littleviolet
New member
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2018
- Messages
- 10
Hi Everybody! I was very pleased with the answers to my previous thread (it was about deciding my MBTI type), so I resolved that I will make a similar post but this time about my enneagram type. I found this questionnare, thought it would be easier to organise my thoughts. (My MBTI is ISFJ; socionics ISFp sensory subtype).
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
What makes me unsure? Every single characteristic of mine that doesn't fit the given type description. It's very hard for me to settle with one conclusion.
I've read two and a half books about enneagram and spent hours of reasearching on the internet. I think the main reasons why I'm confused are because of the flush of massive information that I learned in a short time. I took many tests, most of the time I got 5 or 6 as a result. However, I don't really belive in these tests... (taking MBTI tests, I almost never gotten ISFJ).
1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I'm chilled, feeling very neutral and uneasey to 'shake me up'.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
It's like being very cautious about the surroundings and at the same time being in your head all day. I'm full of contradictions, it's hard for me to determine who am I really. I'm in considerable trepidation about what others or society thinks about me (even if I rarely admit it) and often act upon it (aand even if it doesn't mach my personal beliefs). Also, I' m constanly ponder on something funny or comical to say.
b. What have others said about you?
My friends said that they never met someone like me - one of them told me that I view the world very differntly from them (although she couldn't explained it further). I've got feedback that I don't have too much self-confidence, I'm funny and imaginative, great writer, sometimes insensitive, but most of the times accepting. Some said that they feel that they need to 'protect me', because overally I'm very sensitive but I'm good at hiding it (I hardly reveal if I'm hurt).
c. What do you think of yourself?
I overthink too much (who doesn't) and for some irrational reason I always search for some inspirational motive in my life. You know...waiting for the perfect moment to start a better life. In my opinion I will never break through my boundaries because of my cowardness. Not that I hate myself, I'm just disappointed beacuse I have the potential.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
My main issue is about my mother. She is sick mentally and this made a huge impact ony my childhood. I was always afraid to make even the smallest mistake because there were huge consequences (usually verbal harassment, but often physical too). Thanks to that I learned how to lie and manipulate information (for my own good), how be unnoticable. Now it's a little easier, I'm in univeristy far from home, but I' m just sweeping the issues under the carpet. I talked to a psychologist about it but it just made all worse.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Honesty is one of my weak spots. I'm afraid that I offend people with my words so I tend to modify the truth a bit.
Another thing is that I can be quite partial and blinfolded about something I genuinely love and can't see it's inaccuracy. Although, generaly I'm not opinionated, not much phenomen grabs my attention.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Honesty, more objectivity and to be more sociable.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I left a group of friend because of different opinions on a person. This person was not an angel, she did many wrong things but I thought nobody deserves the loathing she recieved. My friends didn't agree with me, so basically I wasn't the one who left, they kicked me out, haha. But luckily, meanwhile this I changed school, so I found new friends.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
a. How do you relate to these types?
I relate to the Six's anxiety, responsibility and suspicious nature, also feel like they are as contradicted as me. I also share similarity with the Five's withdrawness,I like to observe EVERYTHING and than make theories. Like to be the 'smart, wise' one in the group. Finally I feel conneceted with the Fourth type by their imagination, desire to be unique and envying others.
How do you NOT relate to them?
Argh...It's hard to say, I relate too much to them. I guess I'm not that 6-ish, 5-ish.... I mean sometimes my anxiety just simply evaporates and I'm 'super chill' (okay, not too often); I'm not really an expert in anything (well, to be honest (hahaha.), these personality theories might be my 'thing'- nothing fascinated me like this before) and about the Fours...feel like their temperament is too dramatic for my (kinda) aloof spirit. I'm just sick being uncertain about myself and who am I.
7. Which types are least like you?
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
I think the type Three is that has the least common things with me. I was never success, prestige oriented... I mean I just want harmony and happiness in my life. I never understood people who cut corners just to accomplish something-how can they deal with their conscience later?
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
I hate when someone is disappointed in me (one of my biggest fears).
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Well...I'm just waiting fo it
. Seriously. I never initiate and I'm usually distant and formal when someone approaches me, but when I make sure of their trustworthiness, I open up slowly and become warm and passionate with them.
9. What is the message your superego tells you? Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
I'm extremely harsh with myself and sarcastic too but there is normally another 'voice' that is forgiving at the same time... These two voices argue a lot. The 'bad voice' is generally telling that she isn't suprised of my acts, wasn't expecting improvement from me, why don't I give up. Buuuut the nice one is always there for me, sadly she's the weaker one most of the time.
10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I would like to a be social, warm person, who is not afraid to stand up against the weak ones, who can say the hurting truth without hurting, who has goals in her life (something to fight for) and not just going with the flow...Someone who is not always afraid of what others might say, who has her own path. Someone who is the hero of her own life, and not just the sideman of it.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
4.- to be "okay", having it together
7.- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
2.- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
5.- to be knowlegeable
1.- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
9.- to be accomplished and successful
8.- to strive to become/behave like a good person
6.- to be a loveable person
3.- to be loving and benevolent
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Okay, I will write about the good stuff here. I can't thank them enough for my religion. This is a really big part of my life, I wouldn't be the same person without it. When I was started the question the behaviour of my parents, their faith was the only thing that remained unquestionned in me.
Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
The bold ones are which I realate.
- I must do everything to maintain my world
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
- People have wronged and messed with me
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being rejectable
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Being unaccepted by loved one's because of a major disappointment I made. Feeling their anger and later they leave me alone because they don't care anymore and I'm not worthy for their mercy.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious: Not really, learned to suppress and hide my needs (even sacrifice it).
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved: Same as above- I seldom express my need for love, because I rather suffer from not having enough from it than I being rejected.
- Weak and not being on top of things: Don't like to be the weak one, but mostly just in things I have connection with it (sooo don't care about that I'm bad at sports etc.)
- Failure: Hahah, I wouldn't elaborate more, if you don't mind.
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost: Generally yes, although I don't have problem with sadness.
- Entanglements and losing what I have: Like what? Not really.
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough: Something is 100% wrong with me (I like to be called crazy), the other part is more frightening (e.g.I'm not good enough for my mom...)
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan: Nope, not afraid.
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.: Hmm, maybe, but I think I have concrete fears.
Can't believe I finished it. Damn it, I was writing this for 3 hours. Nice. (I'm not a native speaker, I'm Hungarian).
Sorry for mistakes, graceful for every insight!
0. What's making you unsure of your type? What research have you already done to determine type?
What makes me unsure? Every single characteristic of mine that doesn't fit the given type description. It's very hard for me to settle with one conclusion.
I've read two and a half books about enneagram and spent hours of reasearching on the internet. I think the main reasons why I'm confused are because of the flush of massive information that I learned in a short time. I took many tests, most of the time I got 5 or 6 as a result. However, I don't really belive in these tests... (taking MBTI tests, I almost never gotten ISFJ).1. Establish a "baseline mood"--when you're at home with nothing to do, where are you at mentally and emotionally? What do you notice in yourself? (Note, this is not a mood you inhabit "frequently", but your psychological baseline).
I'm chilled, feeling very neutral and uneasey to 'shake me up'.
2. Describe yourself--
a. What's it like to be you?
It's like being very cautious about the surroundings and at the same time being in your head all day. I'm full of contradictions, it's hard for me to determine who am I really. I'm in considerable trepidation about what others or society thinks about me (even if I rarely admit it) and often act upon it (aand even if it doesn't mach my personal beliefs). Also, I' m constanly ponder on something funny or comical to say.
b. What have others said about you?
My friends said that they never met someone like me - one of them told me that I view the world very differntly from them (although she couldn't explained it further). I've got feedback that I don't have too much self-confidence, I'm funny and imaginative, great writer, sometimes insensitive, but most of the times accepting. Some said that they feel that they need to 'protect me', because overally I'm very sensitive but I'm good at hiding it (I hardly reveal if I'm hurt).
c. What do you think of yourself?
I overthink too much (who doesn't) and for some irrational reason I always search for some inspirational motive in my life. You know...waiting for the perfect moment to start a better life. In my opinion I will never break through my boundaries because of my cowardness. Not that I hate myself, I'm just disappointed beacuse I have the potential.
3. What are the issues you've dealt with in life? List some recurrent themes, and tell us a little about each one.
My main issue is about my mother. She is sick mentally and this made a huge impact ony my childhood. I was always afraid to make even the smallest mistake because there were huge consequences (usually verbal harassment, but often physical too). Thanks to that I learned how to lie and manipulate information (for my own good), how be unnoticable. Now it's a little easier, I'm in univeristy far from home, but I' m just sweeping the issues under the carpet. I talked to a psychologist about it but it just made all worse.
4. You're not good at everything--
a. What personality traits and/or ways of being are impossible for you to adopt?
Honesty is one of my weak spots. I'm afraid that I offend people with my words so I tend to modify the truth a bit.
Another thing is that I can be quite partial and blinfolded about something I genuinely love and can't see it's inaccuracy. Although, generaly I'm not opinionated, not much phenomen grabs my attention.
b. What are qualities you'd like to have, but can't seem to develop?
Honesty, more objectivity and to be more sociable.
5. Why have you left friends and other relationships in the past and/or why have they left you?
I left a group of friend because of different opinions on a person. This person was not an angel, she did many wrong things but I thought nobody deserves the loathing she recieved. My friends didn't agree with me, so basically I wasn't the one who left, they kicked me out, haha. But luckily, meanwhile this I changed school, so I found new friends.
6. Which types do you identify with most?
a. How do you relate to these types?
I relate to the Six's anxiety, responsibility and suspicious nature, also feel like they are as contradicted as me. I also share similarity with the Five's withdrawness,I like to observe EVERYTHING and than make theories. Like to be the 'smart, wise' one in the group. Finally I feel conneceted with the Fourth type by their imagination, desire to be unique and envying others.
How do you NOT relate to them?
Argh...It's hard to say, I relate too much to them. I guess I'm not that 6-ish, 5-ish.... I mean sometimes my anxiety just simply evaporates and I'm 'super chill' (okay, not too often); I'm not really an expert in anything (well, to be honest (hahaha.), these personality theories might be my 'thing'- nothing fascinated me like this before) and about the Fours...feel like their temperament is too dramatic for my (kinda) aloof spirit. I'm just sick being uncertain about myself and who am I.
7. Which types are least like you?
a. Why specifically do you not relate to these types?
I think the type Three is that has the least common things with me. I was never success, prestige oriented... I mean I just want harmony and happiness in my life. I never understood people who cut corners just to accomplish something-how can they deal with their conscience later?
b. What points (if any) DO you relate to?
I hate when someone is disappointed in me (one of my biggest fears).
8. They claim enneagram type is a hidden love need. What are your attitudes toward finding love?
Well...I'm just waiting fo it
. Seriously. I never initiate and I'm usually distant and formal when someone approaches me, but when I make sure of their trustworthiness, I open up slowly and become warm and passionate with them.9. What is the message your superego tells you? Consider a time when you felt poorly about yourself--this means your ego (i.e. YOU) is receiving negative feedback from your superego. Write a conversation between the two of them--what is your superego telling you about how to be? (Note: this obviously is very personal and may be better done privately. Report your findings).
I'm extremely harsh with myself and sarcastic too but there is normally another 'voice' that is forgiving at the same time... These two voices argue a lot
. The 'bad voice' is generally telling that she isn't suprised of my acts, wasn't expecting improvement from me, why don't I give up. Buuuut the nice one is always there for me, sadly she's the weaker one most of the time.10. Determine your ego ideal--the way you strive to be and want others to perceive you. (Note, you may be consciously aware of failing at this, and you will be hard on yourself if you do. If someone else tells you you're NOT this way, it may make you feel hurt, violated, or angry.)
I would like to a be social, warm person, who is not afraid to stand up against the weak ones, who can say the hurting truth without hurting, who has goals in her life (something to fight for) and not just going with the flow...Someone who is not always afraid of what others might say, who has her own path. Someone who is the hero of her own life, and not just the sideman of it.
Which of the following ideals resonate with you the most, and why? Rank them.
4.- to be "okay", having it together
7.- to be devoted and loyal to a person or cause
2.- to be sensitive, original, unique, and creative
5.- to be knowlegeable
1.- to be powerful, strong, unassailable.
9.- to be accomplished and successful
8.- to strive to become/behave like a good person
6.- to be a loveable person
3.- to be loving and benevolent
11. Determine your "felt sense" of life. To do this it may help to look at how you perceive events. Another way to do this is to look back at your childhood and think of all the things your parents did to you. How did you/do you feel about these events?
Okay, I will write about the good stuff here
. I can't thank them enough for my religion. This is a really big part of my life, I wouldn't be the same person without it. When I was started the question the behaviour of my parents, their faith was the only thing that remained unquestionned in me.Here are some common "felt senses" of life:
The bold ones are which I realate.
- I must do everything to maintain my world
- I have a sense of being unimportant, insignificant, and undeserving of attention
- I feel imperfect, not (good) enough
- I have been abandoned and I am inherently flawed
- I'm outside the natural unfoldment of things
- People have wronged and messed with me
- I feel isolated, cut off, and ultimately separate
- I have felt weak and/or vulnerable to attack
- I've had a sense of being rejectable
12. Core fears. You may have been aware of these fears even as a very small child, before anyone did anything to influence it. You'd be mortified to be in this position or have others perceive you this way.
Being unaccepted by loved one's because of a major disappointment I made. Feeling their anger and later they leave me alone because they don't care anymore and I'm not worthy for their mercy.
Discuss which fears have played the greatest role in your life:
- Creating conflict by making myself or my needs too obvious: Not really, learned to suppress and hide my needs (even sacrifice it).
- Rejection, being needy, and not being loved: Same as above- I seldom express my need for love, because I rather suffer from not having enough from it than I being rejected.
- Weak and not being on top of things: Don't like to be the weak one, but mostly just in things I have connection with it (sooo don't care about that I'm bad at sports etc.)
- Failure: Hahah, I wouldn't elaborate more, if you don't mind.
- Being abandoned, sadness, feeling lost: Generally yes, although I don't have problem with sadness.
- Entanglements and losing what I have: Like what? Not really.
- Something is basically wrong with me--I'm not good enough: Something is 100% wrong with me (I like to be called crazy), the other part is more frightening (e.g.I'm not good enough for my mom...)
- Boredom, grunt work, and being exposed as a charlatan: Nope, not afraid.
- A lot--everything and everyone to one degree or another. It's very generalized.: Hmm, maybe, but I think I have concrete fears.
Can't believe I finished it. Damn it, I was writing this for 3 hours. Nice. (I'm not a native speaker, I'm Hungarian).
Sorry for mistakes, graceful for every insight!
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