[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] Self-Doubt: What is it Like for You?

[Animal]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

How do you experience self-doubt?

What causes it?

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

What is self-doubt to you?

What is "self" to you?

 

[Ism]

I don't think this quite hits the nail on what you're trying to get at, but there's a lot of self-doubt involved in the following story (it's also ADORABLE):

http://imgur.com/gallery/uruzZ

which I can relate to. And I'm a 9/INTP, so maybe that counts for something.

 

[violet_crown]

I'm ENTJ 8w9. Doubt manifests in me as a kind of bouncing between extremes. I'll be all for something one instance, then do an abrupt course correction for reasons that only make sense to me. I never lose the forward motion, but my behavior becomes increasingly erratic. To that extent, I don't really "doubt" so much as "second guess" in rapid succession. Equally confident of one conclusion and then another until I just run out of steam.

 

[gromit]

When I was younger, I feel like i used to doubt my own worth a lot more.

Just recently I've been in the process of a life transition. Changing career, moving across the country for grad program, saying goodbye to everyone I care about. I was feeling really at peace with this, self-assured and proud of myself for doing something so bold like that, but right now I'm doubting a little bit if I am making a mistake.

But even if there is a lot of bad stuff I didn't anticipate, most decisions aren't so permanent or you can change course again.... so I'm sure it will be fine.

 

[Nicki]

I'm a 3w4 and I nearly never experience self-doubt but when I do, it's always detached. I try to look at myself from a stranger's perspective regarding my negative qualities and what might keep me from reaching success. My worth relies on my skill set, talents, etc. I never really show who I am on the outside. I'm always projecting some image and I only know the real me. That's the way I like it.

 

[EJCC]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

1w2/7w6/3w4 ESTJ.

How do you experience self-doubt?

What causes it?

I tend to be certain by default, because it's easier to operate that way, and I try not to spend too much time regretting things because unless I can actually change that past mistake, then there's no point. (Of course, I do regret things, a lot, when I'm in INFP/4 shadow mode. But I digress.) However, when precedent shows that I shouldn't be certain*, then I start to doubt myself. So, for me, self-doubt comes with lack of confidence, and both of those things are rare, which means I'm not as good at dealing with them, or understanding them, as other people are.

*i.e. if I've lost faith in my own abilities and/or judgment, generally because either a. I've failed something similar, or b. I've recently done something, thought I did well, and then was told that I did not do well.

What do you feel inside?

Fear. A very childish kind of fear, not an educated, adult fear. Straight from the gut.

What do you do or show on the outside?

What I do: Try my best to push my self-doubt aside and get the job done in spite of it. Of course, I may waste time, in there, i.e. delay the task, or I may seriously consider giving up, but inevitably I keep moving.

What I show: Nothing. Hopefully. Not unless I tell someone about it. And when I do, I tend to pretty much look like I'm in control of the situation (even if I'm not). Only if the self-doubt is very severe, will I appear differently, and then I'll look and sound much more subdued. Deflated, I guess, would be a good word for it.

What is self-doubt to you?

Doubting my abilities, and my competence.

What is "self" to you?

I tend to subscribe to the you-are-what-you-do school of thought. Doesn't matter if you feel like a good person, if you never act on it. Although my Fi (and probably my 3w4) gives me this slightly pretentious sense of something Special deep down, it's very easy for that Special something to be invalidated by external failures, as I do measure my self by my abilities and accomplishments. Doesn't make for the best self-care.

 

[WALMART]

Once I psyched myself out going down a steep grade on some trails, locked up the front brake and ate dirt.

My self-doubts are fleeting; I metabolize feelings well and adapt accordingly. I frequently see opportunity for growth in moving forward so I am quick to act on my emotions. There is always a second voice narrating everything I do - developing contingencies, analyzing scenarios - but my conscious effort in life is to strengthen my normal mind.

I am me, the culmination of all actions taken, forgone, and perceived.

 

[Fidelia]

1w2 so/sx, INFJ

I don't really know if I experience a lot of self-doubt. I think I'm kind of thoughtful and preventative by nature, so by the time I take action, I'm generally pretty okay with what I'm doing.

I suppose there have been a couple of times when I have gone through serious self-doubt after a devastating experience that shook my confidence. While it is still raw, I tend to be really avoidant and the problem just grows bigger and more insurmountable in my head and I don't want to even look at anything that reminds me of the problem. In those cases I guess I can also become more self-indulgent as a way to deal with the anxiety I feel - sleeping more, staying up too late watching mindless stuff, buying junk food, or reading dumb fluffy magazines, none of which I would normally do habitually. When I become more emotionally distanced from the situation, then I am able to take action. The hard part is that I don't know how to expedite that process or how long it is going to take.

The other time that I suppose I experience self-doubt is when I get certain gut feelings and yet am getting conflicting information from the person in question. Until I have solid evidence, I have in the past had a tendancy to be unsure whether I am making a deal out of something that isn't, if I am oversensitive, tired, unreasonable, oversuspicious or something else. I think now I trust my gut more and have learned to watch people's behaviour rather than listening to what they say.

If I'm not sure how to approach a task, I tend to just wait until things sort of all come together. I think it's a Ni thing and it seems to take awhile to see a difficult problem in an integrated way. When it happens though, then the course of action seems to come clear. Again, it's frustrating to not be sure how long that will take, although I think when there are deadlines I can meet them. It just isn't always with a lot of extra margin of time.

 

[Animal]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)
8wX, 4w3, 5w6. Ne-F

How do you experience self-doubt?
More often than not, in retrospect. "Why the F did I do X when I could have done Y and gotten a better result?" ...

If I experience self-doubt before doing something, it can be very visceral, and I recognize it physically. For instance, I'm about to tell a guy that I like him and I feel nauseous. I am about to go on stage and sing lead with a sore throat, and I'm nauseous and my hands are shaking. It's usually handled by taking a deep breath and doing the thing regardless.

What causes it?
Things don't turn out the way I wanted. Or things aren't moving forward.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
I feel out of control, and angry at myself. I'm pretty sure this shows on the outside, though I wouldn't know. When I feel that way, I tend to lock myself in my room and isolate myself, trying to figure out what went wrong; or take a lot of long walks & gym visits with headphones & rage music.

What is self-doubt to you?
It's not knowing whether I am capable of accomplishing my goals (my purpose)... losing that passion that usually drives me to move forward, because I'm not sure if the goal is pragmatic, if I have the wherewithal or the resources or enough health. Usually, a little bit of isolation, stepping back and thinking will give me a new plan and I'll return to my passions with full force; but in very rare, traumatizing situations, it takes a bit longer to feel that 'drive' and confidence again.

What is "self" to you?
Passion & purpose.

 

[Azure Flame]

friend: Hey DJ want to go climb the side of this building with me?
Me: Um. I don't have any medical insurance yet, I don't think this is a good idea.

Friend: Dude go pick up that girl
Me: Um, I've never successfully picked up a girl at a club. What makes you think its going to work now?
Friend: Dude you just gotta be chill.
Me: I'm chill at hell
Friend: Well then you gotta be suave
Me: I'm not suave at all!
Friend: Go buy her a drink and put your hand on her back?
Me: then what?
Friend: then just start talking about the music.
Me: I don't know anything about music. how bout I start a conversation with her about sports
Friend: Dude this is a club, wtf are you trying to do?
Me: Idunno, pick her up?
Friend: That'll never work!
Me:

 

[Ene]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)How do you experience self-doubt?

Enneagram--5w4
MBTI/JCF--most likely--INFJ.

How do I experience self-doubt? I rarely do, because I don't put that much weight on most things. Most things aren't worth doubting myself over or putting myself through any type of mental anguish. I weigh things in the balance. If it's something that matters, really matters, like earth-shattering stuff, then yes, there is the possibility of self-doubt. But even then, it's only because I put the focus on me. It manifests itself as butterflies, jitters and general hyperness.

What causes it? If I focus on myself when I realize that I have to do something huge that is out of my comfort zone, for which I am ill-prepared or something that I deem to be unbearable drudgery, I will experience self-doubt. I think self-doubt, for me, is when I allow my 'false' ego to rise to the surface. When I remember that it isn't about me, that the world is a lot bigger than the feelings of one person, that the true needs of the many outweigh the wants/feelings of the one, then there's not much room for self-doubt.

What do you feel inside? Jumpy, like a racehorse waiting for the gate to open or like there are a million live grasshoppers in my stomach.

What do you do or show on the outside? Voice quivers. Hands/legs shake. Sometimes I just get quiet and pensive.

What is self-doubt to you? Feeling ill-equiped to accomplish a task or deal with a situation that is of some sort of cosmic/eternal and earth-shattering consequence. (asking somebody out does not fall into that category for me, deciding whether or not to pull the plug on a brain-dead parent does.).

What is "self" to you? Self is my eternal persona, housed in this temporal shell and if a thing isn't going to make a huge difference in my life or someone else's I never sweat it. If it isn't going to be remembered five years down the road, I don't sweat it. I remind myself that I have nothing to prove, nothing to loose.

 

[RaptorWizard]

It stimulates growth and development, to question things and come to novel conclusions previously nonexistent. If we get stuck in a box of thinking we are always right, then we become stagnant and don;t move into greater developments.

 

[mintleaf]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it.

9w1 5w6 2w3
*I don't fully understand the connection between MBTI and JCF. I'm an INFP according to MBTI, but based on Jung's Psychological Types, I'm probably Ne-Fi.

How do you experience self-doubt?

I want to curl up in a ball and apologize to everyone who's ever had to deal with me. I feel like I need to shed my skin - purge myself of stagnancy and incompetence - and try again. That I need to get myself enthused about something larger than myself so that I can take the focus off my failure. It's weird how humility can function in a kind of selfish way - i.e. "I don't matter, so I don't have to worry as much about the quality of my contributions."

What causes it?

Specifically? I'm most upset by social failures and intellectual failures, so examples would be
1. not getting positive/conclusive response in a social context; not feeling helpful, wanted or understood
2. not being able to explain something as precisely as I'd like
3. struggling to grasp a concept
4. inability to affect social atmosphere for the better

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

Just guilty and uncomfortable in my own skin. I don't think I express self-doubt too often. The feeling itself motivates me to gain control; if I don't feel it, I at least want to act like I do. Although I can remember a few times where self-doubt made me feel and appear warmer and more vulnerable. And then there are times when I just make light of it.

What is self-doubt to you?

A sense that I'm limited by my faults. It reminds me of claustrophobia; I know my potential/ideal self is fuller than what I am at the moment, but it's constantly being compressed by my current capabilities. Self-doubt is a reminder to break down the walls and expand.

What is "self" to you?

 

[Azure Flame]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

ESTP 8w9 sx/so

How do you experience self-doubt?

when I'm asked to do something I have little to no experience with and am expected to perform highly.

What causes it?

see above

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

Inside I feel logically aware that I can't do it, or if I try, it not going to work out.

What is self-doubt to you?

Feeling like you can't do something or perform according to other's expectations.

What is "self" to you?

my actions, dreams and life decisions are a manifestation of who I am, but who I am isn't easy for me to put to words without blindly using typology.

When asked to describe myself I used to always tell people, "I'm nice, funny, and adventurous." The end.

 

[Kasper]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)

9w8, 7w8, 4w3 So/Sx ENTP Ne-Ti

How do you experience self-doubt?

Second guessing my needs/wants/value.

What causes it?

There is an element that is always there, it's separate from confidence for me. When it's caused by external factors it's someone giving a POV that clashes with my stance in a way that has merit and seems more valid than my own POV, or something that looks like rejection/disconnection from someone I care about, when it comes from an internal place it's when I'm stressed/disintegrating and E6-like qualities come out questioning what I thought I knew, doubting my own thoughts and value.

What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?

Inside it can be anything from depressed feelings or anger to extra questioning from introspection trying to work through it. Outwardly I show little, however I will tend to question more, especially if my source of self doubt is my value according to another person, I'll try to test their reactions to seek validation.

What is self-doubt to you?

Second guessing myself, or seeing no self value.

What is "self" to you?

My internal being.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Please specify your enneagram type, and also MBTI/JCF and tritype if you know it. =)
I don't really know my enneagram type. I'm extremely sceptical about the system. My most probable type is 8w7.
How do you experience self-doubt?
I think I'm no good in terms of society's expectations thought of in the long term. That is, I will never be someone who rules many people.. I will never be someone who makes the perfect theorem that many people will follow.. etc
What causes it?
Comparing my situation to the "norm" or "optimum".
What do you feel inside? What do you do or show on the outside?
Inside, I feel sadness. Outside, not anything immediately. On the long term, I show that I don't appreciate myself that much.

What is self-doubt to you?
Questioning if one self is adequate.
What is "self" to you?
The whole that comprises my parts, that is, me. Psyche, ideas. The unique things that are me. Mostly, ideas, considerations, ponderings.

p.s. I think I have a "loose" self as opposed to "firm" self atm, if I consider my cultural aspects and how I relate to them. If I consider how my "self" relates to some arbitary fixed point, then I'd have to say my self is very stabile.

Hope this helped.
-S