Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
An sx-last 4 could probably answer this better but it seems to me more like a longing or romanticizing of intensity vs actually being intense.
sounds a lot like me, my exterior is so cold and reserved somehow, there's just no getting close to me or to anyone. crippling shy; i never talk, an intense stutter. in the end i just end up fantasizing greatly about a special someone, they'll never know. each night i promise myself i'm going to initiate a conversation with the particular person, but when i'm so close to doing it i just never do. but i'm working on it... so slowly, time goes by so quick, soon we will be seperated by force. the funny thing too is that it's not just ONE person, it's one of many likely candidates, i'm not a very picky person, but it's based on physical attraction as i don't know the people in question, which does makes me feel slightly shallow sometimes. i know physical attraction is an important factor, but it does feel a little harsh sometimes, because i know the feelings of inadequacy. it's basically: "if you're ugly you deserve to die alone". a mean personality ticks me off though.

as for anxiety... i don't know, and i don't speak for all 4s, i've always been reclusive and shy, not wanting to expose my stuttering. i don't have 'anxiety attacks' but i have a lot of social fears, nervousness, it's been a lot better this week though. i've managed to talk to some people fairly non-awkwardly, as i felt what i said with a rigid expression was so distant from what everyone else said, it still felt good getting myself out there. i'll improve, i'm still young. but what i'm saying is this is not what i expected 6 months ago haha, no friends, no gf/bf, no anyone.