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Thread: Fives deep down

  1. #11
    Member Affably Evil's Avatar
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    Jul 2010


    I keep mine chained in the basement, but it is there!

    ... I think. Maybe I should check in on it.
    5w4 sx/sp

  2. #12
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    5w4 sx/sp


    sex is important. lightning rods are good. very grounding.

    emotionally when we're right, detachment turns to non-attachment. it allows us to internalize the milieu rather than focusing on what we hear internally. it's good for triangulation. while i personally don't feel that great with reasons, i still assess information quality extremely well and get it to talk in new and novel ways. it's good for discourse moderation. it's just more de-centered and needs to feel the circulation more than it specifically fixates on its own interior. fear gets in the way and prevents hearing because the fucking mental clatter is too shrill and chaotic and unceasing and revved up. and we feel entranced in those moments by potential threats and just move closer to them, a strange kind of fascination rehearsing itself until you become emotionally empty.

    as far as the good/bad of 5s, i think we run contrary to social expectations about as hard as we possibly could. 5s with a stronger sense of efficacy usually are much more appreciated, even when they go too far (look at 8s!). 5w6s are far less feeling than 5w4s and hypervigilant about being controlled or forced or threatened. there's also a huge difference between e5 types. i think the infjs probably oscillate the most, because when our feeling is fucked up, we're totally groundless, so we really need to be emotionally centered amidst whatever changing environments we find ourselves in or we can quickly feel totally lost because a big chunk of our intelligence is suddenly missing. extreme skittishness results.

  3. #13
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Jan 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by simbad View Post
    Do 5's ever suffer from lovesickness / lovepain?
    It can happen.

    Are they capable of empathy? Realize when someone is feeling sad or hurt?
    Definitely capable, but not as astute as other types. I think that's more of a Enn 4 thing than it is a 5. So, being a 5w4, I have to allow myself to tap into that side of things. And I may not always "realize" when someone is feeling down if I'm in Enn 5 mode. If they show it, then yes. If it's well hidden beneath the surface, it will be hard for me to pick up on. But, once it's shown or brought to my attention, then I actually want to go to that place with them.

    Do they ever have a bad conscience when they realized they've insulted or hurt someone they like?
    Yes. Very much. I find this to be largely accurate:

    One of the bullet points under "What's hard about being a 5" is that we sometimes "feel bad when we act like a know-it-all or when we act defensive". I'd say it's more feeling bad if I've said something out of my rockish nature that really stung the other person. That makes me feel bad almost every time.

    What could someone do to really hurt you?
    Probably a breach of confidence or a betrayal of trust. I'm big on integrity. Do what's in the best interest of your friends, of those you care about. If you have to sneak around and keep things hidden and engage in all kinds of "behind the scenes activity", why even bother being friends with that person? I'd rather that person cut me loose so we can both get busy being honest and free again. This could be in any different realm: betrayals of trust in the business realm (your handshake didn't mean what you said it did), finances, words spoken to another person, misleading/deceitful actions, etc. Basically, I want trustworthy people around me.

    What is the nicest thinig you could say to a 5 to win him over?
    I doubt there is one thing that would "win someone over". But, things that have meant a lot to me in the past are things like, "You're a good friend." "I appreciate you for who you are." "I'm glad you're a part of my life." "When I need a solution, I call you." (haha). My ISTJ buddy calls me "The idea guy." I have a family member who knows I don't like talking on the phone a whole lot and so she'll call once a month and say something like, "It's been a while and I needed my monthly INTPness 'fix'. My tank was running low, but now I'm good again. Ahhhh, I feel much better now!" LOL, cracks me up every time. We may not be social butterflies, but we like our time with people to be of high quality. Fun and silly, but also good conversations. Also, my step-dad is ESTJ and we don't see eye-to-eye on most things at all. I probably call him twice a year on special occasions. But, I found out recently through others that he "really, really enjoys my phone calls and our conversations" and that I should call more. That really meant a lot. That's one of those things that gets into the deeper places for me. I know he'd never say it to my face, but just to know that he'd like more than just 2 calls a year - it showed me that we have something more than I thought we did. It gives me something to build on.

    What is the worst misconception someone could have about you?
    That I don't care. As an example, I have siblings who are sensors and we don't share a lot of of common interests. And because of that, we don't talk as often as we should. But, recently I've made more of an effort and they have all responded in kind. It's been really good to see that "rebuilding" or "re-establishing" of closeness. What I realized is that when I'm distant for months at a time, they think I don't care. Nothing could be further from the truth. I care very deeply. There's just hasn't always been a lot of common ground in the past. But, just a phone call to reach out and say, "Hey, guess what? I care! What's been going on you big lug?" - it goes a long way in showing them that I do care.

    If you had a choice between 2 women - one who is emotional, kind, fun to be with and sexy or one who is aloof, intelligent and rational. Which would you choose?
    Who would pass up on kind, fun, and sexy? I'd definitely go with the first option. Only exception would possibly be an ENTJ, but they're not really aloof. Intelligent and rational, but not aloof.

    But, that's just my personal preference. Even if you're the aloof, rational type (OP), there's someone out there for everyone. There's always someone out there who will appreciate you exactly the way you are.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.

    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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