[Type 4] What's a 4w3?

[brainheart]

I may be one vs the 4w5. Think short n sweet thread and post, please. (not looking for 4w3 vs 4w5, just what it is to be one, your raison d'etre, etc.

Thankey.

 

[Anna intuitive]

I'm at 4w3. I'm creative, come out with quirky oddnesses, like to interact with individuals and groups in my own individual way, but also need long periods of alone time, during which times I disappear from the social interactions. My raison d'etre is to write about incredibly internal and meaningful things in a way that will reach other people and touch them positively.

 

[brainheart]

Thanks anna.

How important is the touching other people aspect of your creativity? In other words, if there was no audience, would you still create?

 

[Elfboy]

you don't strike me as wing 3 at all, but since I've been struggling with my own enneatype for so long, I'm aware my opinion doesn't carry much weight. however, as an example, here is a pretty widely agreed upon 4w3. you'll notice she's more choleric, fiery and blood and guts than a 4w5.

 

[brainheart]

you don't strike me as wing 3 at all, but since I've been struggling with my own enneatype for so long, I'm aware my opinion doesn't carry much weight. however, as an example, here is a pretty widely agreed upon 4w3. you'll notice she's more choleric, fiery and blood and guts than a 4w5.

All well and good. However:

1. I come from a very intellectual family. Therefore, that is what was admired and encouraged. So the question is, am I 'five-ish' because that's my true nature or cause that's how I was raised?

2. I did very well in school, academic scholarships to high school and college, honors student, etc. I just took an art class this last semester and got a 100%. (This actually bummed me out because there is no way anyone, aside from a master, deserves a 100% in art. It's kind of embarrassing. I, however, still mentioned my grade to people.)

3. I oscillate between extreme self-consciousness, self-hate, and self-confident bragging.

4. I will do something if there's a deadline and I know others will see it. Otherwise, I'm kind of inert. When I write, I imagine an audience (of intimates, not everyone) and their reactions. Sometimes my fear of not being great prevents me from doing things or having people see them. Example: I wrote a children's book five years ago and then stuck it in a box because I don't feel like it's the 'real' me and I feel like it's too esoteric and highbrow for it to be published, so what's the point? I have written two songs that I love (and have gotten good feedback on) but I'm also older and married and have kids so it's not like I have the appeal of younger musicians and I can't exactly tour so... it keeps me from doing it, even though I love playing and writing music more than anything.

5. I have always felt 'exempt'. A friend of mine and I had a joke that I was the aristocrat and she was the peasant. She did all the housework and I just sat there, oblivious. My #1 childhood fantasy (aside from being a great writer, musician, dancer, artist) was to be landed gentry, so I would never have to deal with stupid 'practical' concerns.

6. This man is my ultimate soulmate. (he's a 4w3 sx/sp) He writes everything that I feel, perfectly. I feel like he totally gets me and I totally get him. I am also extremely envious of his life (although not his love life, it seems messed up) and accomplishments. I feel like if I had had an older brother and father who were both musicians, as it was for him, my life might have been very different.

(I also name drop from time to time about my real-life connection to him and then feel terrible about it, like I'm betraying him, not to mention, how awful is it to name drop? I hate it when people do it. But it's a good story as well, so...)

 

[Elfboy]

I take it back, your self description sounds very 4w3 based on what I've read so far, particularly points 2 and 3

 

[brainheart]

I think it can be embarrassing to be a 4w3 because the three seems so anti-4. I think for this reason many fours hide it or suppress it. The three is like the superficial voice inside your head that seems so contradictory to the 'real' you.

 

[Anna intuitive]

<How important is the touching other people aspect of your creativity? In other words, if there was no audience, would you still create?>

Actually, I do create anyway. I have continued to create when there hasn't been an audience. But there's something missing, and I am pressing to find an outlet for that form of creativity. So I have been creative in ways that had an audience, and that feels satisfying to me, like an action completed, whereas creating without an audience feels like I'm not living out my potential.

 

[Chiharu]

4w3 are full of contradictions. We long to be authentic but we're naturally manipulative. We don't want to appear superficial or vain but we love beauty and long to be beautiful. We try to come off like we don't give a damn, but we care SO much. As 4's we feel defective and as 4w3s we strive to somehow make that shame beautiful. We want to share everything, but we fear to share anything.

 

[Anna intuitive]

I'm now starting to wonder whether I'm not a 4w5 after all. I really don't care about being beautiful. I just like to show off and shine every now and then. And I can self present myself how I want the specific others to see me. But maybe all fours are like that?

 

[King sns]

<How important is the touching other people aspect of your creativity? In other words, if there was no audience, would you still create?>

Actually, I do create anyway. I have continued to create when there hasn't been an audience. But there's something missing, and I am pressing to find an outlet for that form of creativity. So I have been creative in ways that had an audience, and that feels satisfying to me, like an action completed, whereas creating without an audience feels like I'm not living out my potential.

I feel like my four and five are almost completely shut off from the world. I can't express what I'm feeling when I'm in that mode. It may have to do with the fact that I'm a seven though. When I'm being a four, people just keep asking me what's wrong. (Even if there is nothing wrong, I'm just contained in my own world.) It's not exactly a publicity creator for me.

 

[Anna intuitive]

Looking on this site here: http://www.thechangeworks.com/ennprimer/enn9styls1.html#anchor169880 I see the theory that 60 to 70% of the population favour one wing over the other, while the remaining 30 or so percent use both wings. In that case I would put myself in the second category, because when I read descriptions of 4w5 I identify more with that than with the descriptions of 4w3, yet compared with a 4w5 friend I'm much more self-presenting, deceitful, pushing myself forward, etc. I really can recognise my 3 wing. Like if somebody gives me an opportunity to publicise my workshops over the radio I just jump at it, and then behave on the air in a full-tilt self-projecting way that leaves me embarrassed afterwards.