[Type 4] Integration Point and Anger

[James W]

For all the type 1s out there who may have been a 4 at some point, what would you say that main point of integration was?

From what I understand, type 4s basic fears stem from insignificance whereas 1s fear corruption and I often find these days, with all the knowledge I have from INFPs as a personality type, issues like weakness and passiveness are constantly holding me back in life, staring me down in the face as if to say, "well, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" In which case, I feel like I'm tapping in to this anger fueled energy where I become massively proactive and set myself up for accomplishments, no matter how small or short term the accomplishments might seem at the time.

Then I say things to myself like, "I don't have to feel jealous of other people because that's bullshit and ultimately me, projecting my inadequacy on other people. I need to become as good as, if not better than them to combat these feelings of worthlessness."

Even my body language changes. I become more upright, direct, talk louder and clearer and in a deeper tone than before and just act more like a confident aggressor in general.

Are these typical traits of a type 1? Would you consider this positive and healthy behavior for a type 4 looking for growth?

 

[OrangeAppled]

Just FYI, integration doesn't mean you become another type. It means you become healthier by adopting positive behaviors, strategies and attitudes of that type which counteract your unhealthy fixation. It's a broadening of your ego, so that it's less threatened (because "who you are" includes a lot more, giving you a "wider range of"motion"), allowing you to function at a higher level as a person.

So when it comes to 1 integration, anger fueled energy is not really it. Rather, many 4s can show average 1 traits when not integrating, because there's a tie with the sense of being insignificant and trying to meet an idealized version of yourself (to become significant). 4 anger is often a bitter resentment towards those who have what the 4 wants (the love, meaning, etc), but who they deem as less, well, "special". This is similar to 1 righteous anger, where the 1 is resentful towards others who are "less good", while they are working so hard to be perfect, especially if they are not being commended for their efforts (something they don't like to acknowledge needing, but which triggers their 4 disintegration).

1 integration for a 4 tends to mean taking on 1 positive traits such as being more orderly & structured & self-disciplined so as to accomplish real goals that lend meaning to your life, instead of flittering it away in fantasy and indulging in moods. This is especially true when such goals are selfless and not about your image - this is where some healthy 2 traits come in also.

This also tends to make 4s shift focus off of what is missing in their life, as they are too busy finally living. There's not as much time for reflection that leads to dwelling and wallowing.

Of course, as 4s, we kick our feet at this because we (often) mistakenly think order in our life will make us boring, goody-good drones & that by not indulging our moods & fantasies & heightened awareness of "emotional voids" that we'll be losing ourselves, putting on a facade to play the game. So we may cling to certain personality flaws as an inevitable aspect of an identity we've romanticized. Letting go of the idealized identity and instead focusing on accomplishing your goals will actually bridge the gap between your ideal self & the "bad image" self you see as you; instead of making you lose yourself, it's more like you'll be true to your ideals & not sabotaged by fleeting moods which distort reality.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

For all the type 1s out there who may have been a 4 at some point, what would you say that main point of integration was?

From what I understand, type 4s basic fears stem from insignificance whereas 1s fear corruption and I often find these days, with all the knowledge I have from INFPs as a personality type, issues like weakness and passiveness are constantly holding me back in life, staring me down in the face as if to say, "well, what the fuck are you gonna do about it?" In which case, I feel like I'm tapping in to this anger fueled energy where I become massively proactive and set myself up for accomplishments, no matter how small or short term the accomplishments might seem at the time.

Then I say things to myself like, "I don't have to feel jealous of other people because that's bullshit and ultimately me, projecting my inadequacy on other people. I need to become as good as, if not better than them to combat these feelings of worthlessness."

Even my body language changes. I become more upright, direct, talk louder and clearer and in a deeper tone than before and just act more like a confident aggressor in general.

Are these typical traits of a type 1? Would you consider this positive and healthy behavior for a type 4 looking for growth?

I relate to this post so much.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

I like your avi, OP. That book had a profound effect on me when I read it in highschool.

 

[James W]

Just FYI, integration doesn't mean you become another type. It means you become healthier by adopting positive behaviors, strategies and attitudes of that type which counteract your unhealthy fixation. It's a broadening of your ego, so that it's less threatened (because "who you are" includes a lot more, giving you a "wider range of"motion"), allowing you to function at a higher level as a person.

So when it comes to 1 integration, anger fueled energy is not really it. Rather, many 4s can show average 1 traits when not integrating, because there's a tie with the sense of being insignificant and trying to meet an idealized version of yourself (to become significant). 4 anger is often a bitter resentment towards those who have what the 4 wants (the love, meaning, etc), but who they deem as less, well, "special". This is similar to 1 righteous anger, where the 1 is resentful towards others who are "less good", while they are working so hard to be perfect, especially if they are not being commended for their efforts (something they don't like to acknowledge needing, but which triggers their 4 disintegration).

1 integration for a 4 tends to mean taking on 1 positive traits such as being more orderly & structured & self-disciplined so as to accomplish real goals that lend meaning to your life, instead of flittering it away in fantasy and indulging in moods. This is especially true when such goals are selfless and not about your image - this is where some healthy 2 traits come in also.

This also tends to make 4s shift focus off of what is missing in their life, as they are too busy finally living. There's not as much time for reflection that leads to dwelling and wallowing.

Of course, as 4s, we kick our feet at this because we (often) mistakenly think order in our life will make us boring, goody-good drones & that by not indulging our moods & fantasies & heightened awareness of "emotional voids" that we'll be losing ourselves, putting on a facade to play the game. So we may cling to certain personality flaws as an inevitable aspect of an identity we've romanticized. Letting go of the idealized identity and instead focusing on accomplishing your goals will actually bridge the gap between your ideal self & the "bad image" self you see as you; instead of making you lose yourself, it's more like you'll be true to your ideals & not sabotaged by fleeting moods which distort reality.

Wow, this is just word for word perfect for the answers I was looking for. Particularly the process of integration in itself. The idea of adopting certain traits of a particular enneagram to compliment your own makes a lot more sense then my initial interpretation.

And I can relate to the idea of keeping yourself busy and proactive enough to feel a certain void in your identity, where you just feel the need to isolate yourself in order to reconnect to those powerful emotions in order to feel yourself again.

As for the anger issues, the idea that it could stem from an issue of narcissism from those I deem as "less special" than me hits a certain chord, most definitely. I thought it could be a passing fear of corruption, since the thought of being idle and all-talk is less of an idealized version of who you want to be, but I suppose that ties in with insignificance in its own right, since hesitation can cause anxiety in itself when you feel as if you're not reaching your full potential as a person.

Thank you.

I relate to this post so much.

Glad to hear it. It's good to know I'm not alone in my mannerisms when I go into Hulk like Te overdrive.

I like your avi, OP. That book had a profound effect on me when I read it in highschool.

Fantastic book. One of my all time favourites. Just everything about the writing style and themes of innocence lost and isolation really hits home for me. Holden is less than perfect as a character or even as a narrator, but he's a sweetheart nonetheless and you know his intentions are pure. Just wish my version of the book had the same cover as my avatar, since it's admittedly a lot cooler to look at. Haha.

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Fantastic book. One of my all time favourites. Just everything about the writing style and themes of innocence lost and isolation really hits home for me. Holden is less than perfect as a character or even as a narrator, but he's a sweetheart nonetheless and you know his intentions are pure. Just wish my version of the book had the same cover as my avatar, since it's admittedly a lot cooler to look at. Haha.

Yup : )

Btw I think we have the same name.

 

[James W]

Yup : )

Btw I think we have the same name.

Shit, really?

I'll admit I'm not very imaginative when it comes to Usernames these days.

If your surname ends in "ilson," a few bricks will be shat.