[Tritype] MBTI Thinkers with a 4 trifix

[EJCC]

What’s that like for y’all?

 

[EJCC]

I might post something longer and more thoughtful later, but. For me it manifests as un-self-conscious quirkiness and a whole lot of Snape-ing, per this:

19 Of The Best Harry Potter Related Insults

19. Snape: For your moody co-worker, who bottles up their emotions.

"So sorry to hear of your break-up. How are you doing?"

"I am fine. I feel nothing. Get back to work."

"Well if you need to talk you know where to find me. Don't be a Snape though, you saw how that worked out for him in the end."

 

[Coriolis]

How is that illustration related to 4?

 

[EJCC]

How is that illustration related to 4?

4ish moodiness + MBTI-related tendency to disregard one’s own feelings if they’re irrelevant to the task at hand. More of a TJ example, probably.

 

[Coriolis]

4ish moodiness + MBTI-related tendency to disregard one’s own feelings if they’re irrelevant to the task at hand. More of a TJ example, probably.

I'm sure this is a really dumb question, but what exactly do you mean by moodiness? I'm trying to see if some of my personal experiences fit the bill or are actually something else and likely unrelated to 4.

 

[EJCC]

I'm sure this is a really dumb question, but what exactly do you mean by moodiness? I'm trying to see if some of my personal experiences fit the bill or are actually something else and likely unrelated to 4.

Reciprocating your feelings (i.e. I feel dumb attempting to define this and probably failing): I think I would define someone as moody if they regularly feel a lot of feelings very deeply. If they are more even-keeled and with less emotional range then I would say they are not moody.

What is your tritype, btw? I could see you having either 3 or 4 as your heart fix. Probably 4w3.

Edit: per the traditional definition, I think you’d have to be able to see some of that moodiness from the outside for it to count. Snape is a great example of that - clear TJ but also clearly someone who actively tries to restrain all their feelings from day to day.

 

[Coriolis]

Reciprocating your feelings (i.e. I feel dumb attempting to define this and probably failing): I think I would define someone as moody if they regularly feel a lot of feelings very deeply. If they are more even-keeled and with less emotional range then I would say they are not moody.

What is your tritype, btw? I could see you having either 3 or 4 as your heart fix. Probably 4w3.

Edit: per the traditional definition, I think you’d have to be able to see some of that moodiness from the outside for it to count. Snape is a great example of that - clear TJ but also clearly someone who actively tries to restrain all their feelings from day to day.

What do you mean by "reciprocating your feelings"? I thought reciprocation would involve another person somehow. In any case, the rest makes sense. I have always considered myself 4 rather than 3. For the most part I am quite even-keeled, but when something untoward comes along, it can really have an impact. I am pretty good at restraining it, but it can take a great deal of effort, and catch me off guard. I'm not sure if that fits within what you were describing.

 

[Maou]

I think I am very 4w3 but I am not sure on core type.

Simply put, life is suffering.

 

[EJCC]

What do you mean by "reciprocating your feelings"?

Just that you expressed feeling like you were saying something dumb - and I also felt like I was saying something dumb. Lol. (To be fair I don't think either of us were being dumb.)

In any case, the rest makes sense. I have always considered myself 4 rather than 3. For the most part I am quite even-keeled, but when something untoward comes along, it can really have an impact. I am pretty good at restraining it, but it can take a great deal of effort, and catch me off guard. I'm not sure if that fits within what you were describing.

I think that sounds right. I also think that the part of the OP topic that I've been most curious about is the dynamic between the natural inclination to wall off your feelings (T) and the desire to be entirely emotionally honest with yourself (4). For me, at best, that dynamic is very awkward and unnatural, and at worst, could be compared to conducting a study on a virus while also trying to destroy it. And I wonder how common that is / if I'm onto anything.

 

[Coriolis]

Just that you expressed feeling like you were saying something dumb - and I also felt like I was saying something dumb. Lol. (To be fair I don't think either of us were being dumb.)


I think that sounds right. I also think that the part of the OP topic that I've been most curious about is the dynamic between the natural inclination to wall off your feelings (T) and the desire to be entirely emotionally honest with yourself (4). For me, at best, that dynamic is very awkward and unnatural, and at worst, could be compared to conducting a study on a virus while also trying to destroy it. And I wonder how common that is / if I'm onto anything.

I guess it's not so much that I feel the need to be emotionally dishonest. To the extent that I address my emotions, I want to be honest about it. I would just prefer not to do it most of the time. But then when something come along that really sets them off, I have to do something, but rarely have good options.

 

[Maou]

I think that sounds right. I also think that the part of the OP topic that I've been most curious about is the dynamic between the natural inclination to wall off your feelings (T) and the desire to be entirely emotionally honest with yourself (4). For me, at best, that dynamic is very awkward and unnatural, and at worst, could be compared to conducting a study on a virus while also trying to destroy it. And I wonder how common that is / if I'm onto anything.

Its like being at war with your self, and one side wins on a case by case basis. Learning to control the outcome of that war will make a difference. But youre always left feeling like crap either way.

 

[Coriolis]

Its like being at war with your self, and one side wins on a case by case basis. Learning to control the outcome of that war will make a difference. But youre always left feeling like crap either way.

With me, walling off wins out hands down, every time. It's just a matter of how much effort it will take, and how much of a toll it will exact. It does get easier with time/practice.

 

[Totenkindly]

The Four part of me is more whimsical, it softens me up in some ways. it also takes me into more intuitive places, it makes self-expression really important to me (versus just stating what I see) -- it reflects on me as a person in some way rather than being completely detached, it also leads me to feel like I need to leave some kind of mark that uniquely identifies me. it also means inside I can feel very dramatic about something -- things can become very personal to me, even while it's always nailed to the floor by the Five aspect and I don't allow myself to respond to it. But it's there and needs attention, so it can be very frustrating to experience.

I feel like Four and Five are very much at odds at time, Five is always trying to keep things to rational and stable conclusions and decision-making, but the Four demands recognition, and needs to FEEL something. The more I FEEL, the more ALIVE I feel. It doesn't matter when it's something wonderful or something horrible, it's the intensity of the experience that most matters. I mean, pain isn't great, but it's still an intense emotion and it can be wielded and channeled to make an impression on something.

So as you've got Four working herself up into everything being some kind of ultimate intense experience of good vs bad, lovely vs ugly, meanwhile you're got Five there keeping an eye on things -- processing it, keeping perspective, trying to learn something through it, and keeping Four from acting on it externally. All the drama is internalized.

(In that sense, the Nine is also a moderating force for me -- it keeps Four drama from acting out, by keeping things stable, and balanced, and trying to keep the peace. You've really got Five and Nine keeping things stable; Five brings sense to things, while Four brings the chaos and life to it. They have learned to coexist with one another rather than abusing or smooshing down each other... which is what Five used to do with Four all the time, but Four never really stood for it. To be honest, Five has realized there are some times when her rational process is being too restrictive and only Four has the drive and intensity, even the desire, to deal with something. So it's become more of a marriage now.)

I also think that the part of the OP topic that I've been most curious about is the dynamic between the natural inclination to wall off your feelings (T) and the desire to be entirely emotionally honest with yourself (4).

Well, parts of that were not a problem -- Five (with its understand of cause/effect and its quick insight) coupled with Four's ruthless honesty meant I struggled a lot with self-loathing and internally brutalizing myself and others. The "brutalizing" comes from having an unrealistic superego construct growing up, so I was never good enough and nor was anyone else, I could see every imperfection and flaw. As an adult, I moderated my perfectionism and expectations better, and so I could "forgive" a lot more even if my passion and understanding did not change. The biggest difficulty for me was honesty in the sense of "if I feel an emotion, it's okay to feel it and sometimes I even need to act on it to change my life, rather than subjecting it to excruciating rational scrutiny." IOW my happiness as a person sometimes meant accepting my passions as a reflection of truth, even if I couldn't explain them; and that it was okay to even hold personal values. For example, maybe I can't foolproof explain why altruism is better, or why freedom is better, or why kindness is better, or why I believe all people should be treated a certain way regardless of gender or skin color or culture or age or whatever else (some of these things, of course, I CAN argue for and probably convincingly) ... but where I got to in the last decade of my life is that I no longer need to explain any of it. It's stuff I "believe" and I don't have to apologize for it or cloak it all the time. I also don't need to keep apologizing for who I am, or not expect to be treated like everyone else.

So that's kind where integrating Four into a Five mindset was most obvious.

 

[Maou]

With me, walling off wins out hands down, every time. It's just a matter of how much effort it will take, and how much of a toll it will exact. It does get easier with time/practice.

I have definately walled off most of my life, but then switched to embracing my emotions as I felt out of touch and desired that stimulation. What resulted was a constant back and forth of my idealized self, and self awareness of what I actually was. Then rationally trying to make sense of it through force of will. So I actually eventually did become my idealized self over time, but at the same time felt inauthentic. Then it repeats, consistantly. Sometimes undoing what I idealized myself to be. So my sense of self seems amorphose and or not real.

If that makes sense.

 

[EJCC]

More later, but:

With me, walling off wins out hands down, every time. It's just a matter of how much effort it will take, and how much of a toll it will exact. It does get easier with time/practice.

I have been actively trying to unlearn this tendency and find some sort of middle ground. Walling off has eaten away at me for years.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

This dude claims to be an INTP and a 4:

YouTube

 

[Boogie man]

This dude claims to be an INTP and a 4:

YouTube

I thought he typed at 7, did he change his mind?

7 is def closer for him. He's a head type.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

I thought he typed at 7, did he change his mind?

7 is def closer for him. He's a head type.

I'm not sure, very well possible he changed his mind. This was a few years ago that I remember him mentioning being a 4.

 

[EJCC]

Ugh [MENTION=7]Totenkindly[/MENTION] your post is so good. Got to wait until I’m on a real computer (not my cell phone, where I’m typing this from) before I can reply in a way that does it justice.

I have definately walled off most of my life, but then switched to embracing my emotions as I felt out of touch and desired that stimulation. What resulted was a constant back and forth of my idealized self, and self awareness of what I actually was. Then rationally trying to make sense of it through force of will. So I actually eventually did become my idealized self over time, but at the same time felt inauthentic. Then it repeats, consistantly. Sometimes undoing what I idealized myself to be. So my sense of self seems amorphose and or not real.

If that makes sense.

I relate to the heel face turn part of this. I had a similar trajectory in high school - I decided at some point that I wasn’t a good enough person and needed to be better, and that meant launching headfirst into active listening and putting other people before myself. Took me til junior year of college to realize that I had gone too far to the other extreme, defining myself on how well I was able to accommodate others to the point of codependence. What it took to achieve moderation was digging deep to determine where on the spectrum I am naturally inclined to be - behaving in the way that is most natural to me, and not allowing myself to feel guilty about being me.

 

[Mind Maverick]

What’s that like for y’all?

It's pretty typical for INTPs. Most INTPs are probably 459. Just look at them and you'll know how it is.
As for me, I'm not even sure I'm a 4 fixxer.