[Type 4] Enneagram 4 - Identity Crisis

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

It just occurred to me that every time I see posts asking for a single picture, word, character, whatever it may be, that would sum up who you are... I am completely and perpetually unable to answer them.

I will sit and put serious thought into what mine could be but ultimately I cant bring myself to pick just one... so I give up.

Is it the knowledge that I am human and therefore complex to the point of being unable to pin myself down to one thing... or is it a true lack of understanding of WHO I really am that brings the confusion...

Ahhhh to be a 4.

 

[garbage]

3w4 here, and I identify very strongly with the 4.

I can usually pick a single word to describe me at any given point.. but then I'll end up picking a different word when I'm asked again later.

I've come across some of my old posts in some threads here and thought that I don't identify with them as much as I must have when I wrote them, and I've only been around for three months or so. When I go back and read the context, though, I can "make sense" of what I wrote.

The main core concept that I do hold is that there's a time and a place for everything. This probably manifests itself as a need to fill all times and all places and being everything to everyone, which requires a very malleable and adaptable mindset, which leads to a lack of feeling of identity..

That said, I'm always being told that I'm not "typical" in whatever role I play. I distinctly remember hearing from others that I'm not a typical church-goer, I'm not a typical engineer, I'm not a typical psychologist, I'm not a typical clubber, I'm not a typical ENTJ. I'm an extrovert among introverts and an introvert among extroverts, a feeler amongst the T's and a cold, calculating thinker to my feeler friends.

It's kind of a strange yet refreshing feeling, belonging everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It's as if I have a niche everywhere I go, but that niche also sets me apart from others in the same environment.

I'm finding that the solution has to be letting the whole concept of identity go. That seems to be difficult for me to come to terms with, because I've felt that my varied experiences had the purpose of constructing an identity in the first place. Part of me feels like it would be a waste to let it all go, despite the fact that it really wouldn't be.

Perhaps letting go of identity just means not thinking about it as much.

 

[Moiety]

I've scored 8w9 and 9w8. Aggressive and peace-making. How's that for an identity crisis?