S
Stansmith
Guest
I've done some introspecting, and the best way I can relate to the Six-concept of loyalty is loyalty to a belief that I feel will get me what I desire, mainly in the Social and Sexual realm.
One persistent belief that I can recall having was; "If I stick around the group enough, I'm sure they'll embrace me and I'll have access to ideal relationships and experiences". When that didn't happen, I'd get frustrated and wondered why I couldn't have the love, affection, and camaraderie that other people naturally seem to get, as if they were born with an intuitive sense of what other people find likeable and relatable. Sometimes I'd try to act extra conformist and Fe or Se-ish, but people still didn't seem to care, and I knew I would never get to enjoy myself if I acted in a conventional manner. Other times I would try to make the popular kids laugh in hopes that they'd accept me into the group, and I'd be able to flourish and become the socialite I wanted to be. I was essentially loyal to the belief that every positive effort you put into the social realm should have a predictable result; if you're talkative, you'll have lots of friends. If you look "distinguished" or exceptionally well-dressed, people will admire or fall for you. If you look good, everyone will like you. If you have a job and seem busy, you'll be confident and people will be impressed by you. If you're talented, you'll be confident and thus loved.
If all that fails, I'll usually blame it on my social awkwardness, paranoia or lack of confidence which hinders me from showing my best self to other people. After enough disappointment, I'll assume I'm hopeless and unworthy of love.
I just have a hard time grasping the idea that you lose some, and win some when it comes to relationships; the idea that nothing you do will ever guarantee that you'll get everything or everyone you want. You essentially put yourself out there as you are, and some people will like you, and other people won't. Some people who take interest in you will be amazing, other people won't Relationships are a gamble. For whatever reason, I lost touch with that basic concept and learned to take each rejection from someone I found appealing (an authority figure) personally as a reflection of my character or intrinsic worth, and I had to find sure-fire ways to impress them and gain their attention.
I'm not sure how relatable this is, but I thought I'd share to see if this complex fits within the realm of Six-ness.
One persistent belief that I can recall having was; "If I stick around the group enough, I'm sure they'll embrace me and I'll have access to ideal relationships and experiences". When that didn't happen, I'd get frustrated and wondered why I couldn't have the love, affection, and camaraderie that other people naturally seem to get, as if they were born with an intuitive sense of what other people find likeable and relatable. Sometimes I'd try to act extra conformist and Fe or Se-ish, but people still didn't seem to care, and I knew I would never get to enjoy myself if I acted in a conventional manner. Other times I would try to make the popular kids laugh in hopes that they'd accept me into the group, and I'd be able to flourish and become the socialite I wanted to be. I was essentially loyal to the belief that every positive effort you put into the social realm should have a predictable result; if you're talkative, you'll have lots of friends. If you look "distinguished" or exceptionally well-dressed, people will admire or fall for you. If you look good, everyone will like you. If you have a job and seem busy, you'll be confident and people will be impressed by you. If you're talented, you'll be confident and thus loved.
If all that fails, I'll usually blame it on my social awkwardness, paranoia or lack of confidence which hinders me from showing my best self to other people. After enough disappointment, I'll assume I'm hopeless and unworthy of love.
I just have a hard time grasping the idea that you lose some, and win some when it comes to relationships; the idea that nothing you do will ever guarantee that you'll get everything or everyone you want. You essentially put yourself out there as you are, and some people will like you, and other people won't. Some people who take interest in you will be amazing, other people won't Relationships are a gamble. For whatever reason, I lost touch with that basic concept and learned to take each rejection from someone I found appealing (an authority figure) personally as a reflection of my character or intrinsic worth, and I had to find sure-fire ways to impress them and gain their attention.
I'm not sure how relatable this is, but I thought I'd share to see if this complex fits within the realm of Six-ness.