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[Type 4] Type 4 and Competency

Animal

So carnal it's spiritual
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Type 4 is between two competency types: 3 and 5. Regardless of the wing, a type 4 will have influence from both sides. Type 4 also has a direct line to 1, the third competency type.

Type 3 influence might bring a 4 a desire to be identified by their work, while type 5 influence might bring a 4 a very strong thirst for knowledge and understanding as part of their identity. Also, 4's have a direct integration line to 1, which might bring a desire for truth and correctness.

So I am wondering:

How concerned are you with competency?
Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?

Do you edit your posts?
 

EndlessNameless

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This sounds interesting! :)
How concerned are you with competency?
Always full of doubts, wondering, want to know more, but it's extremly important to me.
Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
I sure need to be good at something, but really...how doesn't enjoy it and want it? Everyone needs to be good at something. But it sure gives me my sense of identity, I love music and art and I'd say I can be good at it and it gives some feeling of originality, image.
Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
Sure I want others to know what I am good at!
Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
I don't understand the point of this... why should it be less authentic than? Yes 4s are individualistic, authentic and shy, but this type need external reactions, I'd say most of 4s are introverts who strives for attention, but most of them are too shy to show off, but all things 4s do, they do it to create an image and than get back external reaction...They need it.
Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
eh...who gives a f*ck?
Do you edit your posts?
Yeah I do, but just because my attention is so unstable and I write so fast without thinking and than I read it back and see hundreds of grammar mistakes.
 

Burger King

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Type 3 influence might bring a 4 a desire to be identified by their work, while type 5 influence might bring a 4 a very strong thirst for knowledge and understanding as part of their identity. Also, 4's have a direct integration line to 1, which might bring a desire for truth and correctness.

I've thought about this before, but haven't gone anywhere with it. I type as 4w3. I see 3 influence in that, if I'm honest, I desire to appear attractive, capable, etc etc. Keyword here is appear. So I guess competence here would be to fulfill an ideal image of sorts. I can see 5 influence too! I'm someone who lacks quite a bit in real world experience. Inhibition (i.e. self-consciousness, shame, etc.) causes me to keep a distance and bury myself in information to prepare for the world. I'm someone who googles up the most trivial of things because I don't know how to act, appear, behave, do, in so-and-so situation, situations in which others waltz through no problem.

I know I didn't answer your questions directly. :D
 

Animal

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I know I didn't answer your questions directly. :D

Oh that's okay. I would not expect a 4 to do it any other way, other than his own way. ;)
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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How concerned are you with competency?
It's not at the forefront of my mind but it matters. In reality it's more of a concern about not messing things up, rather than a need to look good - in other words it's about avoiding the appearance of incompetence, than needing to appear competent. But then I'm Social-first 4, so I'm going to be more worried about looking stupid anyway.

Also, sometimes it's just of matter of recognising that I'm bad at something and working hard to compensate for that.

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Sort of. It helps me to be good at something but mostly I'm good at things that have no marketable value; they're not going to get me jobs, make people like me or improve my life significantly. So in that sense I always feel incompetent.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
I would like people to value what I'm good at, yes. I realise I need more praise than many people in order to believe I'm good at something. Mostly though, I don't push for that because it's kinda pathetic to seek it out. I don't, however, do things in order to simply impress people; I do it for myself primarily. I'm not that desperate for approval and I'm too stubborn to change in order to please others. I'm just going to do my own thing and if others appreciate it, that's great.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Yes. I'm very uncomfortable about showing it off. I would worry that I would make others feel less than me or that my accomplishment really isn't that significant/worth/deserving in the scheme of things. I also don't want to be that sad, attention-seeking person.

This could partly be cultural, though, because I come from a very egalitarian society where it's important to appear ordinary and never show off.

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
I am a perfectionist but it's not entirely about authenticity. It's about authenticity in that I want certain things I do/make/create to be exactly what I imagine it should; for it to be true to my ability and to my vision. Even if no one will notice or care, I have to get it right because I know that I would be half-assing it if I didn't - and that's not good enough. However, sometimes it's just a matter of not looking stupid. In that case, it's all about doing the minimal amount to get by.

It really depends on what I'm doing or working on, and whether it's something that is meaningful to me or not.

Do you edit your posts?
Do I edit my posts? :laugh:

Understatement of the century! I proof read and edit each post multiple times (sometimes dozens of times). I worry about explaining myself well and about grammar, punctuation or spelling mistakes. Sometimes I even get a little obsessive and edit it way too much.

And yes, I did edit this post too.
 

Such Irony

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Not a 4 but I may have it in my trifix.

How concerned are you with competency?
Very

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Absolutely. What's the point of existing if you're not competent enough at anything to make a valuable contribution?

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
I want others to know what I'm good at but I'm also shy about self-promoting myself. As a result, people don't always know what I'm capable of.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
No

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
Moderately important but it really depends on the context how important it is. I'm perfectionist about some things and not perfectionist about others. I've never really thought about how it relates to authenticity. If its regarding ethical things, then I suppose it is. If its regarding something more impersonal like how things are organized than no.

Do you edit your posts?
Sometimes. If it affects how someone will interpret it or if I find out I unintentionally made an error of fact or said the opposite of what I intended, I will quickly fix it. If its just a little typo, probably not.
 

Amargith

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How concerned are you with competency?

Concerned enough to be irritated at my lack of it. Which then again frustrates me to no end as it isnt something I want to actively think about,as there are more important things to concern myself with consciously. Still, it can worry me to the point of paralysing me in fear. If someone knows how to turn this damned thing off in my brain, plz lemme know.

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?

I guess so. More that it removes a head ache. It's...kind of expected to be competent. More than that. If I put my time and effort into something, I want it to become special, I want it to be quality, and I want it to be worthy of other peoples attention first before putting it out in the world. In a way, Im my own worst critic, as it means that I feel a lot of shame for substandard stuff. In another way, it also means I can be extremely lazy as I refuse to get off my ass to do just *anything*. It needs to be worth my time.

As [MENTION=5871]Southern Kross[/MENTION] said, however, my skills arent exactly economically viable or marketable so they have their own intrinsic value to me in that way. And that too is sometimes a source of frustration to me, as I was raised to take care of myself and succeed by my parents. Tbh, I'm still fighting them as well as myself in sorting out *what* I should give priority to.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yours

Recognition is part of it, I suppose. It depends, really. If it is something I do to please others, then yes, I'd like others to at least notice it, as the pleasure I derive from doing this comes from them. But that is also because the effect Im seeking to achieve is to see them enjoy what I did. Otherwise, I failed, really. Other things are intrinsically motivated, though a lot of what I do is geared towards helping,entertaining or cheering up others.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?

In a way, yes. If it isn't obviously affecting others,then I failed, so bragging is not exactly the way to go. Drawing attention one time to it with a hint is as far as I'm usually comfortable going with it. I sometimes will point out what Ive tried to do (which I guess can read as bragging) when I feel I've failed in order to gather information as to why I failed, so I can improve next time.

If the result was meant to be subtle, I'm quite content to just have it be oblivious while it still serves its intended purpose. As for bragging, I might list it amidst my successes if the topic comes up in other conversations later on.

Either one of these cases won't stop me from feeling like a fraud however if something I've done or created does NOT live up to my own internal standard yet others seem to oohh and ahh over it, either just to soothe my ego, or in a way, worse, coz they genuinly don't see the flaws (yet).

Is perfection and correctness important to you?

Correctness as in politeness, no. However, I do hold a certain image of what Im trying to achieve in my head that feels 'true'. And, unfortunately, reality has taught me that it is rarely possible to achieve said image in the real world. So that can be utterly frustrating. I'm still in the process of learning to not cling so hard to what I've envisioned and to allow for a bit of creative processing to happen in reality to reshape it and redefine the end result with the means available in the real world, to achieve a new sort of perfection. It still requires me to grieve the loss of the original vision atm though. And it can sap me of my will to proceed, for fear of destroying the ideal forever in my mind.

Is this part of your definition of authenticity?

I'd say so, yes :)

Do you edit your posts?

Yes. My first post tends to be a draft. A rambling of my thoughts. This is especially true in more complex posts, where I'm consolidating a ton of data from both the thread itself and what I want to say. To merge those two together can be tricky. Often, when I reread my post, I'll have additional epiphanies, or things will click and seem clearer, so i'll go over my post to polish it. Additionally, Ti-users on here can be really nitpicky and take your post apart and lose...focus as to what you were trying to converse in the pursuit of their truth, so I've learned to at least *try* and cover my ass on what trips up their Ti :alttongue:

...especially when it comes to a post that is rather complex, in a thread that I find fascinating and want to see continue in order to learn from it.
 

Entropic

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Additionally, Ti-users on here can be really nitpicky and take your post apart and lose...focus as to what you were trying to converse in the pursuit of their truth, so I've learned to at least *try* and cover my ass on what trips up their Ti :alttongue:

Don't worry, I do that as a 5 too ;) Nitpick on someone else's post, that is.
 

Galena

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How concerned are you with competency?
You need it to survive. I am concerned with it because I want to live well, have opportunities, and be noticed positively.

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
Yes, and the reverse: I'm probably not going to commit enough to get good at something if I'm not drawn into it by a sense of purpose or a wish to identify with it.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
Your competence has to be at least a little visible to get the survival benefits out of it in this social world we live in. Yeah, I do want others to know. Also, validation helps confirm that what I thought was competence really is. One can be mistaken, and honestly, getting very identified with your activities as I do can cloud the judgment of one's own work.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
Only if I showed it off more than the accomplishment was worth.

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
Yes. If I am doing something, I care about it and identify with it to some degree, so of course it feels inauthentic not to do well at the things that I consider a part of me. My identification would be unreal if it didn't have the substance of real life performance to fill it in.

Do you edit your posts?
Mainly for typos or language clarity. I won't take back the message of a post, though, and it is awkward when someone else decides to do this. Especially when someone responds to you, but by the time you get there, they've blanked it all out and replaced it with "never mind". aaaaaaaaa. :sorry:
 

BlackCat

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Most 4s are pretty competency focused internally due to the fact that they integrate to 1. Also their wings are both competency types as you have pointed out. Interesting indeed. :)
 

OrangeAppled

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I don't really think in terms of "competency" unless it comes to life in general. I feel kind lacking in whatever is needed to live a full, satisfying existence. I have trouble pinpointing what it is (because it's probably nothing), and so I just sort of carry a sense of deficiency around. I have this the most in the social realm because I tend to feel awkward, unlikeable, & burdensome even.

A part of me feels like I have potential, mainly because that was hammered into my head while growing up, but I don't feel like I have the energy or motivation to pursue it. Daily life just takes so much energy & I require so much down time to just think/meditate that I sort feel stunted at that. Most of my goals are attached to being autonomous, being able to do what I want without expectations, obligations or overseeing eyes.

One of my earliest memories was my sister bragging to a friend that I drew better than her friend's brother, who was older. I was probably about 3 at the time. In school, I got academic & artistic awards & labels like "gifted" as well as special treatment (lots of absences/tardiness overlooked, didn't have to take some tests or was given alternate assignments like "create your own project"). This very likely formed my identity/persona, as well as indulging bad tendencies of mine (poor with structure or discipline to do mundane tasks, feeling separated/different from others). My sense of competency was being the "smart, arty girl", and my incompetency was in the practical & social realms of life. But even as I got older, I questioned my own supposed smarts or talents, because I increasingly did less with them, but without that identity I'd get a nagging sense of "nothing". I feel incompetent to be who I'd like to be, I guess, and/or I feel like the world is not "made" for someone like me, like whatever I "have" is not valued by it.

(As a side: I mentioned at PerC a feeling of having "the wrong currency", like money from another country that's not recognized. Just as when you exchange money, you often have a fee & are left with less, I'll feel like converting who I am to something deemed "valuable" would mean losing myself in a way. I have a knee-jerk reaction to that; I'd rather just sit on my useless money. I think this is related to competency...?)

I didn't have achievement in mind at all as a kid; I was actually quite a slacker in many ways. I remember finishing assigned books ahead of time because I just found them interesting, however nerdy that may be. I spent most of my time when home doing little art projects I came up with, just because an idea would strike me. I wouldn't usually show these to people, but I wasn't extremely secretive either. I don't remember feeling inauthentic or less genuine to receive recognition either... I remember being kind of blase about accepting awards, but also feeling resentment & contempt if someone I saw as less intelligent or talented was acknowledged as equal or better even. So I did have a drive to not be outdone by the overachievers, when I felt I did better with a flick of my wrist (I was quite arrogant in some respects).

As an adult, I don't share much of anything with people because I feel embarrassed, like it's never good enough. I think it could make me feel inauthentic in the sense that it falls short of this ideal I have, and I worry I've projected the ideal & people will expect a lot. I hardly speak of anything I "do" because I don't want to give the wrong impression. I tend to downplay myself in person & find doing the opposite hard (which is why things like job interviews are hard). I admit I hardly can judge myself objectively.... If I compare what I do with anything, then it's always something extraordinary that I don't think I'm smart or talented or even just motivated enough to live up to.

There is definitely a concern for perfection & correctness. I am embarrassed by mistakes & of any shortcomings in what I create. Having other people point it out is terrible, because it confirms the shame I have over "never being good enough". As a kid, I was indignant at being scolded or criticized, because I'd feel like no one was seeing any of my good & like I almost had higher standards than they were even aware existed. I felt "misunderstood". As an adult, I'm less arrogant & also less sensitive. I'm more likely to just downplay so people are pleasantly surprised or so I don't have to expend as much energy.

I do edit my posts if I catch a typo or some other error, but as I write them I also edit/organize (mainly cuz I don't write in order).
 
R

Riva

Guest
Interesting thread and I like the explanation given in the op. The way I imagine e4s is, as overanalytical, depressed people who can even make Gengish Khan cry by simply telling how they feel each morning. The op however changed my perspective about them especially as it opened my eyes as to how competent some/most of them are to whatever they are passionate about. Therefore I'm really interested in following the replies.
 

Galena

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That's cool, Riva!

I don't really think in terms of "competency" unless it comes to life in general.
This is a very good point to bring up, and I know what you mean. While I responded that I care about competency in that one needs it to get by, that's as deep as it gets. Thinking about competency was a learned behavior, painfully learned. I was downplaying something and not opening up fully in parts of my own post, which says something about how I react to this subject. :blush: One of the greatest reasons why I am even here investigating my personality is to break the habit of talking and acting like a person with different "currency".

Thanks for the relatable post and for saying so much.
 

Amargith

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I don't really think in terms of "competency" unless it comes to life in general. I feel kind lacking in whatever is needed to live a full, satisfying existence. I have trouble pinpointing what it is (because it's probably nothing), and so I just sort of carry a sense of deficiency around. I have this the most in the social realm because I tend to feel awkward, unlikeable, & burdensome even.

A part of me feels like I have potential, mainly because that was hammered into my head while growing up, but I don't feel like I have the energy or motivation to pursue it. Daily life just takes so much energy & I require so much down time to just think/meditate that I sort feel stunted at that. Most of my goals are attached to being autonomous, being able to do what I want without expectations, obligations or overseeing eyes.

One of my earliest memories was my sister bragging to a friend that I drew better than her friend's brother, who was older. I was probably about 3 at the time. In school, I got academic & artistic awards & labels like "gifted" as well as special treatment (lots of absences/tardiness overlooked, didn't have to take some tests or was given alternate assignments like "create your own project"). This very likely formed my identity/persona, as well as indulging bad tendencies of mine (poor with structure or discipline to do mundane tasks, feeling separated/different from others). My sense of competency was being the "smart, arty girl", and my incompetency was in the practical & social realms of life. But even as I got older, I questioned my own supposed smarts or talents, because I increasingly did less with them, but without that identity I'd get a nagging sense of "nothing". I feel incompetent to be who I'd like to be, I guess, and/or I feel like the world is not "made" for someone like me, like whatever I "have" is not valued by it.

(As a side: I mentioned at PerC a feeling of having "the wrong currency", like money from another country that's not recognized. Just as when you exchange money, you often have a fee & are left with less, I'll feel like converting who I am to something deemed "valuable" would mean losing myself in a way. I have a knee-jerk reaction to that; I'd rather just sit on my useless money. I think this is related to competency...?)

I didn't have achievement in mind at all as a kid; I was actually quite a slacker in many ways. I remember finishing assigned books ahead of time because I just found them interesting, however nerdy that may be. I spent most of my time when home doing little art projects I came up with, just because an idea would strike me. I wouldn't usually show these to people, but I wasn't extremely secretive either. I don't remember feeling inauthentic or less genuine to receive recognition either... I remember being kind of blase about accepting awards, but also feeling resentment & contempt if someone I saw as less intelligent or talented was acknowledged as equal or better even. So I did have a drive to not be outdone by the overachievers, when I felt I did better with a flick of my wrist (I was quite arrogant in some respects).


As an adult, I don't share much of anything with people because I feel embarrassed, like it's never good enough. I think it could make me feel inauthentic in the sense that it falls short of this ideal I have, and I worry I've projected the ideal & people will expect a lot. I hardly speak of anything I "do" because I don't want to give the wrong impression. I tend to downplay myself in person & find doing the opposite hard (which is why things like job interviews are hard). I admit I hardly can judge myself objectively.... If I compare what I do with anything, then it's always something extraordinary that I don't think I'm smart or talented or even just motivated enough to live up to.

There is definitely a concern for perfection & correctness. I am embarrassed by mistakes & of any shortcomings in what I create. Having other people point it out is terrible, because it confirms the shame I have over "never being good enough". As a kid, I was indignant at being scolded or criticized, because I'd feel like no one was seeing any of my good & like I almost had higher standards than they were even aware existed. I felt "misunderstood". As an adult, I'm less arrogant & also less sensitive. I'm more likely to just downplay so people are pleasantly surprised or so I don't have to expend as much energy.

I do edit my posts if I catch a typo or some other error, but as I write them I also edit/organize (mainly cuz I don't write in order).

I could have written this. I found it hard not to bold just about everything :laugh:

Just change some of the personal anecdotes about art to language in general (verbal skills especially) and music (singing and playing the flute). According to my mom, my father accidentally ensured that my peers in school basically could not understand me by teaching me words and phrases a child my age would never use, causing a rift between me and the other kids I never managed to close since. He meant well, he was quite the purist about our maternal tongue and I took to it well apparently at a young age.

That's cool, Riva!


This is a very good point to bring up, and I know what you mean. While I responded that I care about competency in that one needs it to get by, that's as deep as it gets. Thinking about competency was a learned behavior, painfully learned. I was downplaying something and not opening up fully in parts of my own post, which says something about how I react to this subject. :blush: One of the greatest reasons why I am even here investigating my personality is to break the habit of talking and acting like a person with different "currency".

Thanks for the relatable post and for saying so much.

It is a learned behavior and it is exhausting to have to value it when you really do not want to take it into consideration. It is unfortunately part of reality, however.


...I just came from the Type 8 thread, and somehow the juxtaposition between the descriptions in here about lack of drive and motivation and the over-the-top drive and motivation to the point of not knowing what to do with it just seems hilarious atm :laugh:
 

Amargith

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And another thing about 4 competency:


Does anyone else feel like they aren't entitled to focus on their passions coz they are non-stop trying to figure out, apologise and better themselves in all the things they are *not* good at in order to navigate the world and not disappoint/burden others? I find myself constantly distracted going..well I should really be doing this instead, or fixing this, or dealing with this problem, instead of sitting here playing word games and thinking up fantasy stories...which in turn does not exactly inspire writing something awesome in the first place :doh:

I'm still struggling with picking between what I feel I should be entitled to do (pursue my passions) and what others have called 'facing reality and getting on with it' and somehow I can't..I cant find energy to do both. And I feel ridiculously incompetent in the stuff that people seem to feel I *should* take care of... Oddly, people prefer when I do the first, but bitch when I don't do the second.

Can someone tell me if there is a way out of this catch-22? :doh:
 

Sy_

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I am concerned about competency when it involves something I am passionate about. For example: I wanted to show a side of suffering that I believed other people did not see. And I focused my writing on bringing that out. I also knew that suffering so it had a lot of meaning for me. And I was able to bring a different perspective to something that was typically stereotyped. I expressed that through a poem.

I had the poem published on a site and a year later a woman contacted me and asked if her organization could use that poem in a play. And I consented to that. Two years after that she contacted me again and asked if I would come and watch the play and speak after it was over. And I declined. I just could not do that.
 

OrangeAppled

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And another thing about 4 competency:


Does anyone else feel like they aren't entitled to focus on their passions coz they are non-stop trying to figure out, apologise and better themselves in all the things they are *not* good at in order to navigate the world and not disappoint/burden others? I find myself constantly distracted going..well I should really be doing this instead, or fixing this, or dealing with this problem, instead of sitting here playing word games and thinking up fantasy stories...which in turn does not exactly inspire writing something awesome in the first place :doh:

I'm still struggling with picking between what I feel I should be entitled to do (pursue my passions) and what others have called 'facing reality and getting on with it' and somehow I can't..I cant find energy to do both. And I feel ridiculously incompetent in the stuff that people seem to feel I *should* take care of... Oddly, people prefer when I do the first, but bitch when I don't do the second.

Can someone tell me if there is a way out of this catch-22? :doh:

In terms of the theory I think these are average 1 traits. We burden ourselves with a lot of "shoulds" and beat ourselves up for not meeting them perfectly, which then wears on our confidence & motivation (which feels like lack of energy, I think). When we're integrating we have better discernment on what is really important & what is a realistic standard (more like a healthy 1). I don't really know how to control that...I guess it starts at awareness & making choices about your own thinking & behavior.

I went through a period where I had a sort of mantra of "being nice to myself", being forgiving & supportive in the way I would be to a friend. I think I grew as a person. I've noticeably had an easier time making friends since then. I've given myself permission to say stupid things, run late sometimes (or a LOT, because that's my flaw & it's not any worse than anyone else's), whatever. This helps me stay motivated, because I feel less incompetent when I don't demand perfection of myself. Then the more I DO, the closer I am to who I feel I am internally (or who I WANT to be, I guess), and the more confident I am to keep putting myself out there. That is a positive cycle.

It's easy to fall back into negative cycles though, because 4s tend to notice what is lacking, and having very high standards with nothing ever being perfect means we'll always be let down by the reality of ourselves & the world. The dwelling on the negative makes everything feel meaningless (& this is a 5 influence), and then always being obligated to do meaningless stuff makes you feel that your life is dull, that you're wasting your potential, and that you have no significance. Then you have no motivation to do much of anything, which feels like a physical lack of energy even. This makes you feel increasingly less competent & as you do less you fall farther from your too high ideals.

For me, a more positive cycle can start with: consciously replace negative thoughts with positive ones to "rewire" my thinking habits ----> act on the positive thoughts even if I don't believe them yet (this is hard when you feel it's "fake" because it doesn't align with "how you feel") ----> notice the good & reinforce the action with positive thoughts on the good ----> genuinely feel the good & feel motivation ----> continue.

That is not easy & I always feel like I am tricking myself at first, but once I'm firmly in it, it feels more natural. It's easy for me to lose awareness again & fall back into old habits. The ego fix is like an addiction! :p
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
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oes anyone else feel like they aren't entitled to focus on their passions coz they are non-stop trying to figure out, apologise and better themselves in all the things they are *not* good at in order to navigate the world and not disappoint/burden others?
Well, it has nothing to do with whether I focus on my passions or not, but I do struggle to take credit for what I'm good at when I'm sucky, or just disappointingly mediocre, at so many other (related) things.

It feels like dishonesty.
 

Animal

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Interesting thread and I like the explanation given in the op. The way I imagine e4s is, as overanalytical, depressed people who can even make Gengish Khan cry by simply telling how they feel each morning. The op however changed my perspective about them especially as it opened my eyes as to how competent some/most of them are to whatever they are passionate about. Therefore I'm really interested in following the replies.

Wow, glad it had that effect!

I'm also interested in hearing these replies. Thanks everyone for replying so thoroughly. =D I will respond individually when I have a chance. Keep it coming, 4s =,)
 

small.wonder

So she did.
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Without reading everything that's been said so far (I skimmed), I'd say that competency...or adequacy (same meaning, different feeling) matters more to me than I would like it to. :dry:

How concerned are you with competency adequacy?
It's not my first priority-- authenticity and what I see as "right" come first. Right behind though, adequacy at what I'm interested in or what I'm spending time doing definitely comes into play. Note though, that it's the actual adequacy, really doing whatever it is well, that counts. Not seeming to be competent.

Does it give you a sense of identity or purpose to be good at something?
It contributes to my sense of identity and purpose.

Do you want others to know what you're good at, or do you do it just for yourself?
I think I would like people to know and appreciate what I am good at, but I tend to hide my skills to some extent. I think this is mostly because I hate show offs, but also because I think I fear a negative reaction. Most of the things I am good at, I do out of self expression and so it's a bit precious to me I guess. Too precious and part of me to risk showcasing.

Would an accomplishment feel less authentic or genuine if you showed it off?
I repeat: I hate show offs. There is a difference between showing off and sharing a skill with people though, I do believe it's a fine line. The difference is in the intent and the condition of a person's heart. I know my heart is in the right place to share my skills, but I feel weird and arrogant doing so. A good example would be this: I sing, but the only time people usually hear is during praise + worship at church (that's aside from close friends who hear me sing w/ the radio in the car, etc). I am being a bit challenged in this area of share vs. don't share recently though, as I've considered the possability of selling my artwork. I've done paintings for friends and family who have asked, but to expect strangers to like my work is weird and presumptuious to me. We'll see if I can get over it!

Is perfection and correctness important to you? Is this part of your definition of authenticity?
Ha, perfection!?! No. Authenticity to me is the ability to tell truth (even if it's ugly) without pretenses or ulterior motives. Authenticity is correct, to be correct is to be authentic-- that's how I see it anyway. This is exactly why I hate show offs, they are showcasing their abilities for praise (ulterior motives). So not authentic. :dry:

Do you correct your posts?
Down to the comma, if I notice it. Quite a clever question. In light of my answer to the last question, editing my posts would seem incorrect yes? Hmmm...
 
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