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[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] Self-Doubt: What is it Like for You?

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
Joined
Mar 9, 2013
Messages
650
MBTI Type
SeFi
Enneagram
4
Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

How do you experience self-doubt?

What causes it?

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

What is self-doubt to you?

What is "self" to you?
 

Galena

Silver and Lead
Joined
Mar 12, 2013
Messages
3,786
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Type: 4

How do you experience self-doubt?
Lowering of trust in my subjective judgments in favor of information taken from objects.

What causes it?
Encountering something in my life that contradicts what I feel inside to be true, something big enough to stick with me. My senses are my authority, but this can go too far and spiral into them becoming an uncontested authority that eclipses me.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
I feel emptier on the inside, treating my inner thoughts and feelings lightly and with contempt. If it's really bad, I will behave in accordance with the "evidence" that set me off in the first place, even if it's the opposite of how I want to. I research OBSESSIVELY when something bothers me, taking key facts uncovered at face value, and if these facts contradict one another, try to remedy that by finding more facts that could tie the contradictory bits together. Included in "research" is over-absorption in and picking apart of the physical details of what I observe or remember. This is futile, of course. No amount of information, no golden truth, will satisfy me short of some kind of impossible physical litmus test. For example, if only there were a blood test to determine whether someone is a good person/is making the right career choice/is ready for a relationship...I waste time this way. Disappearing into an info hoard.

What is self-doubt to you?
Pretty literal, as described above: doubt of self. Elevation of one's objective perceptions to unreasonable heights above my subjectivity.

What is "self" to you?
Behaviors, mainly. Not completely, but they have veto power over the other aspects when it comes to communicating who one is.
 

Chiharu

New member
Joined
Feb 22, 2011
Messages
662
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ENFP, 4w3, 4-7-8, sx/so

For me, it's sort of second guessing every conviction I have or judgement I pass on other people (which can be a good thing), but also questions my motives and character and thinking harsh things about myself. It happens all the time, automatically, so I don' think there's really a "cause". I would define "self" as one's motives and emotions.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How do you experience self-doubt?
As not being good enough, usually.

Being embarrassed of myself. Feeling like my "true" self would be rejected, so I have to keep it hidden. Lack of belief in my own value & significance as a person, I guess.

What causes it?
Sometimes it seems to come out of nowhere. But it's often due to a comparison of myself with someone else or an ideal I have. I also can carry a sureness of being unlikeable or misunderstood or just judged negatively, which is probably some projection of my own self-criticism.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
I feel....bad. I feel like unlikable, foolish, a loser, etc.

On the outside I apparently seem moody, irritable, & aloof. Instead of thinking I'm insecure, people may think I'm a snob or just grouchy all the time. I think it's some self-defense mechanism to appear to reject people or not care before they can get close enough to reject me (because I'm not "good enough").

What is self-doubt to you?
Not believing in my ability to do what I need to do to be who I want to be.

What is "self" to you?
Inwardly, myself is some unrealized ideal that feels repressed by reality or that I don't even know how to manifest in reality. Outwardly, I don't have a very solid sense of self so I can feel contrived when interacting with people, as if I'm straining to give a clear picture of "me". When people have impressions of me contrary to this image I think I've been cultivating, then it can throw me. I worry about being a fraud sometimes, like my self-view is delusional, so I can also go into overdrive to expose myself, to put all the warts on display.
 

greenfairy

philosopher wood nymph
Joined
May 25, 2012
Messages
4,024
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
XNTP, don't know e-type

Good questions.
How do you experience self-doubt?
That little something which makes me afraid of things and avoid things, nervous when I talk, or procrastinate. In short my self sabotaging behavior which I usually only become aware of after it's already bad in a situation. In social interaction and relationships my tendency to be overly accommodating and paranoid.
What causes it?
I don't know. Fear of failure and fear of success at the same time? Fear of making people angry and fear of conflict I know is some of it. Also I fear being intimidating and overbearing. So fear. Also some of what OrangeAppled said, about being unlikeable and judged negatively.
What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
Hm...usually nothing I'm aware of, which is the problem. A sense of timidity and anxiety probably, a little bit empty in my solar plexus chakra, tension in my heart chakra.

Nervousness.
What is self-doubt to you?
Not going after what I want.
What is "self" to you?
Good question. I don't really know. I think I'm a point of view, and a collection of reflections.
 

Flatlander

Fair and Square
Joined
Mar 19, 2012
Messages
124
MBTI Type
iNtj
Enneagram
582
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
XNTP, don't know e-type

Good questions.
How do you experience self-doubt?
That little something which makes me afraid of things and avoid things, nervous when I talk, or procrastinate. In short my self sabotaging behavior which I usually only become aware of after it's already bad in a situation. In social interaction and relationships my tendency to be overly accommodating and paranoid.
What causes it?
I don't know. Fear of failure and fear of success at the same time? Fear of making people angry and fear of conflict I know is some of it. Also I fear being intimidating and overbearing. So fear. Also some of what OrangeAppled said, about being unlikeable and judged negatively.
What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
Hm...usually nothing I'm aware of, which is the problem. A sense of timidity and anxiety probably, a little bit empty in my solar plexus chakra, tension in my heart chakra.

Nervousness.
What is self-doubt to you?
Not going after what I want.
What is "self" to you?
Good question. I don't really know. I think I'm a point of view, and a collection of reflections.

I might posit type 9 for you based on just this; it'd be worth looking into the attachment triad (9, 6, 3) as a possible starting point. Type 9 integrates to 3 and disintegrates to 6; as a preliminary explanation, what that means is that in its better states it reconnects with the positive aspects of 3 in itself, and in its worse states it dissociates from its stable center and takes on some of the negative qualities of type 6. I can explain it to you more at a later point if you're interested, or point you to resources you can use, just gotta do it when I'm not tired/busy.
 

greenfairy

philosopher wood nymph
Joined
May 25, 2012
Messages
4,024
MBTI Type
iNfj
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I might posit type 9 for you based on just this; it'd be worth looking into the attachment triad (9, 6, 3) as a possible starting point. Type 9 integrates to 3 and disintegrates to 6; as a preliminary explanation, what that means is that in its better states it reconnects with the positive aspects of 3 in itself, and in its worse states it dissociates from its stable center and takes on some of the negative qualities of type 6. I can explain it to you more at a later point if you're interested, or point you to resources you can use, just gotta do it when I'm not tired/busy.
Thanks. A lot of other people have said 9 as well. I'm waiting until school is over to thoroughly research it. The 9-3-6 thing fits, except that when I'm overly concerned with 3-ish things it's usually counter-productive in some way, because I'm not loving myself independent of achievement and approval from others.
 
G

garbage

Guest
ENFJ, 3w4, 361.

I expect myself to win/accomplish and sometimes get disappointed and frustrated when I don't. The greater that expectation and the easier I think the problem ought to have been, the more I'm let down and the more self-doubt manifests.

So, self-doubt--the notion that I cannot perform--comes after the fact rather than before it.

Only my closest confidants will hear about it, and only because feeling-sharing is therapeutic and establishes trust. I'm cool and collected when it happens; I'm not exactly the type to wear my heart on my sleeve or to throw chairs across the room when I don't get my way.

Obvious E3 answers, right? :happy2:
 

Guy V. Malaxia

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2011
Messages
70
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
3w4
Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

INFJ 3w4 sp/sx (I think)

How do you experience self-doubt?

Self-defeating thoughts, overall depressed mood, etc.

What causes it?

Failure of some kind, whether that be performing poorly in school, not living up to relationship expectations, disappointing someone, etc.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

Apathy. I begin to doubt why it all matters and why I'm even trying.

What is "self" to you?

I feel like this question is too abstract for me to give a meaningful, coherent response.
 

small.wonder

So she did.
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
965
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

4w5 INFJ

How do you experience self-doubt?

Over analysis of my daily actions, and essentially beating myself up over every verbal slip up and door run into. I also experience self doubt largely in social settings. An example of this is my tendancy to not acknowledging people I'm aquainted w/ because I irrationally fear that they won't remember me ("who are you again?"), or will perceive me as needy. I don't have this issue at all with people I know well, or total strangers-- just the in-betweeners.

What causes it?

Having been needy and horribbly unhealthy in the past, the thought of being, or being seen that way again makes me cringe. Also need for control to some extent.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

I feel frozen by fear (or maybe anxiety) and I usually look elsewhere and pre-occupy myself (all of this feels like auto pilot in the moment). I've been told by people who I'm now friends with, that they once perceived me as very cold and even arrogant before they got to know me-- HA! I'm just terrified people!

What is self-doubt to you?

Lack of self-grace.


What is "self" to you?

Who I have become in this life, including not only the joys but also the scars and messy collaged parts.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
6w7 629 sx/so ENFP

My self-doubt manifests as questioning my ability to make good decisions for myself. It's rooted in fear that I will make a bad decision that will have long-lasting negative effects in my life. Inside, I feel like I don't have any grounding, like I'm torn one way and then the other, and like I'm awash in a sea of information without any good direction posts. Outside, I express ambiguity, and I lean one way and then the other without ever committing. I procrastinate until either a choice is made for me or the opportunity is gone.

Self-doubt is not trusting myself to be competent at creating a good life for myself. "Self" is the part of me that idealizes and thinks that it knows what will make me happy, but is not always right! Leaning on my Fi sense of what is important and meaningful, as well as what I am drawn to, is usually the best way for me to make a decision. I also have to just take a leap of faith and trust that I can make the best of whatever I choose.
 

Asterism

New member
Joined
Jul 10, 2012
Messages
33
MBTI Type
IxxJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Type 4w5 sp/sx, Ni-dominant. The jury is still out on which one.

How do you experience self-doubt?

A crippling sense of defectiveness and inferiority.

What causes it?

Sometimes it comes out of nowhere, but often when I examine the progress and results of my life, or what I've done so far, and find it lacking. There's an idealized self-generated image of me that I'm always striving to become, and falling short of that is the usual trigger for self-doubt.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

Intense self-hatred, followed by a feeling of hollowness or emptiness, and like I'm blurring around the edges. On the outside, I'll either be intensely moody (more than usual) or I'll show nothing. Flattened affect and, so I've been told, a "drifting" quality. It's like I try to disappear, and I've noticed it's during these periods that my interpersonal relationships become most tumultuous, as I look for reasons to nigh-literally vanish from my friends' lives.

What is self-doubt to you?

When I feel incapable of doing or being what I want due to some kind of core deficiency that isn't easily fixed (or can't be fixed) or compensated for. It's something I've always struggled with.

What is "self" to you?

Merely what defines me, apart from others and our contexts. What stays the same even when everything else changes.

I think that I have a rather unstable identity, but I've always maintained a consistent awareness of "self." At the core of my being, there is something fixed and unyielding. Unfortunately, I have a lot of problems manifesting that in reality (hence the unstable identity; I'm defining that as the sum of self that I present to others) and I often feel fake and contrived and "forced," since it's so difficult to show something so abstract on the outside and present it in a way that the message is clear. I vasillate between wanting others to get the message and coding it so that they don't because I've yet to deem them worthy of knowing me that intimately.
 

Ahmodty

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2018
Messages
2
Enneagram
6w7
Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)
6w7 and sometimes 6w5

How do you experience self-doubt?
when I have am talking to someone, about a social challenge that I experience before and fail, which is going to come again .. and now the challenge coming back .. in my self I say I will not fail, but I am not sure (self-doubt) .. and moreover after the conversation I can start hurting my self and have chaos about the past

What causes it?
usually uncontrolled social experiences

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
inside, I feel, I want to avoid my self
outside, I start to ignore or hurt my self, hardly I try to get in touch with my self, but fail

What is self-doubt to you?
showing certain, but inside I feel worry and don't trust I will pass it

What is "self" to you?
something open, located between my chest and my abdomen, it gives me ego when I succeed, and it shrinks usually because I like to deny my self
 

Ahmodty

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2018
Messages
2
Enneagram
6w7
Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)
6w7

How do you experience self-doubt?
usually when I face a social challenge, and then I shall face this challenge soon, I will say that I can do it, but I fell like I'm not sure .. sometimes I will surrender to do the same mistake and I know it is wrong .. or sometimes I will go in meditation but without serious action, just go with the flow

What causes it?
usually social situations

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
Inside: I feel I'm not sure
Outside: I will pretend I can, or I will just surrender .. I usually start hurting my self, over exert on my self

What is self-doubt to you?
not sure I can do it, afraid from past experience and failure


What is "self" to you?
something "open" between my chest and my abdomen
 

Maou

Mythos
Joined
Jun 20, 2018
Messages
6,117
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

How do you experience self-doubt?

What causes it?

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

What is self-doubt to you?

What is "self" to you?

~~~~~~~

5w4 INTJ

I am not quite sure. I either know if I can, or cannot do something. So its probably the inability to imagine what I am going to do, before I do it. Or if its a physical task, Ill rationalize the risks and talk myself out of it.

Lack of knowledge and familiarity

I usually feel tense, or gripped with anxiety. Im not sure anyone notces when Im like that because I dont usually express emotions.

Self-doubt is simply the result of not being good enough yet.

The self is my consciousness. I do not consider my body me, but more like my vessel to experience the world.
 
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