[Type 5] 5's in love

[simbad]

I fancy a 5 who on the one side seems to be interested in me too on occasions and on other occasions not so. Do 5's know if want they want when it concerns their feelings for someone?

 

[The_World_As_Will]

Hi there, My advice, as a five would be to tell him how you feel!, otherwise he will remain unsure and then start to doubt if you don't push it, he may not get the subtle clues lol I know I certainly didn't with my girlfriend earlier, but definitely tell him, and ask him questions about himself and his interest, as you would get more of a response and he will try to ask about your own and it starts a conversation. But have hope! It will work out positively in the end.


Happy Five Hunting!

 

[the state i am in]

agreed. the answer is not exactly. i am intrigued all the time. i find especially with other types that have e4 ego/secondary egos that the fear of rejection is really strong so we do this don't speak the same language awkward aboriginal miming dance. it's embarrassing and degrading for both parties, and can be demoralizing if you don't keep your head on straight, like both of us seem to walk away and just be like, goddammit, why can't i just hang in there and move forward in this situation??? just like disappointed in yourself that you couldn't do better than that, that after all that talk in the in-betweens and so-called gearing up you still fell flat on your face, demured, etc.

also, there's no real answer, there's only the answer that's best for you. i am trying to follow my own advice and not JUST focus on whether it's gonna work or not, but instead also focus on what/who i want to be and what i want to feel capable of (normal dating practices). i guess, depending on where you're coming from, this sense of risk/reward is widely variable. there's no promises that we are interested, but i know that i always have a few situations in which i am. and while i might be somewhat attracted to a few different people at a time, that's also a function of wanting connection more generally. continued attention seems different. and i think my decisions would actually be based on a quick estimate of objective potential and the actual interaction as it's unfolded (with that said, some of my absolute favorite people i've ever met started off with horrible interactions).

i am usually way more open to exploring possibilities than it might seem by my body language, which is just not exactly intelligent and often a bit counterproductive due to e4 overcompensating when actually invested or feeling a sense of real risk. i've been told about one of my situations that i just need to fucking smile more! say cheese!

 

[Vasilisa]

I remember [MENTION=8413]Zarathustra[/MENTION] reading from Molina's Our Ways: Values and Character about Fives relishing their experiences of love after the fact. I thought of that when I read this quote from Proust:

“Pleasures are like photographs: in the presence of the person we love, we take only negatives, which we develop later, at home, when we have at our disposal once more our inner dark room, the door of which it is strictly forbidden to open while others are present.”​

I wonder if Fives relate to this, and/or would like to talk more about how they process their feelings of love.