[Type 6] 6s Not Quickly Figuring Out Their Type

[sonickel77]

I was typed as a 4 by my music teacher at 17; initially I thought I was a 5.
I still think I have 4 strong in my tritype, as well as sexual instinct. Being seen by a lover as not special enough to be loved is really traumatic for me.
What got in the way of accurate typing is my strong history of childhood trauma. I had a session with Katherine Chernick-Fauvre yesterday. Initially she saw me as a definite 4w5 sp/sx. But when I started talking about other things than my trauma, i.e. the need to be a part of a group, my anarchist leanings, she suggested I look into type 6w5.

Many aspects of 6w5 fit - despite going towards a creative field (film making), it's the camera department that appeals to me most, with its rugged "are you tough enough for this job" mentality, the camaraderie, and attention to technical detail. Also, turning towards people on Facebook for support, my outspoken political leanings, fury at injustice, loyalty towards family and friends despite being mistreated by them. A desire to withdraw into my home as a sanctuary. Researching conspiracy theories for years, and fretting about near term human extinction and economic collapse.

I really don't want to be 6w5 though, it's not special enough!!!!

 

[Ambrose]

I get a little confused by my type, to the point where it bothers me enough to worry about it. I feel like emotionally I am a solid four, I tend to live in my imagination, have even created a whole persona in a fantasy world that exists only in my head, tend to keep to myself in crowds, but have the need to be "discovered" and yet I also have a lot of anxiety like a 6 and tend to think a lot about how to deal with it and sometimes act counter-phobic in order to get over my fears. It might be because I have OCD and that is an anxiety disorder, but I am not sure if I am a four with an anxiety disorder or a six with one. It's a bit confusing really.

 

[Dorito]

Yeah, indecisiveness and doubting. But on external terms, I think 6 profiles can tend to revolve around the more STJ 6, or the hyper-phobic, 1-like "prussian" 6.

This is the beginning of the enneagraminstitute.com description:

The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy.

I'm put off right there. I much more relate to 4: "Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved" or 2: "Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted." It's not that I don't have the 6 qualities, but they're not how I would primarily qualify myself. Whereas, funny enough, I see my boyfriend in that description, but he's actually a 9.

Better, from ocean.moonshine.net:

People of enneatype Six are essentially insecure, as though life has never quite provided them with a proper footing, as though there existed nothing, either internally or externally, which could serve as a solid foundation. The type Six fixation is therefore deeply and fundamentally existential, and there exists at the core of enneatype Six a tight knot of anxiety, an essential disquietude, and a deep seated desire to find something or someone stable enough in which to place some trust.

Best:

Sixes feel that if they can find "one sure thing," they can quiet their restlessness, and achieve some semblance of much needed "peace of mind."

I think it's much more important to look at the basic fears/desires, but those are very deep-seated and often hard to identify without clues. For me, 6 finally clicked when I realized that indecisiveness is the single most challenging aspect of my personality to overcome.

I also mistype as 4, and still test as a 4 on all tests. My main issue is with what you have described and that is that type 6 is most commonly described as an STJ type, or hyperphobic. I do not have loyalist tendencies, and rarely am I an ideologist, so it was easy to perpetually dismiss 6 description, as well as reply 'incorrectly' on Enneagram tests for 6 questions. I react more counter-phobic, resorting more to recklessness and aggression, and fending for myself, and coming across as quite forward and very self-sufficient, which I am. There is no one who will sort my stuff out, or who I trust with my security, so I don't turn towards authority figures, but try and fend for myself.

The reason why I think I mistype as 4 is because I do have a strong 4 fix, as well as that I have a very rebellious streak, where I always work on my image being unique, and often provocative, not necessarily sexually, but it's like I like doing something to antagonize people, so that I have a sense of security knowing why they don't like me, and work against me, instead of being disappointed, because I have no idea. The why would be having turquoise or pink hair, or tattoos, or bright colors, or piercing, or anything that sets people off. Because then I know it's because of that. Does that make sense?

 

[misfortuneteller]

6s and 9s are painted as the Hufflepuff house of enneagram so it's not surprising. I was one of the people who was reluctant to identify as being one of them but i'm such an obvious 9.

 

[Red Memories]

I think, at least for say me, I struggle with feeling like E6 diagnoses my anxiety moreso than an actual typing. But there is other aspects to 6 besides anxiety.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

I don't distrust people like a core 6 does. I do, however, tend to distrust myself in times of stress and will reach out to others. I suppose that's Fe for you too though. My anxieties revolve around my image (social anxiety), and sometimes my health (inferior Se), or romantic relationships (Sx), or finances (Sp). When anxiety consumes me, it's more that I cannot emotionally deal with the stresses of life and I overflow. I'm not necessarily looking to defend myself against threats, I'm more looking to manage my stress so that I don't have a breakdown.

I do have a 6-fix, so I am aware of certain threats to me. However, I don't relate at all to the cynicism associated with 6s. What does resonate with me is a deep sense of having become jaded. When I look at people, I am not thinking "is this person trustworthy?" I am thinking "jesus fuck, you are just another one of 'them.' Where are the dark weirdos like me?" For that reason, I am drawn to people who seem "low" in comparison to those around them. The quiet somber or even detached brooding types. I also don't spend any time reflecting on who has "fucked me over" in life and am extremely forgiving.

Enneagram 6 is typically described from an Si perspective, so if you don't have Si, you'll need to adjust accordingly, just as I have to adjust the descriptions of e4 to better reflect Fe over Fi.

 

[meowington]

I don't distrust people like a core 6 does.

But you should ! I have the entire history of mankind to back it up

PS. my anxieties revolve around public image & health too. I'm the worst hypochondriac ever (inferior se indeed).

 

[Galena]

I think, at least for say me, I struggle with feeling like E6 diagnoses my anxiety moreso than an actual typing. But there is other aspects to 6 besides anxiety.

I don't distrust people like a core 6 does. I do, however, tend to distrust myself in times of stress and will reach out to others. I suppose that's Fe for you too though. My anxieties revolve around my image (social anxiety), and sometimes my health (inferior Se), or romantic relationships (Sx), or finances (Sp). When anxiety consumes me, it's more that I cannot emotionally deal with the stresses of life and I overflow. I'm not necessarily looking to defend myself against threats, I'm more looking to manage my stress so that I don't have a breakdown.

I do have a 6-fix, so I am aware of certain threats to me. However, I don't relate at all to the cynicism associated with 6s. What does resonate with me is a deep sense of having become jaded. When I look at people, I am not thinking "is this person trustworthy?" I am thinking "jesus fuck, you are just another one of 'them.' Where are the dark weirdos like me?" For that reason, I am drawn to people who seem "low" in comparison to those around them. The quiet somber or even detached brooding types. I also don't spend any time reflecting on who has "fucked me over" in life and am extremely forgiving.

Enneagram 6 is typically described from an Si perspective, so if you don't have Si, you'll need to adjust accordingly, just as I have to adjust the descriptions of e4 to better reflect Fe over Fi.

I can relate to both of these very much. Sure, I do revisit the type periodically just to be sure - and that is kinda 6-ish, lol. And yet every time I do, while I do see more commonalities with it than a lot of 4s have, also some particularly essential disconnects where I'd never be comfortable actually saying the type applies to me as a core.

 

[LucieCat]

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, so I felt that I couldn't be sure of being a 6 because I felt that a mental health problem should not define what Enneagram type you are. I'm fairly certain that I'm a 6 anyways. But I do agree that a lot of 6 types are very laser focused to a specific subset of 6s and that just doesn't include me. So that adds to the confusion and makes me tend to sometimes want to identify more with my wing type of 7 instead. I think I also have a strong wing, which serves to complicate things.

 

[misfortuneteller]

I don't distrust people like a core 6 does.

I read that this could be an 8 thing too...

 

[Morpeko]

I've always on-and-off considered 6 to be a fix, but never my main type. Looking back at it, I think it's pretty clear that I'm a 6. But there are some reasons why I couldn't figure out my type.

1. The usual indecisiveness, of course.

2. I never tested as 6. I now know that tests tend to be stupid, but that was a big thing for me when I was just dipping my toes into enneagram.

3. I don't relate to most 6 descriptions. Especially the super compliant ones, with a name like the "Loyalist." I had the conception that 6s tend to (blindly) follow authority and certain people, and I've always considered myself skeptical of everything and especially of everyone. Now I realize the skepticism is super 6...

4. Being an sx-dom and soc-blind makes my behavior lean more on the counterphobic and passionate side than stereotypical 6s.

It also took me a while to get into the triads and the core fears/behaviors of enneagram, instead of just typing by stereotypical descriptions. Most of the triads of 6 fit very well (although I think I'm so much more frustration than attachment). However, as much as I may not be proud of it, I'm constantly seeking "support" and "security" in my own way.

 

[Saturnal Snowqueen]

I'm 6 fixed, but I still had a lot of trouble figuring out my type. That definitely could be attributed to 9, but technically my head type was the hardest to figure out. Apparently, 6s are the most curious type-I'm most certainly curious. On a superficial level, I relate to 7 and 5 a lot. With 7, I'm a woman of taste, I see the fun in any situation, I like adventure. For 5, I can research hours and hours and I have the observance of a hawk. Because of my 5-ish and 7-ish interests, I never would have considered a 6 fix in my early days of enneagram, it didn't stick out to me. It would make sense because 6 would have either of those wings. But, do I have any of the fears? Not really. I feel like I have some of the motivations sometimes which can be kind of confusing(like finding the fun in everyday things). But 6 is really the only realm where I experience any real "fear"-searching for security and turning to others when I need to make a decision. I'm mostly ambivalent towards authority, so that made me question my 6ness too(but then again, not my core). I think my double attachment also makes me more multifaceted, and there's all of the doubt that comes from being 6 fixed and triple doubt.

 

[JocktheMotie]

6s take a while to land on their type because no one wants to admit their core psychic wound that they've built their entire personality around is fear, and also because they don't want to accept that they're the worst type.