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[Type 8] Eights: What Enneagram type do you know you are head over heels attracted to?

Newbyagain

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I know regardless of what people say there is one answer to this. I know my whole life I have always walked around saying I only want a man with a temper. It wasn't until I got older that I realized this was an Enneagram 8. I have this amazing chemistry with them. I feel like when we meet, I have met my match; the missing part of me is complete. So I am wondering if this makes me Eight-ish or Nine-ish, maybe even One-ish? I know there is one answer to this question because it's such a mutual chemistry. Which type do you feel this with?

I know in the compatibility charts, it seems like the Eight and Nine have a good chemistry the way it is described, but that doesn't quite make sense to me, because I would feel like Eights would see them as less passionate. At the same time, I felt like when I am around these Eights, I feel like I bring the softer side of things, yet strength, but the softer side of me may just be because I am an INFJ. I dated this ESTP Eight and we were a match made in Heaven, he was like the doer, protective, provider, and I brought the ideas, imagination, and nurturing to everything, plus I felt strong with him. In some ways I felt like I taught him confidence and strength though, I could tell he admired it in me.

What is this chemistry I am describing?

I know there are other types that an Eight would like, but I am talking about this feeling of them being my absolute, exact other half. Like we were puzzle pieces who found each other.

There are other types that I could sort of like, but I would never have this full-blown chemistry unless Eight is somewhere in their type. I feel like we are the ultimate power couple together.
 

Newbyagain

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4's and 2's. Sometimes 5's.

How do you feel about Nines? When you think of a power type you want in your SO's personality, which power type is it? Or do you not think about that category?
 

Azure Flame

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How do you feel about Nines? When you think of a power type you want in your SO's personality, which power type is it? Or do you not think about that category?

9's are cursed with an inability to introspect or explain why they like things, and often times don't know why they're still dating you when feelings have run dry. As an Sx dom, I want to be able to predict and understand my partner on a very deep level, and this is made difficult with the E9's lack of introspection.
 

Newbyagain

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9's are cursed with an inability to introspect or explain why they like things, and often times don't know why they're still dating you when feelings have run dry. As an Sx dom, I want to be able to predict and understand my partner on a very deep level, and this is made difficult with the E9's lack of introspection.

Thanks for explaining that. The compatibility chart for types on that big named website makes it sounds like Eights and Nines have a strong chemistry, but I can't say I'm sold. I thought because it seems like Nines are just not as responsive as an Eight would like, but maybe Eights tune in on the quiet strength of Nines in ways that most other types can't... I don't know. Do you think maybe that is Five in you that wants that introspection?

Here is the chart I was talking about. Can you tell me if you relate to this explanation or the author has painted an honest picture of it? It makes it sound like there is a strong chemistry, but I'm still questioning it.
 

miss fortune

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give me someone colder and less emotional ANY day as opposed to someone who's going to go all dramatic on me... ugh, I really won't deal with drama anymore :sick:

I'm happy with my 6/1 and have been for around 5 years or so... it's like coming home to PEACE after being out in the world and being myself. There's something that's way underestimated about how nice that feels :)
 

Azure Flame

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I don't think its my inner 5, I think its my Sx.

When I ask someone, "why do you like that kind of music" and they say "Idunno" it doesn't help conversation very much.
 

Newbyagain

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I don't think its my inner 5, I think its my Sx.

When I ask someone, "why do you like that kind of music" and they say "Idunno" it doesn't help conversation very much.

I see what you were saying. I suspected that's what you meant. Don't you have some youtube videos? Would you mind if I looked at them to get a better idea of you? And yes, I know where you are coming from. I don't feel like I can connect with someone who responds with "sure," " I don't know," "we'll see." I like for someone to say "let's go for a ride," and "I know where you are coming from."
 

Newbyagain

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give me someone colder and less emotional ANY day as opposed to someone who's going to go all dramatic on me... ugh, I really won't deal with drama anymore :sick:

I'm happy with my 6/1 and have been for around 5 years or so... it's like coming home to PEACE after being out in the world and being myself. There's something that's way underestimated about how nice that feels :)


That's interesting to hear that. I almost dated a Six, but I couldn't follow through with it. I felt like he had a lot for me, but mostly I wouldn't be able to grow much from him. I don't think I could have fallen head over heals, intense love.
 

Azure Flame

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I see what you were saying. I suspected that's what you meant. Don't you have some youtube videos? Would you mind if I looked at them to get a better idea of you? And yes, I know where you are coming from. I don't feel like I can connect with someone who responds with "sure," " I don't know," "we'll see." I like for someone to say "let's go for a ride," and "I know where you are coming from."

check out EJArendee on youtube.
 

Entropic

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Thus far, some of my closest relationships (friends or otherwise) have been with 5s, 7s, 8s and 1s. Socionics intertype also seems to play a large role here. The biggest attraction factor thus is easily Fi though.
 

Amargith

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I feel that way about 8s and to lesser extend 3's. The cut throat drive both have is something I lack and admire. Meanwhile they seem to like me smoothing their edges with others.

That same cut throat drive is often accompanied by an intensely brutal honesty which is a breath of fresh air to me. It gives me permission to be off the diplomacy clock, let the reigns out a bit and match them on a level playing field. If everything goes well, firework usually ensues.
 

Newbyagain

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I feel that way about 8s and to lesser extend 3's. The cut throat drive both have is something I lack and admire. Meanwhile they seem to like me smoothing their edges with others.

That same cut throat drive is often accompanied by an intensely brutal honesty which is a breath of fresh air to me. It gives me permission to be off the diplomacy clock, let the reigns out a bit and match them on a level playing field. If everything goes well, firework usually ensues.

I felt that way about a 3-8-7, and I thought it was the Three in him. I later realized that I don't feel that way about other Threes; it's only been when they have Eight in them. It would be kind of dry otherwise. Eight as their first type, especially if they are an extrovert, can be a little overwhelming for me. I don't get intimidated that easily but that combo can do it to me.
 

Amargith

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I felt that way about a 3-8-7, and I thought it was the Three in him. I later realized that I don't feel that way about other Threes; it's only been when they have Eight in them. It would be kind of dry otherwise. Eight as their first type, especially if they are an extrovert, can be a little overwhelming for me. I don't get intimidated that easily but that combo can do it to me.

I have a 3-5-8 at home and I concur. I like the 8 first as well, though that is a lot more in your face, agreed. Personally, I relish a challenge like that, though I'll admit that I'm not sure how sustainable that kind of combustable personality would be long-term with me. In another life, I would love to find out :smile:
 

Azure Flame

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I need an unstable relationship and a sparring partner. But that's just because I'm an ESTP. If you find an E8 ESTJ, they'll be much more committed to settling down.
 

violet_crown

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From my post in this thread:

I think there are three categories for me.

The first is guys that hold no interest for me whatsoever. That covers 2s and 5s.

The second is guys who I like the idea of, but for whatever reason couldn't actually take the plunge with (aka 1s, 7s and 8s).

Then the third category is that of men that actually tend to draw me. The majority of them have been along the 3,6,9 triangle. My most significant relationships have been with those three types, and I will probably continue to bounce along it until I end up married to one.

4s are in a special category of individuals who I find myself elementally attracted to, but have never seemed to be able to make it work with romantically. That said, I wouldn't be opposed to a couple of more go rounds with that particular type. :)
 

Newbyagain

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I have a 3-5-8 at home and I concur. I like the 8 first as well, though that is a lot more in your face, agreed. Personally, I relish a challenge like that, though I'll admit that I'm not sure how sustainable that kind of combustable personality would be long-term with me. In another life, I would love to find out :smile:


I crave the combustion. :shrug:

And what is a reputation comment or something like that? Sorry to ask here, but I have trouble figuring this out.
 

Zarathustra

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I know regardless of what people say there is one answer to this. I know my whole life I have always walked around saying I only want a man with a temper. It wasn't until I got older that I realized this was an Enneagram 8. I have this amazing chemistry with them. I feel like when we meet, I have met my match; the missing part of me is complete. So I am wondering if this makes me Eight-ish or Nine-ish, maybe even One-ish? I know there is one answer to this question because it's such a mutual chemistry. Which type do you feel this with?

I know in the compatibility charts, it seems like the Eight and Nine have a good chemistry the way it is described, but that doesn't quite make sense to me, because I would feel like Eights would see them as less passionate. At the same time, I felt like when I am around these Eights, I feel like I bring the softer side of things, yet strength, but the softer side of me may just be because I am an INFJ. I dated this ESTP Eight and we were a match made in Heaven, he was like the doer, protective, provider, and I brought the ideas, imagination, and nurturing to everything, plus I felt strong with him. In some ways I felt like I taught him confidence and strength though, I could tell he admired it in me.

What is this chemistry I am describing?

I know there are other types that an Eight would like, but I am talking about this feeling of them being my absolute, exact other half. Like we were puzzle pieces who found each other.

There are other types that I could sort of like, but I would never have this full-blown chemistry unless Eight is somewhere in their type. I feel like we are the ultimate power couple together.

In Molina's system, 4s are 4EI and 8s are 8IE.

That means 4s are from the Extrinsic center, and are the Intrinsic manifestation of that center.

Conversely, 8s are from the Instrinsic center, and are the Extrinsic manifestation within that center.

So yes, the two types are very much, in a sense, opposite sides of the same coin.

I think this explains the oft-mentioned chemistry between the two.

***

Other similar pairings:

1s and 5s
2s and 7s

I don't know if similar such chemistry exists between those pairings.

I have heard of 1s and 5s getting along, I think, but not 2s and 7s.

I also guess there's a distinguishing factor for 4s and 8s here, in that they're the only ones who have both the Intrinsic and Extrinsic value dimensions within their makeup -- 1IS and 5SI, and 2ES and 7SE, all have the Systemic paired with either the Intrinsic or Extrinsic -- and I could see the complete opposition of value realms (i.e., Intrinsic vs Extrinsic) creating a more polarized, volatile, combustible dynamic/energy/tension between 4s and 8s than any other pairing.

Which makes sense right?

Cuz when I imagine 8s and 4s, I do imagine, essentially, the stuff of romance novels: sparks, chemistry, insane passion.

And I imagine it more with that pairing than with any other.

(Which, once again, in terms of what I've written on here about sexual polarity [basically just explaining David Deida's {and, by extension, much mythological/religious/spiritual teaching throughout history} teachings], would make sense.)

Sexual chemistry is fueled by masculine-feminine polarity, and, well, 8s are probably the most masculine type, and 4s the most feminine type.

 

Azure Flame

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I want to understand what that means [MENTION=8413]Zarathustra[/MENTION]

impregnate me with your knowledge.
 
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