[Other/Multiple Enneatypes] The Heart Triad at its Best

[Cloud of Thunder]

Maybe it's just me, but there doesn't seem to be much love, so to speak, for the Heart types (see the Wimpiest Eneatype thread as one example). Personally, I'm not a big fan of this triad either, but surely there must some good examples of people who are 2's, 3's, or 4's, and also examples of behavior that demonstrates the Heart triad at its best.

I'll name one very obvious example of the Heart triad at its best: Mother Theresa, the quintessential 2w1.

 

[Thalassa]

Hmmm? I tend to hate 8's who lack integration, actually, I don't hate the heart triad at all, though I could see where 2's could get irritating if they were co-dependent or martyr-like.

3's and 4's can be fabulous, I have 4w3 in my tritype, and one of my exes is a 3w2.

Even though I'm a 6w7 I honestly have the hardest time trusting 7s (as well as lower level 8s) ...and wonder if I could ever cope with the self-imposed distance of a 5.

I think you may perceive it this way because you're IN the heart triad?

 

[Phoenix]

Each triad has its strengths and weaknesses and healthy and unhealthy people. I simply use Enneagrams as clues into people's psyche and use it to have better relationships with them - or help other people understand them.

People's health levels etc are variable and therefore each person has to be understood uniquely - or at least that's what I try to do.

E.g. My sister's husband is a very unhealthy ESFJ Type 2 [and emotionally abusive] which doesn't mean all ESFJ 2's are like that. Just him. However, understanding his type has helped me explain his behaviour and try to help in some way to help him integrate a little.

On the flip, my INTJ brother is an 8. One would think the ESFJ Type 2 to be less abusive/controlling, right? Nope -- that's far from the truth. I could easily type my ESFJ Type 2 brother in law as an ESTJ Type 8, but I know better because he's unhealthy, therefore the type he "seems" like isn't his type.

Ironically, my ESFJ Type 2 brother in law is more controlling, manipulative [disintegrated to unhealthy 8] than my INTJ Type 8 brother who's become much more altruistic and loving than most men I've ever known [integrated to Type 2].

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

I think you may perceive it this way because you're IN the heart triad?

No, I'm a 1.

 

[Thalassa]

No, I'm a 1.

Well I've personally never noticed a bias against the heart triad, though everyone has their own petty hatreds, depending on their own personality and life experiences.

As a counterphobic 6, a low level 8 would be my WORST match, because I would constantly fight with them in a way that would wreck me internally and constantly keep me on the defense. In fact I think my worst female enemies on this web site were both E8. Interestingly, though, I know a female 8 I love to death, but she's very integrated to the point she doesn't seem to have any need to prove it, she just IS powerful, so instead I respect her and admire her instead of wanting to constantly fight with her.

Then as an anxious 6, a romantic partner who was a 7 would probably make me horrendously insecure, especially a 7w8.

Finally, the 5 seems awfully emotionally cool to me - especially with a 6 wing instead of a 4 wing - and again ROMANTICALLY I don't know how well I am matched with a 5, unless they were an sx dom 5 with a 4 wing, who made an effort to not make me feel emotionally abandoned.

So my problem with 8s is universal (men and women) but only to lower level 8s; and my issue with 7s and 5s would be more romantic than with people in general.

Other people may hate 3s and find them showy and narcissistic, or whatever. I've also encountered people who have contempt for self-absorbed 4s and extremely relationship focused 2s. I'm not one of those people though.

It really depends on the person.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

Well, be that as it may, I'm looking for good examples of the Heart types. I have another one: Desmond Tutu, another 2w1.

 

[Haven]

It seems like people's experience with 2s is very simplistic. On one hand there are countless stories like this:

Ironically, my ESFJ Type 2 brother in law is more controlling, manipulative [disintegrated to unhealthy 8] than my INTJ Type 8 brother who's become much more altruistic and loving than most men I've ever known [integrated to Type 2].

And on the other hand there's this:

I'll name one very obvious example of the Heart triad at its best: Mother Theresa, the quintessential 2w1.

And there's nothing in between. Judging by what people on this forum have said, 2s can either be Mother Theresa, or manipulative douche bags.

 

[acronach]

*smells controvercy*

2s I (mostly) am a fan of. The martyrdom is annoying, but other than that, they're cool people. In group projects though, 2s are invaluable. They pretty much act as a sponge for everyone's ideas when people start blasting their own opinions and ignoring everyone else, then they just tie it all together into something epic.

3s can be cool, and I am friends with some 3s IRL, but you have to kind of walk on thin ice with them. If anything you say can be twisted around in their mind to remotely signify disrespect from you, you're in trouble.

4s are personally my favorite of the heart types. When they're unhealthy, the ego issues can get mildly annoying, but I find that they're generally easy to talk to. As a general rule though, never ignore anything a 4 has to say when it's about something emotional, even if its small and you don't see any sense in it, take it seriously.

 

[acronach]

[MENTION=13646]Haven[/MENTION]

i've seen both of these IRL lol

 

[Elfboy]

*smells controvercy*
2s I (mostly) am a fan of. The martyrdom is annoying,

true dat. what's worse is the all the expectation that comes with it. I despise expectation placed upon me without my consent

but other than that, they're cool people. In group projects though, 2s are invaluable. They pretty much act as a sponge for everyone's ideas when people start blasting their own opinions and ignoring everyone else, then they just tie it all together into something epic.

this is a good point

3s can be cool, and I am friends with some 3s IRL, but you have to kind of walk on thin ice with them. If anything you say can be twisted around in their mind to remotely signify disrespect from you, you're in trouble.

in that case, you were likely dealing with a 4 or a 6. when you hit a 3's soft spot, you're likely not to notice for awhile. 3s tend to deny when they've been emotionally hurt or rejected (and they tend to be good at it. after all, what would people think if they got defensive? that wouldn't help their image lol). my least favorite thing about 3s is the way they try to one up you and try to make everything a competition, as, 90% of the time, I just want to relax and not compete over things. I tend to dislike 3w2s because they often come across as fake and insincere, but 3w4 is my favorite heart center type because they generally keep their insecurities and emotional volatility to themselves. granted, their internal struggles are just as pathetic as the other eight types (all of the enneagram types are pathetic. this is a fact people studying the enneagram need to understand to fully embrace it's benefits) but as I'm not being inconvenienced by them, they don't bother me.

4s are personally my favorite of the heart types. When they're unhealthy, the ego issues can get mildly annoying, but I find that they're generally easy to talk to. As a general rule though, never ignore anything a 4 has to say when it's about something emotional, even if its small and you don't see any sense in it, take it seriously.

this is why I dislike non integrated 4s. they don't take responsibility for their feelings or the impact it has on other people, instead preferring to put the blame on you or throw a hissy fit when you don't feel the same way about things as you do. I don't mind emotional people as long as they have self control, but when that turns into them getting pissed at me for not feeling the same way about something? uh-uh. you are the weakest link. goodbye

overall, given I don't think my views on the matter are all that rare, I can see the point of this thread (though, I stress again, all the enneagram types are pathetic. they really should call it the reality-bitch-slap-o-gram, because, in my opinion, that's what it's main purpose is lol)

 

[Haven]

Typical 2w3 handling rejection horribly. Jump to 1:03
[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBLaFjV9xTs&feature=player_detailpage#t=64s"]Will Ferrel [/YOUTUBE]

 

[Trunks]

I'm 3w4 = Mood swings and temperamental

 

[Giggly]

I'm 3w4 = Mood swings and temperamental

And what about your best? (this thread is about that )

 

[Trunks]

And what about your best? (this thread is about that )

I never tell.

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

Two of my co-workers are most likely 2w1's. They're very nice people who are prone to the occasional hissy fit. But they're generally cool people.

 

[Elfboy]

Madonna is a 3w4 Sx/So and I think she's friggin awesome

 

[cascadeco]

Well, 2's... I don't personally understand why they're looked at so negatively. They seem very giving, very helpful, more of a coaching element, really looking outside themselves and giving of their time/energy to other people. Not stingy with what they give. Happy to give. I think all of these are very positive traits. I'm thinking more of the teaching/mentoring/coaching/practical care side of things, and really making a difference to other peoples' lives by virtue of giving of their own time/energy/self; I don't automatically go towards forcing help when it's not wanted... as I don't know how common that truly is??

I recognize that there are people who due to their own value system view all of these things in more of a negative light, which is their prerogative, but a lot of the intentions/essence behind a 2 seems very positive/good to me.

I can't speak to 3's as much, but I will say an ex of mine is most likely a 3w2. Is he very status/image conscious, and concerned about how he is viewed by others? Yes, but he's also very good at interacting with people/being respectful of others, and very giving of his time towards things he's invested in and does that coaching/mentor thing as well, guiding other people when they need assistance, and really going above and beyond/excelling at various endeavors.

 

[Orangey]

Well, 2's... I don't personally understand why they're looked at so negatively. They seem very giving, very helpful, more of a coaching element, really looking outside themselves and giving of their time/energy to other people. Not stingy with what they give. Happy to give. I think all of these are very positive traits. I'm thinking more of the teaching/mentoring/coaching/practical care side of things, and really making a difference to other peoples' lives by virtue of giving of their own time/energy/self; I don't automatically go towards forcing help when it's not wanted... as I don't know how common that truly is??

I recognize that there are people who due to their own value system view all of these things in more of a negative light, which is their prerogative, but a lot of the intentions/essence behind a 2 seems very positive/good to me.

I can't speak to 3's as much, but I will say an ex of mine is most likely a 3w2. Is he very status/image conscious, and concerned about how he is viewed by others? Yes, but he's also very good at interacting with people/being respectful of others, and very giving of his time towards things he's invested in and does that coaching/mentor thing as well, guiding other people when they need assistance, and really going above and beyond/excelling at various endeavors.

Agreed. 2s are the least annoying of the heart triad (not that the heart triad is more annoying than others...though, I dunno, 3s and 4s really, really suck.)

 

[Cloud of Thunder]

Agreed. 2s are the least annoying of the heart triad (not that the heart triad is more annoying than others...though, I dunno, 3s and 4s really, really suck.)

Care to explain why?

 

[Elfboy]

Agreed. 2s are the least annoying of the heart triad (not that the heart triad is more annoying than others...though, I dunno, 3s and 4s really, really suck.)

I honestly think all of the enneagram types are pathetic (including my own, 7s are some pitifully lazy sorry asses sometimes lol) but, honestly, I'd say the heart center in general takes the cake over the head or gut.