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[Type 3] Understand a damn enneagram 3!

Sparrow

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It bothers me to think about how people misunderstand 3's so much, peeps think we are fake and not genuine. That's some bullshit!!! I stay true to myself and really am genuine about everything I do and about everything i like, it's not a front. Thank you!!! I'm drunk right now and am venting don't mind me, it's just been bothering me you guys have the wrong idea about 3's. We just want to do the best we can at everything we do! Rawr!!!!!! Is that wrong!!?
 
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Sparrow

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You feel me <3! Damn I guess I am in a feisty mood right now lol... Rawr <3!
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
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Jun 29, 2010
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You feel me <3! Damn I guess I am in a feisty mood right now lol... Rawr <3!

Yes, people think my type is one of those overly moralistic and uptight people who think people shouldn't be drinking. They also think type 1's are killjoys. :cry:

(see what I did there?)

:D
 

Cloud of Thunder

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Sep 17, 2011
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Enneagram
4
According to Cool/Uncool thread, 1s and 3s are among the most misunderstood E-types. Go figure.
 

Owfin

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Dec 18, 2011
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According to Cool/Uncool thread, 1s and 3s are among the most misunderstood E-types. Go figure.

Funny thing is that healthy 3s are one of my favorites, and I like 1s.
 

skylights

i love
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Jul 6, 2010
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i like 3s. i see less "fake" and more an outer "gloss" that other people don't always get to see past. especially with 3w4s. you are proud to show the things you are and stand for but carefully hide what you don't want people to see. which is true for most of us to a certain extent, but 3s most of all.
 

Meaning

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Jan 28, 2012
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The OP needs to take some pharmaceutical grade fish oil. Moody.

It is great to be a good person, and such behavior should be complimented.

I noticed with a 3 I know that he would rarely admit to being wrong (especially when it would make him look bad) and all he would care about was winning, time, and tradition. His moral barometer seemed to be nowhere, though he found himself high ground to judge everyone else. He was very much a perfectionist.

I like threes when they are healthy and moral, because they are go-getters and they push the edge of the envelope and go to great lengths to accomplish amazing things. Well, perhaps not always amazing, but they value external awards and accolades and need that validation to feel like someone in life.

Their "plasticiness" and the fact that they unabashedly lie and hide facets of their true personality in the name of success is very annoying. Also they can end up being ruthless and unethical just to go places in life. This is not a good thing. If they manage to avoid that, then we can all willingly bask in their list of amazing achievements.

But I guess all you wanted was to vent, and get some emotional support and validation, correct?
 

Sparrow

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I was drunk when I posted this!! I don't need validation or advice or anything lol :). I feel kinda dumb for starting this thread actually.

Fuck it, you can't win them all right! ;)
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
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EsTP
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Everyone who thinks that 3s are fake should see that video of Jean-Claude Van Damme:

[youtube=wE8AtI1XonU]Interview Psy de Jean-Claude Van Damme Tout le monde en parle[/youtube]
 

xisnotx

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Sep 24, 2010
Messages
2,144
How in the world can they understand us when we purposefully tailor our image so that they'll draw conclusions contrary to the truth? It's our own doing, for the most part.
 

Elfboy

Certified Sausage Smoker
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Nov 26, 2008
Messages
9,625
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
5w4
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sx/sp
[MENTION=10137]Sparrow[/MENTION]
Enneagram 3 views life as a video game. they want to get the highest score possible
 

Elfboy

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here are some quotes I posted on perC that I feel capture 3s pretty accurately

[MENTION=6144]Wake[/MENTION]
I think it is because 3s lack a sense of intrinsic value. they don't grasp the concept of self love and acceptance for it's own sake. to a 3, they think that surely these things are conditional, so they spend their lives looking for positive external feedback. feedback to "measure" their worth or give them worth in the first place. these things could range from
- beauty
- status
- various abilities (high intelligence, good at sports, possessing a brilliant soprano singing voice)
- high external metrics (such as grades, income etc)

essentially, the 3 is looking for proof
- proof that they are worth something
- proof that they've "earned" what they have. for instance, when a 3 sees a confident person, the tendency is to think "what did he do that makes him so confident?"
in reality though neither of these things need proof. you can to love yourself, you can choose to feel valuable, you can choose to form a positive self concept. and that's all the reason you need, because you choose to.
a healthy, self actualized 3 is one who can get back in touch with this idea of intrinsic value and becomes a human being as opposed to a human doing. they will still be very motivated, ambitious and seek accomplishments, because even a healthy person, this feels good, but this tendency is kept in perspective by the knowledge that they are fine just the way they are and don't need to prove themselves to the world for the sake of self worth.

@Boss
you're a 3 who is knowledgeable of the enneagram. would you say this is an accurate description?

[MENTION=7961]Julia[/MENTION]Rhys
you're considering 3 as your core type. does this sound like you?

3's self perception is based off of external standards. the opinions of others are just one of many possible external standards (and one which is more likely to appeal to 2 wingers and Social instinct doms)

precisely. 3s have an uncanny ability to form this ideal person in their head that they try to emulate. they learn how to talk like them, dress like them, do what they do, become an expert in what they're interested in and even think the way that ideal person does. the amazing thing is, they are able to do all of this and get all of these results from a completely subconscious motivation that the 3 is often completely unaware of themselves. depending on what that ideal person is like, they could be anything from Michael Jordan, David Bowie, Barack Obama or even Richard Dawkins. not every 3 has a demeanor like Tyra Banks of Bradley Cooper.
one thing I think that is undermined is the intelligence of the 3 in their ability to adapt so precisely to a situation without even having to think about it. because of this, almost anything a 3 desires in the outside world is within it's grasp.
 
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