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[Type 8] Becoming a Healthier 8

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
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10,235
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Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
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sx/sp
This thread is for sharing or asking for advice/tips/information on becoming healthier and dealing with common issues relevant to enneatype.

To start us off, here are some tips from the Enneagram Institute:
  • It goes against the grain, but act with self-restraint. You show true power when you forbear from asserting your will with others, even when you could. Your real power lies in your ability to inspire and uplift people. You are at your best when you take charge and help everyone through a crisis. Few will take advantage of you when you are caring, and you will do more to secure the loyalty and devotion of others by showing the greatness of your heart than you ever could by displays of raw power.
  • It is difficult for Eights, but learn to yield to others, at least occasionally. Often, little is really at stake, and you can allow others to have their way without fear of sacrificing your power, or your real needs. The desire to dominate everyone all the time is a sign that your ego is beginning to inflate—a danger signal that more serious conflicts with others are inevitable.
  • Remember that the world is not against you. Many people in your life care about you and look up to you, but when you are in your fixation, you do not make this easy for them. Let in the affection that is available. Doing this will not make you weak, but will confirm the strength and support in yourself and your life. Also remember that by believing that others are against you and reacting against them, you tend to alienate them and confirm your own fears. Take stock of the people who truly are on your side, and let them know how important they are to you.
  • Eights typically want to be self-reliant and depend on no one. But, ironically, they depend on many people. For example, you may think that you are not dependent on your employees because they depend on you for their jobs. You could dismiss them at any time and hire other workers. Everyone is expendable in your little kingdom—except you. But the fact is that you are dependent on others to do their jobs too, especially if your business concerns grow beyond what you can manage alone. But if you alienate everyone associated with you, you will eventually be forced to employ the most obsequious and untrustworthy operatives. When you do, you will have reason to question their loyalty and to fear losing your position. The fact is that whether in your business world or your domestic life, your self-sufficiency is largely an illusion.
  • Eights typically overvalue power. Having power, whether through wealth, position, or simple brute force, allows them to do whatever they want, to feel important, to be feared and obeyed. But those who are attracted to you because of your power do not love you for yourself, nor do you love or respect them. While this may be the Faustian bargain you have made, you will nevertheless have to pay the price that whatever power you accumulated will inevitably be at a cost to you, physically and emotionally.
 

Sacrophagus

Mastermind Fieldmarshal
Joined
Jul 11, 2017
Messages
1,702
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
854
But those who are attracted to you because of your power do not love you for yourself

Ouch. I know a bunch who fear me. They speak with respect and sweet talk out of fear. I have articulated that our relationship is based on maintaining mutual interest, mainly their interest, so I do know what I'm dealing with nor do I care if they loved me.

Those who love me - the virtuous people- have no reason to fear me.
 

Luminous

༻✧✧༺
Joined
Oct 25, 2017
Messages
10,235
MBTI Type
Iᑎᖴᑭ
Enneagram
952
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
10495001_854434804603694_850884750016266653_o.jpg
 

devaf

Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2014
Messages
38
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
The one thing that works unfailingly, that can take one from the low end of the health spectrum to the top, is Surrender to the Divine.

I believe this is touched upon in enneagram theory somewhere. But, I have no recollection where I read this.
 
Last edited:

indra

is
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
1,413
MBTI Type
jedi
Enneagram
8
Every slug you scrape from your boot makes room for another slug.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
That entire myth fed to 8's - that people won't respect unless they fear you - yeah that can get shot into the sun. That whole - they don't have to fear me - also shot into the sun because it's extremely likely the 8 is applying the first bit of non-logic to a relationship and it makes no difference what that relationship is.

Being an 8 and female gives a distinct advantage in being able to see things a little more clearly here. I don't rely on or trust people but I understand what interpersonal advantages it has if I modify my stance. So I did. Growth is always possible. I let people do their jobs, without meddling or micromanaging and don't blow things out of proportion. But people who don't listen to facts, I want to throttle. I didn't say I was perfect.

Eights typically overvalue power. This should be comment #1. Most 8's are not powerful in the way they imagine they are. This is why many of them comment on their perceived power and how bad ass it is, so on so forth. It look ridiculous, not to mention unhealthy and people won't look to the 8 for leadership. They'll walk away thinking the 8 probably needs professional help. So stop doing it.
 
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