[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] Experience of integration

[Flatlander]

I'm curious about the 1 integration pattern. How do you experience 7 in yourself? What is it like, how does your mindset and life change? Is it always positive?

 

[EJCC]

Oh boy! My 7 is all over the place.

Of course, I have 7 in my tritype, as well, so I probably experience more 7 than your average 1. (I've also been told that I'm "ridiculously integrated", to the point of almost seeming like a 7w6 when I'm in a good mood.) Nonetheless, here are some ways I experience 7-ness:

Good:
- I love new things, new experiences, new/fun activities, and I love seeking them out.
- I try to live by the philosophy that I'll never regret doing new things, but I'll only regret avoiding opportunities. As such, I am generally -- within limits! -- up for an adventure, when one is presented to me.
- I exude So Much Enthusiasm about things I'm interested in, and I'd like to think that that's a mood boost for people who witness the enthusiasm.

Bad:
- My instinct is always to avoid stuff that I don't want to do. So I tend to not be as productive as I'd like to be, when I'm faced with a big project that intimidates or frustrates me. I also instinctively want to avoid stressful emails and other duties, in the hopes that they'll go away. It's a constant fight to NOT do that, and it's a fight I don't always win.
- I tend to take on too many responsibilities, because I don't like saying no to interesting/fun opportunities, and I naively think that I can get all the work done too, "no problem".

 

[mintleaf]

Once I accept that many of my standards are impossibly high and unfounded, I'm able to appreciate life for what it is. I can't describe what a relief it is to realize beauty in what I'd thought were imperfections. I get such a high. Everything that once seemed flawed or mundane is just sublime, and I want to experience it all.

I guess I'm talking about extreme moments of integration there; euphoria is obviously not a long-term state. During good phases of my life, I'm easily enthused and hard to bore. I appear more like an ExxP than an IxxJ, performing and trying to make sure everyone's having a good time.

I have a lot of interests, but the less healthy I get, the more my scope narrows. It becomes increasingly rare that anything holds my attention for long, because nothing seems worthy of it. It gets incredibly depressing. (The real fun comes in when I start being a perfectionist about my own internal state, always feeling like something is inexplicably "wrong." My mind is absolute hell at this point, as you can imagine. So much weird, senseless paranoia.) Every time I do find myself excited by something, I milk it to death, searching desperately for something that will make me feel as intensely as I used to -- and in this way I become more like a 4 than a 7 or sane 1.

One of my favorite quotes is a line of Leonard Cohen's, "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." This reminder has brought me out of a lot of really dark places.