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[Type 1] 1's, how do you get yourself to relax and have fun?

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
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Jun 29, 2010
Messages
3,031
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sx/so
It seems, I have the hardest time telling myself to just RELAX and have fun. Sometimes to the point that others have to tell me that I have to relax and have fun or that I notice I'm being strict and rigid. A lot of times, it means repressing a lot of my impulses.
 
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mujigay

Intergalactic Badass
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
532
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
For me, I have to block off time to relax. Otherwise, I'd start jumping on to the next project.

It's pretty ironic to schedule relaxation, isn't it? But it helps if you tell yourself that you'll be improving nothing and no one by working yourself to death.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
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Nov 4, 2007
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I usually have a back lot of pressing tasks which keep me anxious. I can almost never relax if I don't first clear several of them out of the way. I know more will eventually come, but as long as there are none known it allows my mind to rest a little bit.

I usually have to anticipate relaxation, too. This either means scheduling it or more often in my case observing when it has practically been scheduled for me. That way I can take a breather but tell myself that I'm not suddenly interrupting responsibility or that I'll let it stretch out indefinitely.

Even in spite of this, it is really hard for me to relax without someone else's help, and it usually can't be anyone. I'd get very stressed in class, and my English professor in particular was impressively good at calming me down. It's very hard to convince myself that things aren't on my shoulders to deal with, or that they'll turn out all right, or that there's nothing wrong with me if I don't succeed. I really need someone I feel safe with to tell me that before I'll believe it.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
Wow, this sounds rough. Although I guess my mind is always working; it doesn't relax so much. But it's not stress so much as... Well, I had this vision of my brain being a rubik's cube that I'm constantly fiddling with, moving around. I get a row, get excited, but then I see I have to take apart the row to get anything else so I'm always going back, reconfiguring.

So I guess this is similar to the one, but you have to get your brain AND body to relax and have fun, huh- is that right?
 

Neutralpov

New member
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
310
well and I think relaxing things are the things where my mind is engaged so that it is quiet from planning and thinking but more engaged in a fun book or intuitive project for me. that is a positive form of relaxation even though it doesn't look relaxing to some people. also sleep! nothing shuts the brain down like hard sleep after you have run yourself ragged mentally
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
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Messages
3,031
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sx/so
For me, I have to block off time to relaxed. Otherwise, I'd start jumping on to the next project.

It's pretty ironic to schedule relaxation, isn't it? But it helps if you tell yourself that you'll be improving nothing and no one by working yourself to death.

I usually have a back lot of pressing tasks which keep me anxious. I can almost never relax if I don't first clear several of them out of the way. I know more will eventually come, but as long as there are none known it allows my mind to rest a little bit.

I usually have to anticipate relaxation, too. This either means scheduling it or more often in my case observing when it has practically been scheduled for me. That way I can take a breather but tell myself that I'm not suddenly interrupting responsibility or that I'll let it stretch out indefinitely.

Even in spite of this, it is really hard for me to relax without someone else's help, and it usually can't be anyone. I'd get very stressed in class, and my English professor in particular was impressively good at calming me down. It's very hard to convince myself that things aren't on my shoulders to deal with, or that they'll turn out all right, or that there's nothing wrong with me if I don't succeed. I really need someone I feel safe with to tell me that before I'll believe it.

This is what comes to mind. I just feel like I am lazing around when relaxed when I feel that I should be working on "x". It is only when I don't have too much to do that I actually can relax.

Wow, this sounds rough. Although I guess my mind is always working; it doesn't relax so much. But it's not stress so much as... Well, I had this vision of my brain being a rubik's cube that I'm constantly fiddling with, moving around. I get a row, get excited, but then I see I have to take apart the row to get anything else so I'm always going back, reconfiguring.

So I guess this is similar to the one, but you have to get your brain AND body to relax and have fun, huh- is that right?

My mind is like a Rubik's cube with a timer when there are things I need to do. I have to align the Rubik's cube before the timer runs out. If I stand idle for too long, the closer the timer is to 0. Once I am done, I have to move on to the next Rubik's cube with that same timer. At least, putting aside for the fact that there is a method to solving the Rubik's cube. :D

well and I think relaxing things are the things where my mind is engaged so that it is quiet from planning and thinking but more engaged in a fun book or intuitive project for me. that is a positive form of relaxation even though it doesn't look relaxing to some people. also sleep! nothing shuts the brain down like hard sleep after you have run yourself ragged mentally

The funny thing is, sleep is sometimes one of those things keeping me up all night. :D
Sometimes, when I need to do something in the near future, my mind will wonder about that for the night.

But yes, relaxation for me is something that I like doing, even though it may/may not require some work or thinking.
 
B

brainheart

Guest
My mind is like a Rubik's cube with a timer when there are things I need to do. I have to align the Rubik's cube before the timer runs out. If I stand idle for too long, the closer the timer is to 0. Once I am done, I have to move on to the next Rubik's cube with that same timer. At least, putting aside for the fact that there is a method to solving the Rubik's cube. :D.

Wow, an internal timer that is actually paid attention to... I can't even imagine.
 

Cloud of Thunder

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Sep 17, 2011
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571
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I find myself taking my "leisure" time so seriously that it's not even really relaxing.
 

Owlesque

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Dec 17, 2010
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416
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sp/sx
I find myself taking my "leisure" time so seriously that it's not even really relaxing.

This, to some extent.

Also, many of the things I choose to do in my leisure time aren't exactly relaxing in the typical sense anyway... looking for rare birds and birdwatching in general, photography, looking for bones/fossils. Relaxing does not necessarily equal fun for me, and vice versa. I don't like being idle in that respect (and I don't mean just physically... even if I'm just reading or drawing I'm constantly thinking or rearranging things internally or what have you). I don't think I could truly clear my mind and "relax" even if I wanted to, but that's probably the result of Ni just as much as being a 1.
 
A

A_priori

Guest
I'm a 4w1 and winding down and relaxing is so difficult for me. I find that I have a lot of ideas and always like to keep busy and productive. Relaxing is so important and I can't even imagine if I was a 1wx.. One thing that I have learned is to find ways to chanel my energy, I do so by keeping busy and accomplishing stuff that builds me up. This is when I am most relaxed, when I have done something meaningful during my day. So it's almost like I have to be working towards something to be satisfied in order to relax. As strange as that sounds..
 
A

A_priori

Guest
I'm a 4w1 and winding down and relaxing is so difficult for me. I find that I have a lot of ideas and always like to keep busy and productive. Relaxing is so important and I can't even imagine if I was a 1wx.. One thing that I have learned is to find ways to chanel my energy, I do so by keeping busy and accomplishing stuff that builds me up. This is when I am most relaxed, when I have done something meaningful during my day. So it's almost like I have to be working towards something to be satisfied in order to relax. As strange as that sounds.. I think that 1s have to learn to lower the bar.
 

Working On It

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Joined
Sep 3, 2012
Messages
47
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INTJ
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1w2
Relaxation is over-rated. I love working, creating, exploring new horizons, pushing the intellectual envelop, etc. I exercise vigorously to keep my stamina up, and attitude positive. It just dawned on me, running at least an hour a day is my relaxation.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
When I was a child I was really into roller coasters and other adrenaline-heavy activities because it pulled me into experiencing and enjoying the moment. Now I try to just commit to valuable procrastinating when I feel like I don't want to work. I commit to spending that time outside or going out with friends and joyfully doing something.
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
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Jul 1, 2011
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I'm a 4w1 and winding down and relaxing is so difficult for me. I find that I have a lot of ideas and always like to keep busy and productive. Relaxing is so important and I can't even imagine if I was a 1wx.. One thing that I have learned is to find ways to chanel my energy, I do so by keeping busy and accomplishing stuff that builds me up. This is when I am most relaxed, when I have done something meaningful during my day. So it's almost like I have to be working towards something to be satisfied in order to relax. As strange as that sounds..

This sounds right, I still don't know if i'm a 1 though...i think it's cause i don't want to be a one lol ...dammit :dry:
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
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INFJ
well and I think relaxing things are the things where my mind is engaged so that it is quiet from planning and thinking but more engaged in a fun book or intuitive project for me. that is a positive form of relaxation even though it doesn't look relaxing to some people. also sleep! nothing shuts the brain down like hard sleep after you have run yourself ragged mentally

This sounds like me. I don't know if I have a hard time having fun, but what I deem fun probably isn't considered fun by everyone.

Somehow, when there's something familiar that I know I enjoy, or something out there that could possibly be fun, but it's uncertain how it will turn out, I'm more likely to pick what's familiar to me.

Usually I have a ton of leisure "projects" waiting for any time I have left over - photography, learning to play some of the other instruments I own, watching DVDs on topics that are related to my interests, reading books etc.
 

Savitri

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Aug 15, 2012
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I schedule it in. I have difficulty being moderate in most activities I do. If I work, I devote 100% and when I play, I play 100%. Scheduling helps to secure a slot for madness in a year filled with productivity.
 
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Evo

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I schedule it in. I have difficulty being moderate in most activities I do. If I work, I devout 100% and when I play, I play 100%. Scheduling helps to secure a slot for madness in a year filled with productivity.

yea I should probably start to do this...I'm definately the same way though, if I do play(it's not often) I'm 100% all play and I work more so I'm definately 100%
 

Savitri

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yea I should probably start to do this...I'm definately the same way though, if I do play(it's not often) I'm 100% all play and I work more so I'm definately 100%

Looks like you're contemplating on a 1 core? It will hinge on why you do it this way. Although, sometimes the reasons are entirely irrelevant to type.

However, I believe the reasons why I schedule this is connected to my core. I've always done things with all effort. I don't believe in doing something I want to do half-assed. I do not think it fair for myself (wasting time) or others (wasting their time) to not be 100% present on the activity. If I go in, I go all in. If I find myself giving less, then the activity/person/goal needs to be questioned and perhaps cut or saved for a later time.

lol I do envy those who can do it both fluidly. But, friends have told me that I am quite generous with the drinks (and generous with my own intake lol) and offer a pretty spontaneous fun vacation when I'm with them. It makes up the other 350 days I am not hahaha.
 

Evo

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Looks like you're contemplating on a 1 core? It will hinge on why you do it this way. Although, sometimes the reasons are entirely irrelevant to type.

However, I believe the reasons why I schedule this is connected to my core. I've always done things with all effort. I don't believe in doing something I want to do half-assed. I do not think it fair for myself (wasting time) or others (wasting their time) to not be 100% present on the activity. If I go in, I go all in. If I find myself giving less, then the activity/person/goal needs to be questioned and perhaps cut or saved for a later time.

lol I do envy those who can do it both fluidly. But, friends have told me that I am quite generous with the drinks (and generous with my own intake lol) and offer a pretty spontaneous fun vacation when I'm with them. It makes up the other 350 days I am not hahaha.

Hmm all or nothng sounds like the J in ENTJ...I know that is what it's like for me...I am on fence about 6, 1, or 3 for enneagram though. Yea I mean, that last sentence sound a lot like me lol...I'm still fun when I put my mind to it...or clear my mind..whatever lol...Either way I think I might be a one becuase when I do something I want to do it right, so I can try to perfect things alot. :/
 
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