[Type 9] Nines and Merging

[wolfy]

I'd like to talk more about this merging thing. What is that?

 

[Aristocrat]

Here's a little on that issue to start.

Excerpt from Riso-Hudson 9 overview:

"Subconsciously, they [type 9] desire to merge with someone else in order to incorporate through that person the qualities in themselves that they have repressed or rejected. Thus, their problem with instinct is twofold: by identifying with someone else, their sense of self eventually becomes ill defined and incomplete, so they do not relate the to world as individuals. Second, by identifying with someone else, Nines do not develop their potentials. Preserving their inner peace becomes their all-important motivation.


Tom Condon Workshop Type 9 interview (discussing merging):

YouTube - Enneagram Type 9

 

[MacGuffin]

I'm not so sure I identify "merging" with 9s as I do with sx.

 

[PeaceBaby]

I guess for me it's about sensing the emotions and expectations all around me and I start taking them on as though they are my own. I sense these different needs and can chameleon to fulfil them, if they are in a group or public setting.

If it is for my family, I feel like I am more "myself" but I am swept up into trying to make everything perfect for everyone. I don't feel like I chameleon as much but definitely try to make everything run smoothly and enhance everyone's well-being.

I am still working on this whole SO / SX / SP thing so can't comment on McG's thoughts.

I can tell you what it reminds me of though: Did you ever watch Star Trek TNG? There's an episode with a woman named Kamala, supposedly an "empathic metamorph". She can pick up what everyone expects from her (in a partner/sexual way). She becomes what they expect her or want her to be.

This is sort of how I think of it, anyway. (But this happens in all aspects of interaction, not specifically sexual.)

You can watch the whole episode: YouTube - Star Trek: The Next Generation - The Perfect Mate P1

 

[gromit]

Weird I was JUST thinking about this on the way home. How I feel a little bit slithery sometimes, just taking on the qualities that it seems like another person expects or wants of me, also moods and feelings and perspectives to a degree.

I was wondering if it is a nine thing or what and if other nines see it as a tendency that they want to try to counter-balance.