Sp/Sos?) are better able to handle social, cultural, conversational, informational and situational shifts. I don't know, perhaps you guys will disagree. :shrug:


Yeah, this is true of me too. Get me talking about an idea that grabs me (or irritates me) and I will come off like a Sx-dom. My intense rants about ideas have rather surprised and unnerved people in the past - either that or they laugh at me and tell me to calm down. You could say Social 4s are rather cerebral creatures and that's why ideas make them come alive, whereas the Self-pres and Sexual 4s have a more naturally instinctual bent.

Pretty much me.
 
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