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Thread: 4's and drama

  1. #21
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    468 sx/sp
    EII None


    People who know me well online, in places where I really feel free to express myself fully, refer to me as dramatic. People who know me in real life don't think of me as dramatic at all. There's a definite difference between what's on the inside (which comes out more in writing) and what's on the outside.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Sanjuro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    478 sx/so
    :-( None


    I fully admit to bouts of rage and melodrama, but this generally tends to be in the form of an outburst rather than a general means of coping with life. I am mercurial, I'll say that much.

    I personally don't go much for the descriptions that make us sound like weepy-wailey things in a constant state of crisis. I think most people (who don't know me) would see me as quiet, soft, polite, calm, rational, and mostly very stoic--I'm great at handling my pain. Those closer to me know about my outbursts and mercurial nature.

    Anyway. My sister also types as a 4, and she's a lot less over-the-top than I can be. She withdraws. I thought she was a 9 till she wound up in the psychiatrist's office for her surging emotions. I would never have guessed this of her--she's universally calm and gentle, even to those close to her. She is not outwardly impassioned. She doesn't create drama.

    So yes, I think 4s can be very stoic outwardly. Some can be dramatic, too. What's more important is what's happening between your ears--the inner drama is far more important to us than whatever parts of that seep out (if any).

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2010


    is it a symptom of an unhealthy 4 when they're super dramatic in your relationship with them from the get go? I'm talking about the whole "living in their fantasy land" thing.

  4. #24
    So she did. small.wonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    4w5 sx/so


    On our 4 "drama"-- not to quote myself, I just don't feel like retyping. The bolded is the point.

    Quote Originally Posted by small.wonder View Post
    There's a description I once read (can't remember where) that referrs to specifically 4w5 as "bloody minded" which I can strongly relate to. I believe it has to do with my loyalty to authenticity, almost to the death. This means if I'm having a crappy day and someone asks me how I am, I will say, "I am having a crappy day". This is where our reputation as "drama queens" comes from, but it's such a falsehood. "Drama" is hyped-up, and just for show. My emotion and reaction are real. If I disagree with someone or find a situation stupid, I will say so. I see this as authentic, yet type 4 often is labeled "complainer" instead of "legit". I resent that, but I digress. This goes both ways of course, as I will *squeeeeee* out of joy if I truly feel it! -^_^- The more I've pursued authenticity (my own and others') the more happiness, and less gloom I've found. I've been blessed to realize that by sharing honestly with others, they feel licensed to be honest too. Sad that they should need to be, but such a beautiful thing none-the-less!

    I will still punch someone if it needs doing though. Kidding...not kidding.
    Find my Enneagram writing here. Also, I'd love for you to take my six question Enneagram surveyEnneagram survey!✨

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