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  1. #1
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Mar 2010

    Default Relationship Question for Type 9s

    In terms of initiating romantic relations, have you typically been aggressor, pursued, or something else, like meet in the middle?
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  2. #2
    Another awesome member. Curator's Avatar
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    Jan 2011


    I tend to be a meet in the middle kind of person, attempt to understand where they are coming from and their needs, and attempt to articulate mine in a way they can understand, so we can use that understanding to find a middle ground that is good for the both of us...

    Edit: ah, changed the question a bit, uh, as far as initiating relationships (romantic), I usually don't, I often try to initiate friendships, which is often misinterpreted as trying to initiate a romantic relationship... But if some one is quite obvious about their interest in me, and I happen to feel a romantic relationship with them has a decent chance of working out, or at least not endangering our friendship if it doesn't, then I am willing to meet in the middle, occasionally even going a bit further into being the aggressor...

  3. #3
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Aug 2009


    In my experience, I tend to think of it like a dance... sort of... Both parties know there is interest on both sides, so they continue advances, the give and take. So in the end both parties are both the aggressor and the pursued.. just in different ways.
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  4. #4
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    ILE None


    Yeah, like a trench war
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  5. #5


    I haven't initiated anything in years but I think I tend to be meet in the middle. I want to be aware of something and then build on that. Make sense?

  6. #6
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    937 so/sx


    I like to be pursued, the dance, if you will. But in every serious relationship I have had, including my marriage, I was the initiator (the aggressor, I guess using the language of this thread.) Then the dance commenced.

    How un-9 of me lol! idk, just sensed the electric and went for it!
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
    9w1 so/sx


    It's been a sort of mutual thing, I guess. I tend to assume that people aren't interested in me. It's not that I can't read signs, but I still assume that it was an accident, or they are just very friendly, and don't want to risk looking like a fool, so I wait for beyond-a-doubt confirmation that there is a definite interest there, before I will do anything at all. When I am assured of that, however, I have no trouble being the one to try to make something of that mutual interest.

    I'm not sure if that answered anything.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    May 2009


    edit; i had 2 9 bfs, I pursued both. One even specifically told me he will NEVER made the first move if i dont do it...

  9. #9
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    6w7 so/sx
    EII Ne


    ^ ooh yeah i had a... guy friend... who was INFP and i would put money on him being a 9. we were never official... my usual style is pursue enough to let the person know i'm interested, and then let them make a move... usually they make a move because usually i go after Js... he never did... eventually one night we just ended up on his couch together and both of us kept scooting closer and then once i was pretty much in his lap it was kinda clear we were more than friends

  10. #10
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Jun 2010


    When it comes to the first couple of meet-ups with a new person, I tend to be the person being pursued (not always but....) After that, it depends if I take a liking to that person or if the other person is willing to get me to initiate meeting up with him/her.

    However, there are times I initiate contact.

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