[Type 7] 7w8 and enneagram gurus.. question for ya

[FDG]

no you're perfectly right, i think i just misread your post

 

[Lady_X]

With Kaspers clarification on 4's and 7's (Thankyou Kasper!) ..I am believing more and more that I am indeed a 7. I DEFINATELY do not enjoy sitting with pain. I can't bear negative mental states and will even sometimes go to extremes to avoid these. In the past, I've turned to partying nonstop with people- even people i don't really care for or trust, just to get out of my mind. I've resorted to excessive bar hopping, outrageous spending to the point that i'd reserve a hotel room in Vegas before paying my rent on time! (sick i know) I've passed up awesome job promotions to keep the flexability of doing whatever I want and to avoid stress and obligation, I've even pushed off ending incredibley bad relationships just so I am not left with compulsive thoughts of failure and what I should have done differently.

Now some things have happened in the last 2 years that have forced me to not be my typical, extravagant, adventuresome self. 1) I took a job with the airline (mentioned earlier) but it was a MASSIVE pay cut. I told myself that I could live on an extremely humble income in the name of traveling. What I didn't take into account is how much day to day FUN a higher income affords. Just simple things, like affording a latte every day, getting a massage once a month, getting my hair and nails done, shopping when I want, always having cash on hand to go to a concert, festival, art exhibit, etc. Giving up these things was/is TORTURE! But I continue to force myself to do it because every 2 months I can jaunt off to SanFran, or Portland, or Chicago. I question if its worth it ALOT. 2) To take the travel job I have to work from home (i do behind the scenes airline crap) .. some people would think its great (probably extreme introverts) but again I totally overlooked my need for PEOPLE. Oh how I miss BSing with people, hearing whats going on in their life, sharing my life, I even miss the work place DRAMA, and I never thougth i'd say that! 3) My SO bought a house about 2 hours away from the city I grew up in, so I'm stuck out in suburbia, as in no local music, few coffe shops, no neat little artistic stores, just Kohls and Applebees as far as the eye can see =( So now I rarely get to see friends AND there isn't shit to do in this town. Honestly, you can only see a movie and go to barnes and noble SO much. Finally.. I lost my DL! As in had it suspended for a YEAR for an array of traffic infractions (none of which were actual accidents). What is the point here? I have made decisions (yes i take full accountability) that i feel have left me really efen stagnant. ALL in the name of TRAVEL! Let me say this.. 3 months in I was fine, 6 months in I was getting pretty down, 9 months in a was practically MANIC and this carried on for a few months, with virtually NO WAY to avoid or distract myself. And ya, it did create growth. PAINFUL PAINFUL growth. I had no choice but to visit the darkest recesses of my mind. No choice but to sit with years and years of issues that I had never fully worked out and accepted because I kept myself so god dam distracted all the time. And suddenly, I started typing E/I border. and getting 3w4 and 4w3 results.

So ya, have I grown? Sure. I've worked through alot of stuff that I needed to work through. I almost wonder if some things in life are pre destined, and if this experience was all meant to be in some icky icky growth process.

I am really curious to know if any type 7's have had this type of "growth" placed upon them? Life circumstances that have deprived you of your normal flow? Did it permanently change you.. or do you find its circumstantial?

omfg yes...i have too! i was happy as could be living in the city..meeting friends out every day of the week...cool lil stores and restaurants...working fulltime making pretty good money...then...moving to the suburbs...barely seeing friends...then moving to a new state away from everyone...away from the city...no cool stores..or friends nearby...no cool work environment...blah...it's really hard...all of a sudden you realize you're just kinda depressed...i first noticed that i didn't seem to be very interested in engaging people..i used to be so curious and happy to converse with people...but i've kinda withdrawn into myself...i don't think i'm super depressed or even all the time...just you know....not feeling like myself...anyway i'll get off the couch haha the point was just that i think 7's need all of that so much...it's just so vital to our well being.


oh! also...i think the difference is that 4's would just feel like this is my life..it's what i expected. i might want something else but i don't deserve it...or i'm just not capable of doing anything different...sort of accepting and comfortable living with less than their ideal...not that it makes them happy...just that it's what they expect...shit...didn't explain that well...but as a 7 i feel like it's okay...life is just sorta on pause right now and once i sort this out and that it'll be awesome...so our idea of what will happen in the future comforts us and we can maintain our happy go lucky state of mind...knowing that whatever less than ideal thing we are going through is temporary.

 

[brainheart]

but as a 7 i feel like it's okay...life is just sorta on pause right now and once i sort this out and that it'll be awesome...so our idea of what will happen in the future comforts us and we can maintain our happy go lucky state of mind...knowing that whatever less than ideal thing we are going through is temporary.

I relate to this so well. Life on hold... totally. Someday I will live in a treehouse or houseboat and go swimming in the ocean every day or live in NYC and just wander around, taking in everything. It's going to rule! And that sustains me. I don't feel pessimistic about the future in the slightest. The present is fine, too. I can always find something to capture my interest. It might not be the ideal thing, but whatever.