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[Type 9] Coping with 9 indifference

Thinkist

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Dec 7, 2011
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ISTP
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9w1
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sp/sx
As is known, the vice/addiction of the 9 is indifference. Right now it is preventing me from enjoying life. I can't enjoy all of life and be satisfied, life's too short for that. It's as if in order to get some real fun out of life, some decisions have to be made....

Anyway, aside from the above paragraph, how do you 9s deal with your indifferent tendecies?
 
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ilovereeses

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Dec 29, 2009
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eNFP
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9w8
My brother's a 9 ISTP also, and video games always seem to cheer him up. Also, he says he isn't creative but he's always building all these complicated levels on Little Big Planet. But he always seems happiest whenever he's pestering my dad or I. He'll be extremely quiet while at his desk (where he's always found when not at school, using the bathroom or sometimes sleeping) and then he'll jump up and sprint over to my dad and start punching his stomach. He'll do similar things to me such as not letting me get off the couch. He has a sick kind of humor.

I'm also a 9 and I found myself in that same problem a few years ago. The way I got out of it was by finding a new group of friends that actually genuinely cared about me. The second thing that helped was brainstorming creative projects. I wrote a screenplay of a movie I'll never film. However, just playing it over and over in my head is satisfying enough. Hopefully I'll get around to animating it (the easy way out since it'd be impossible to fund the sets).

But I think the real issue you have from what you stated is that you don't feel like anything you do matters, which would be because you lack a mission in life.

The only way out of this indifference typically is to find out what makes you feel fulfilled and then aim for it.

For me I discovered through a book called "The Path" that my mission in life is to release, enlighten and mature creativity and knowledge in others. So, that's what I'm aiming to do. Now I'm in college for film so that I can create films that will hopefully inspire others.
 

Thinkist

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The only way out of this indifference typically is to find out what makes you feel fulfilled and then aim for it.

I may even be stuck at that very junction of decision. It's extra-hard as a SX 9.
 

Snow Turtle

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May 28, 2007
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The only thing to deal with that problem would be to research as much as possible.

Though that might be an odd position to take as a 9 who is indifferent, especially if the above sounds like self-induced pressure/homework. The problem is most of the descriptions of 9 sound like they don't really identify with anything in particular, so it's much harder to find that certain thing in life that is a great motivator.

There's lots of information out there though. Even looking to your past can be helpful.
 

Thinkist

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I could do that, but it's not enough!

I recently realized something: beyond the indifference and nonassertiveness, those very two things have caused me to feel somewhat inferior in comparison to everyone else. It's been that way all my life so far. Even posting here I feel like an inferior for some reason, and it's incredibly frustrating and agonizing!!! :ranting: Maybe I haven't entirely lost my zest for life, but it may feel that way because I've been pushed, pulled, and persuaded in so many different directions I'm not sure where to go! I'm not sure who/what to trust/believe. It also feels that every time I do try to become assertive and make a decision, it fails (maybe that's just a mere Type 9 thing).

...and now that I look at what I've just written, I wonder if this is could be a mere Type 9 stress reaction.
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
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[MENTION=14864]Thinkist[/MENTION]

Write a journal. When something happens (whether good or bad,) write about it. Maybe, you can even bring a small journal if something amuses you or frustrate you (I won't tell you to do so because even I don't.) You'll probably find something deep after you go back to reading your journal in a month or so. The trouble with 9's is that indifference can sometimes be a sign of not trying to be assertive or not willing to risk a "good" relation or flat out avoiding something. When you start writing in a journal about anything and everything without worry about pushing other peoples' buttons or risk hurting them, you begin to start noticing patterns in thoughts where you've pushed deep down as indifference. If you write everything and anything in that journal, you have no choice but to confront yourself that you refuse to see.

As a 9, 9's have learned to silence the self in order to notice others first. For a 9, there is a lost sense of "self" and to find that "self" you have to look into yourself no matter how bad or good looking into yourself sounds. That means, yes, take notice in what makes you angry (though you refuse to say or notice that you are angry,) take notice at what makes you happy, take notice at what makes you sad, etc. You can even take notice of some dreams you think are important (you might think some of them are trying to tell you something.) Just take notice of the nuances.

You can think of the 9's preference as, "See no evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil."

This page might help a bit in what I am talking about:
http://ocean-moonshine.net/e1428573...d=12&PAGE_user_op=view_page&module=pagemaster
 

Thinkist

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One more piece of insight: my Type 9 indifference is a bit unique since it has strong hints of Type 5 Nihilism. Sometimes I might hold the philosophy that "life's too easy, so why bother with it?" A philosophy that clearly isn't true, but sure can appear that way...
 

Poki

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Its not to hard when I am by my self. I just pick something...one of the choices...and live with it. With someone else it can cause issues as I really dont care...I can do the same thing, but they will have to live with it as well. Once I get to know someone I simply make there options as precedence as I am extremely indifferent to most things.
 

lauranna

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[MENTION=14864]Thinkist[/MENTION]
I am also an ISTP type 9 sx/sp.
Now i don't know a massive amount about this enneagram stuff. And I know i am indifferent to most things. But basically I am content. And optimistic. Maybe you are judging yourself on others expectations. If you just be yourself and enjoy the being. Just enjoy existing and do stuff you want to do. Maybe it helps to hang out with someone you like who does stuff you enjoy... because they will help you get off your ass and do it.
 

BlackCat

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I'm a type 9w8 who has been working on myself extensively for years... And what I can say has made me feel the most alive is find people who liven up life for you. In any way really. A lot of the time doing things for myself is just apart of what I do and doesn't change much, but other people that I know care about me really make my life.
 

CheshireCat

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How do I deal with indifferent tendencies... By being indifferent of course!

I kid. But I do recall an instance when i was about to be PISSED OFF because I thought my dog shit on the floor. and then I realized my dog actually shit on the floor... and I was like- I don't care. :dry:

Honestly, I'm not sure how to elaborate more on that question.
 

Fluffywolf

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I don't deal with my indifferences. I'm pretty happy with them the way they are. :p

That said, there is a level in my life where I dont suffer from indifference as a vice. For example, in my job, stuff needs to be done, and regardless of how I feel about it. I will do it. Because I realize it must be done. And the same applies to other things. I guess I never let my indifferences stand inbetween me and what must be done. Although in certain cases, it can make me be very creative with deadlines. Even so, I manage well.

And it definately is no issue in terms of my happiness. I have no expectancies of myself that would make this an issue.
 

Tiltyred

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I'm indifferent to my indifferences.
 

Concur_Withall

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As a 9, you are a Peacemaker. When stressed you resemble a Loyalist, when secure you resemble an Achiever. You receive your primary help from the Perfectionist.

9 tends to look for compromises between opposing sides, and may seem indifferent, as they are not taking sides. However, this is not actually indifference, but a particular bias concerning the outcomes of an event. They are conflict-averse in the sense of trying to move things from conflict to peace, however also pursue conflictual situations as they wish to make use as much as they can of their talents in restoriyng the peace.

Watch out for overcompliance, i.e. not standing up for yourself, and for over-head-use, i.e. getting bogged down by the inconsistencies. When you start to become more yourself, you will learn to listen more to what you want for yourself, and be focused on achieving it.

The first type will be there along side you to keep you on track.
 

Aspie aspiring

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The thing is, the reason why I seem indifferent is because I have a hard time taking sides in a conversation or argument--I see both sides as valid and I can understand both points of view.
 

statuesquechica

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The thing is, the reason why I seem indifferent is because I have a hard time taking sides in a conversation or argument--I see both sides as valid and I can understand both points of view.

I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing, if anything you are willing to acknowledge there may be pros and cons in each point of view. That could also be looked at as a great opportunity to learn and understand another point of view. To me, there is always fluidity when looking at all sides of an issue, and I like that about myself, being an e9 as well.
 
W

WALMART

Guest
As is known, the vice/addiction of the 9 is indifference. Right now it is preventing me from enjoying life. I can't enjoy all of life and be satisfied, life's too short for that. It's as if in order to get some real fun out of life, some decisions have to be made....

Anyway, aside from the above paragraph, how do you 9s deal with your indifferent tendecies?

lol @ what 9's consider a paragraph
 

Froody Blue Gem

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I am guilty of having a certain apathy, especially at my worst. It's a general thing with me but there are times when it's more extreme than other times. When I know I should care but can't feel much. Or the feelings, mostly negative feelings have been pushed beneath the surface.

It could lead to spillover, or this state of apathy. It's easy for me to care about people who I'm close and I generally want people to be happy. to but I guess I go through phases. Or when there is stress buildup, I may resort to this naturally. And it causes a lack of happiness when it gets to it's extremes. When I find the motivation to get stuff done, inspiration for creative projects, it gets me out of my lowest ruts.
 

Lord Lavender

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Indifference and apathy have been things that I have struggled with in life. I tend to see all sides and options as having a point and I try to get everyone on the same page as harmony is something I love (Though that could be my Libra speaking ha ha ha not my 9) and yeah it can lead to a kind of hmmm seeming to lack passion as I don't really take a strong stance or anything but I don't see it as indifference more like hmmm like being able to see that all choices are good in their own little way.
 

ceecee

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Apr 22, 2008
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INTJ
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One of the best thing is seeing one that's been walking around for years advertising how little of a shit they give and how they think fence sitting and seeing both sides is the most noble stance - suddenly find their mighty moral position and ideology trampled on by the very people they gave the benefit of the doubt and endlessly admonished others for not doing the same.

*chef finger kiss* Like a sweet delicious caramel melting all over my tongue.
 
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