[Type 9] 9s are wonderful :-)

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

Hi guys, can someone please explain to me the more problematic traits of type 9, because nearly everyone I know who is a 9 seems pretty perfect, they tend to have an innate warmth which fills the room, and yet a gentleness, dreaminess about them, even with an 8 wing...Thanks.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

I'am perfect, so I can't answer to your question.

No, seriously, I'd say to begin that we are at the center of the Gut Triad, and so we are conflicted between interior use and exterior use of the energy. We are not like 8 and 1 who know easily how take decision use their energy. The 8 is the Bad Boy, the 1 is the Right Boy. We are between the both believing that every positions are potentially good. We have an enormous amount of energy that we don't know how to use.

So the reflex is to avoid the question by narcotizing and withdrawing, to reach the peace and can decide between thoses different point of view. When he integrate in 3, the 9 unleash his energy, act and achieve, free of theses questions. When the 9w8 take decisions, he tend more to play the Bad Boy role, when the 9w1 take decisions, he tend more to play the Right Boy role.

That's how I personally feel about, though.

 

[Forever_Jung]

Nines can be neglectful, inattentive, long-winded, delusional, lazy, dependent, self-medicating, avoidant, the list goes on. They have all kinds of faults, just like any other type. I still know what you mean, they are very pleasant to be around.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

Nines can be neglectful, inattentive, long-winded, delusional, lazy, dependent, self-medicating, avoidant, the list goes on. They have all kinds of faults, just like any other type.

We can also be sexy.

 

[Forever_Jung]

We can also be sexy.

This is true.

 

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

We can also be sexy.[/QUOTE

I know, it's funny, my boyfriend sometimes has no idea he is being, it seems to just be natural. Of course I know all his negative traits too, not gonna list online cos that wouldn't be fair, but some are listed by Forever_Jung...yet all the 9s I know seem to have this air of 'I didn't mean to' which makes them more forgivable....Do you find this at all?

 

[cafe]

We want you to believe we're wonderful so you won't make life unpleasant for us and so that we can all be happy and at peace. The problem arises when our wonderfulness starts making us indispensable and we get tired and resentful.

I don't think too many people besides my husband consider me particularly sexy. Thankfully he's the only one that matters.

 

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

@ Cafe: You're picture is brilliant.

Yeah it isn't great to place an great amount of responsibility on some of my closer 9s, as they're likely to crack under the pressure of wanting to live up to their own mega high expectations and end up feeling like some sorta disappointment, or lashing out a bit...either way they usually don't disappoint.

Can't really say much about though cos (I think) I'm a four with a positive outlook (though striving to be unique and special isn't really my thing but whatever) ...but I'd rather avoid an issue than disappoint someone as well so...

 

[ilovereeses]

I noticed recently that whenever people say "Hi, how are you?" I usually just respond with "good." Not asking them how they're doing in return. I never really realized this before, but that's probably a bad thing.... I really do care about people and want them to be happy, but I don't think to ask how they're doing. I just don't think!

I'm a very unaware person.

 

[Speed Gavroche]

This is true.

Proof is my avatar with Angel, ENFJ 9w8 Sx/Sp and Spike, ISTP 9w8 sx/so along with Gunn, ISTP 8w9 Sp/So and Illyria INTJ 8w7 Sp/Sx, stand in the street, ready to face the Apocalypse.

 

[Unique]

Lol people are always hating on the 9s, especially in the "real world"

Thanks for the love

 

[cafe]

Ah. That explains it. I'm 9w1, not 9w8. I'm still mad that they killed Fred. Why can't Joss ever let anyone be happy?

 

[Speed Gavroche]

Ah. That explains it. I'm 9w1, not 9w8. I'm still mad that they killed Fred.

Oh, by the way, Fred is a 9w1 her, and a Sp/So INFP. Oz is a 9w1 too, and a Sp/Sx INTP. The INFJ character in Ats is Wesley, he is also a 1w9. Gunn is a 8w9, not a 9w8. Wesley was one of my favourite character, who have died as a true hero.

Don't you think that theses descriptions of the types stacking really fit with the characters?

Fred, Sp/So 9

This subtype is the most self-effacing of type Nine, possibly the least assertive of all the enneagram types. They can feel as though they have been looked over and passed by. While they do desire attention and recognition, with the sexual instinct last in the stacking, they seldom actively pursue it. They feel as though it’s just not worth it. This subtype is usually very deliberate and methodical in their speech. They sometimes get frustrated because they don’t feel that they can say what they really want to say. They are therefore often very short and concise with their communication, not wanting to provoke any confrontation. But when given a chance and the time to express themselves, they can be quite talkative. While self-pres needs are important to this type, the fact that they are essentially Nines, sometimes causes them to put the needs of others before their own. When under stress, this type is likely to do busy work, anything that distracts them from their problems.

In relationships, the self-pres instinct combines with the merging qualities of the Nine to make a person committed and connected strongly in areas of security, home and other practical matters. They merge their environment with their loved ones. On the down side, this subtype can be passive-aggressive and withdraw under stress, holding back affection. They could possibly go long periods of time without talking to their spouse directly.

Oz, Sp/Sx 9

This subtype is self-effacing also, but is generally more assertive. They may be the subtype of Nine which is most aware of the boundaries between themselves and others and at the same time, possibly the most frustrated when those boundaries are violated. They can be aware of being walked over and they might even be aware of the anger it causes, but they become frustrated with their seeming inability to control this pattern. This is true, to some degree, of all Nines, but with the self-pres/sexual instinctual stacking, there seems to be a complex and interesting balance between the withdrawing energy caused by the dominant self-pres instinct and the assertive energy of the sexual instinct. This combination seems to raise consciousness of this dynamic.

Getting healthy for this subtype, and for all Nines, involves becoming aware of this dynamic and realizing they do have the power to control their boundaries. Part of this must come from the realization on the part of the Nine that they have invited this overstepping of their boundaries from others by not defining them.
Close relationships will usually work or not for this subtype depending on how well they deal with this issue.

Angel, Sx/Sp 9

The energy of the sexual instinct is at odds with the dominant type Nine energy and makes for a conflicted subtype. These Nines can appear to have a stronger connection to Three, for this reason. The assertive fiery energy engages in a constant push-pull with the calm peace-seeking energy of the Nine. This subtype can have an intense relationship with their environment. They are often drawn to solo sports or to an active engagement with nature that involves some risk and exertion. These Nines are drawn to peak experiences. They might enjoy outdoor solo sports or engaging in nature by way of hiking, rock climbing etc.

With the social instinct last in the stacking, there can be an on/off quality when it comes to relating and these Nines are often somewhat moodier than the other subtypes. As with the self-pres/sexual, this subtype might not engage socially with the same smoothness as other subtypes of Nine. They seem to go towards others in a staccato fashion - they connect in bursts, then withdraw.

When it comes to intimate relationships, this subtype can be needy. The merging of the Nine combines with the intensity of the sexual instinct to create a subtype that will always be in danger of losing themselves in a relationship. Their boundaries for themselves and their partner can become blurred which can lead to conflicts. This subtype might have a hard time judging clearly the degree to which they have merged.

Spike, Sx/So 9

This subtype of Nine may appear least like a stereotypical Nine because the outward sexual and social energies obscure some of the withdrawing and "zoning out" tendencies of the Nine. These Nines are the most connected and assertive of the subtypes of Nine, especially when it comes to relationships. There is still some internal struggle, as with the sexual/self-pres, but overall there is less of a tendency to withdraw. With the self-pres instinct last, this subtype can neglect self-preservational needs in favor of the intensity of their sexual instinct's pursuits. Individuals of this subtype could easily be mistaken for the dominant wing, because the sexual energy tends to flow in a manner similar to the energy of the wing. A Nine with a One wing would therefore appear more One-like and a Nine with Eight might be mistaken for an Eight.

The central conflict for these Nines will still be in the realm of close intimate relationships and these Nines will have many of the same issues and challenges as the sexual/self-pres Nines.

Gunn, Sp/So 8

Self-pres/soc Eights are very self reliant. They are frequently entrepreneurial; the self-preservational instinct combines with the social to make a subtype that is very focused on the external environment. Self-pres/social Eights are the least dramatic of type Eight. They are "no nonsense" types. They can be introverted, especially when the Nine wing is dominant. But, even though they are often quiet, they are very much in control of themselves and their direction in life. On the high side, they make great business owners. They show a sense of fairness and have an instinctual drive to do what needs to be done. They know how to make decisions and aren’t afraid to implement them. Because the sexual instinct is last, they can sometimes be seen as difficult to warm up to. They can be seen as "all business."

This type has a tendency to see relationships as somehow "getting in the way." While they may desire a close romantic relationship, they don't want it if it is at the expense of their self-pres needs. They can appear Five-like in this way, as they are concerned about the demands a relationship might make on their time.

Illyria, Sp/Sx 8

This subtype is more fiery and impulsive. They still have the "no nonsense" approach to life, along with the "can do" attitude, but they exhibit more outward energy. Because the self-preservational instinct and the sexual instinct are in conflict, the one pulling in and the other pushing forward, they often have more of an on-off quality to them. But you will know where you stand with a self-pres/sexual Eight. Although their outward energy is in contrast to their inward self-pres energy, they have a very focused attitude in the areas of life in which the two energies coincide, such as the realm of family and close friendship, those things they are really passionate about. Their control over their intimate life will be noticeable. With the social instinct last in the instinctual stacking, this subtype can be blunt and confrontational with people who aren't in their inner circle.

The self-pres/sexual Eight feels very independent. They feel as though they need no one outside of the few people they are close to. On the down side, they have a tendendcy to distrust people and tend to challenge them to see where they stand. When healthier, they realize there is sometimes a greater strength in adopting a softer approach.

 

[Venom]

9s are generally indolent fools....



...

 

[Asterion]

Inertia!

And I keep reading stuff about 9s and their inability to keep in touch with their emotions or something. Can anyone spell that out nicely for me please???

Sweeping stuff they don't like under the rug is a problem too, I know I've often prefered to be ignorant to some uncertain things instead of finding out and being disapointed.

Apart from that, 9s are the top type

 

[ilovereeses]

And I keep reading stuff about 9s and their inability to keep in touch with their emotions or something. Can anyone spell that out nicely for me please???

When we feel pain, we distance ourselves from our emotions, making us feel numb in a way.
In my experience, I've distanced myself so much that it's a habit and happens automatically whenever something intense happens. It's a gift and a curse...that's why it's hard for me, personally, to fall in love again, because I got hurt really bad a few years ago and withdrew.

 

[four]

I know so many nines. They're wonderful in a lot of ways, particularly energy-wise, when they're doing well. But under pressure they can become completely dissociated, unable to deal with their own or others' emotions, with a really high level of anxiety, and can become really passive-aggressive. They can all of a sudden snap and get angry, especially if there's an 8 wing, like a pressure cooker. They can be the kings and queens of avoidance and denial and dissociation. They use problematic behavior to numb out and become inaccessible, as if they have an impenetrable wall around them, which can be maddening if you are very close to them or need to have an emotionally loaded conversation. It's not pretty. I've been involved in different ways (romantic relationships, family members) with some really problematic nines.

All types go good and bad places, so it's okay, I forgive them... god knows as a four I've probably not been the easiest to deal with at times

 

[phthalocyanine]

nines have the ability to make everyone feel like being themselves is not only okay, but wonderful and valuable.
they often make great advisers, mentors, and teachers for this very reason.

they may not be so good at encouraging themselves in this way, but what they can do for others is tremendous.

 

[FalseHeartDothKnow]

I know, it seems they have a natural talent for making people seem beautiful and worthy, even when that person might be kinda mean or dark to everyone else

 

[Rainne]

9s are wonderful

thnx man =)