[Type 4] Introverted 4w3's?

[Cloud of Thunder]

Any examples of Introverted 4w3's? A lot of the descriptions paint 4w3 as the sultry diva, which I have a hard time envisioning as introverted...

 

[HongDou]

A lot of the descriptions paint 4w3 as the sultry diva

Anyway, my INFJ friend is 4w3 so/sp. Ask away.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

Good God, that video. O_O

An INFJ 4w3? Do tell, what's that like? How does that manifest IRL?

 

[HongDou]

An INFJ 4w3? Do tell, what's that like? How does that manifest IRL?

I think he's more toned down than most 4w3s (also because of sx-last). He's a bit of a contradiction because he has this desire to make connections and be included but he also wants to define himself as different than everyone else. Fe + so-first makes him want to be helpful and nice to others making him seem 2ish but he expects to be remembered for it. Okay, at this point let me just say I'm a bit biased because he's been my friend for the majority of my life and I can get real sick of his melodramatic shit. Anyway, he expects that if he's helpful and nice to others that people will see him as a special person and make him feel special for it. My problem with it is that he's actually pretty formal and held back and pretty socially awkward so he actually sucks at making himself distinguishable from people who are more engaging with others and his approach sounds really contrived. I guess it's the whole 4 frustration with not being adequately parented, expecting others to nurture them.

That probably wasn't very helpful but I tend to ramble when it comes to him. Any specific questions you have in mind?

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

I think he's more toned down than most 4w3s (also because of sx-last). He's a bit of a contradiction because he has this desire to make connections and be included but he also wants to define himself as different than everyone else. Fe + so-first makes him want to be helpful and nice to others making him seem 2ish but he expects to be remembered for it. Okay, at this point let me just say I'm a bit biased because he's been my friend for the majority of my life and I can get real sick of his melodramatic shit. Anyway, he expects that if he's helpful and nice to others that people will see him as a special person and make him feel special for it. My problem with it is that he's actually pretty formal and held back and pretty socially awkward so he actually sucks at making himself distinguishable from people who are more engaging with others and his approach sounds really contrived. I guess it's the whole 4 frustration with not being adequately parented, expecting others to nurture them.

That probably wasn't very helpful but I tend to ramble when it comes to him. Any specific questions you have in mind?

So he has social anxiety? Could that come from being a Social 4?

 

[ndovjtjcaqidthi]

Good God, that video. O_O

Lol, how can you be unaware of that video?

 

[HongDou]

So he has social anxiety? Could that come from being a Social 4?

I don't think he actually suffers from SAD. He's just more withdrawn/held back and not as people-oriented as he likes to make himself out to be. He recognizes he's more of a social introvert but he tells me things like "I think I'm pretty outgoing" and I'm just like "well you're not." I also think he's more personally defined in his mind than on the outside. He also tries to take qualities he views as admirable and emulate them to make them a part of his character. He does this with me a lot, trying to emulate my outgoing/energetic persona, the amount I look after my friends, my general openness, etc. But it all comes across as contrived and forced because he's emulating others' qualities and it's not a part of his actual cognition/behavior. It's the whole "in order to be loved for who I am, I must pretend to be what I am not" part of the heart triad I guess.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

Lol, how can you be unaware of that video?

No no, I'm very much aware of it. I just find it (and him) terribly distasteful.