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[Type 2] The irony of TWOS in relationships

themarlins

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
117
More than anything they want to be appreciated. They want to feel wanted and needed. Ironically, at medium or unhealthy states, when they are wanted and appreciated, they do not like it. It only works when you don't want/need them. Hence, they can fall into a "wanting what they can't have" or even abusive relationship cycle.
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
More than anything they want to be appreciated. They want to feel wanted and needed. Ironically, at medium or unhealthy states, when they are wanted and appreciated, they do not like it. It only works when you don't want/need them. Hence, they can fall into a "wanting what they can't have" or even abusive relationship cycle.

I don't think that's characteristic of 2s in particular. A lot of unhealthy people are like that.
 

Rena

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2010
Messages
36
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
3w4
I think that's true, but Two's do seem to have perfected that particular dynamic of a relationship. One of my good friends is a Two, and she wrote an article about defining deal-breakers- it was funny, because that's not something I've ever articulated needing to do, but for her, it was something she had to give a lof of thought to. Twos struggle with those types of boundaries, and seem to be likely candidates for feeling/being taken advantage of at times. Here that article if you're interested...

“Deal Breaking” up is hard to do-ooo: Insights on being an Enneagram Two | AllPersonality.com
 

tinker683

Whackus Bonkus
Joined
Nov 8, 2009
Messages
2,882
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
More than anything they want to be appreciated. They want to feel wanted and needed. Ironically, at medium or unhealthy states, when they are wanted and appreciated, they do not like it. It only works when you don't want/need them. Hence, they can fall into a "wanting what they can't have" or even abusive relationship cycle.

it could also be that at that point in time we don't know what we want, so we think that what we need is appreciation and to feel wanted and its when we get it that we realize that we still feel a void within us.

Unhealthy twos are definitely not pretty. I've ended a couple of friendships during my unhealthy states because of my behavior :sorry:
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Is this really true? If so, that's interesting.
 

Haven

Blind Guardian
Joined
Apr 26, 2011
Messages
1,075
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
2w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
I guess there's a desire to win some people over, so yea there might be something to it.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
I think that's true, but Two's do seem to have perfected that particular dynamic of a relationship. One of my good friends is a Two, and she wrote an article about defining deal-breakers- it was funny, because that's not something I've ever articulated needing to do, but for her, it was something she had to give a lof of thought to. Twos struggle with those types of boundaries, and seem to be likely candidates for feeling/being taken advantage of at times. Here that article if you're interested...

“Deal Breaking” up is hard to do-ooo: Insights on being an Enneagram Two | AllPersonality.com

after reading that I'm curious if there's any corellation between twos and borderline personality disorder. I don't mean 2s have that and other types can't but i'm curious if unhealthy 2s can be dxed with that. I'm not a professional pure speculation on my part. I'm also not calling anyone on here borderline. I'm just curious.
 
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