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  1. #1
    Junior Member punkermit's Avatar
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    Question Do you determine your Instinct Variant Stacking based on want, effort or effect?

    Presently I am thoroughly confused by how to determine my or other people's instinctual variant stackings, and I am realizing part of the confusion originates from when determining the variant stacking, some people have different orders in how much they want and value each instinct vs how much effort they put into each vs how effective they are with each.

    Using myself as an example, how much I want each instinct, in order from most to least:

    SP
    SO
    SX


    How much effort I put into each instinct, how often it is on my mind, causing me anxiety, in order from most to least:

    SO (by far the most)
    SP
    SX


    How effective I am with each, how good I am at satisfying each, how much I get to enjoy each instinct, in order from most to least:

    SX
    SP
    SO (suck at it )


    In cases like this, should I decide the stacking based on want or effort or effect or some sort of combination of all three? Am I missing some other factors all together? Any thoughts?
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  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I tend to look at my most basic drives and what I gravitate towards.

    I know my least worry is Social, I'm not great at it, trying to invest in that level of network is exhausting and non-intuitive rather than natural and instinctive, and it annoys me deeply to have to invest in it even though I know it would improve my options in life and work -- not talking about "socializing" of course but that web of more professional basis and more casual acquaintance and feeling comfortable staying at the level and leveraging it for the things it is good for. It's not something I do naturally or think naturally in terms of.

    I still tend to vacillate between Self-pres and Sexual. I find I naturally hold onto resources and like to stock up; nowadays I'm better at sharing what I have, but I tend to have a tight control over my time and resources and don't like it when people "invade" into those things. I like the certainty of knowing exactly what I have and I mentally allocate everything so I'm not caught 'without'. But I also find that I feel a deep sense of loss and emptiness when I'm not connecting deeply with individuals -- when I meet people, unless I can learn their "core" quickly, I can get bored and indifferent. I'm always looking for what is under the surface and deeply motivating.

    Those two drives war in me, typically -- the need to control everything around me and know what I have, versus wanting to deeply connect and "merge" almost with others on an individual level.

    So that's how I understand myself as some form of sx/sp or sp/sx.
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    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft
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  3. #3
    ƃuıǝǝs | seeing Snow as White's Avatar
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    I read somewhere that the dominant function is unhealthy and that the aux is healthier/more mature.

    so i knew i was either sx/sp or sp/sx and felt that my need for that kind of intense relationship trumped my need for comfort and personal safety.

    social things... they feel like objects sitting in my peripheral vision when my eyes have adjusted to the darkness, and i turn to look at them and they disappear.
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  4. #4
    also known as Chry Terralynn's Avatar
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    Sx is on my mind for an unfulfilled desire, So in the form of anxiety, Sp is natural and would be useless to think aboutSx is what I want to desire, not necessarily showing in practice however as I'm very lacking in energy and tend towards familiarity. But I still have my eyes on the intensity in people and what they make me feel rather than any concrete material benefits (I don't care for money as much as someone I can be poor with if that must be the case)Sp just happens naturally as a result of me being me: How can I not preserve myself if I'm already low in energy and tend towards familiar things? I focus on survivalism and satisfying primal needs more than excess productivity though, I can make do with very little so I don't even need talk about Sp matters with others.So is very weird, sometimes I feel it's my primary instinct and other times my last... and I even test as such where the instinct is defined differently. I only notice how I fit in and interact with the people I'm talking to, but that doesn't mean I care enough to be socially adaptable if I feel I don't fit in... and nor does that mean I reject those I'm failing to connect with outright, I just act as I always do, I don't need to fit in right away, it comes with time and familiarity. But regardless that doesn't mean I'm incapable of getting around making friends with literally everyone, I can and will appeal to someone but will not appeal to groups: they have a different effect on me... I just don't feel social in groups at all.Also thanks for making this thread because Enneagram is very vague and difficult to define and apply to real life... at least if you don't have an imagination like I do lol
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  5. #5
    Member brainheart's Avatar
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    I find instincts confusing, too, and I think a lot of that has to do with everyone having a different variation of sorts: you could have a super strong primary instinct with hardly any of the other two. You could have all three fairly equal. You could have two that are pretty much equal, and one that's minimal to nonexistent. And so on.

    I've decided over the years that my dominant instinct is slightly stronger than my secondary while my third is pretty limited. Most of my focus goes into my top two instincts and for that reason it can be hard to tell sometimes which one is leading while it's usually obvious which is last. I determined the order by asking myself, which supports which? In other words, I think we use the second instinct to support the primary. For that reason, the second instinct feels more stabilizing/conscious/rational while the primary feels more neurotic/unconscious/irrational. The primary just happens while the secondary (in me, anyway) requires more conscious effort.

    Like @Terralynn said, I think sometimes the last instinct can feel like the first, just because it's also neurotic-feeling, especially if you are someone who pays attention to it minimal amounts. Sometimes it rears its head in my mind and I feel all of my incompetencies in this area and the social four description really resonates. But then it just as quickly goes away and I'm just as oblivious to it as I was before.


    ps: if I were to go by the typing of @Tomb1 I would be a 4w5 sp/sx. Eva Green is my celebrity equivalent, without question. (it's weird watching her) So take that as you will.

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  6. #6
    Talk to me. Merced's Avatar
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    I share this confusion and I'm glad you made this thread about it.

    Between what you want, what you gravitate to, and what you excel at, I think what you gravitate towards is what determines the variant.

    I desire Sx greatly but I almost retract from it whenever aspects of it are presented to me.

    And I guess it's inflation, but damn it's hard to value my two cents
    As a kid I was idolizing millionaires and all the presidents

    - Left at London
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  7. #7
    Somber and irritated cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    I find instincts confusing, too, and I think a lot of that has to do with everyone having a different variation of sorts: you could have a super strong primary instinct with hardly any of the other two. You could have all three fairly equal. You could have two that are pretty much equal, and one that's minimal to nonexistent. And so on.
    I love that you wrote this / bring this up, as I think I am a pretty good example of a super strong primary instinct, such that the other two are fairly muted in comparison.

    Personally I *relate* most to sx elements as my secondary, as in terms of characteristic associations of what embodies so-, I do not show a whole lot of evidence in my life focus on so-, and tend to find that focus a nuisance; like @Totenkindly said, it's more of something I view as probably being of use/helpful / would benefit me in certain areas of my life, but ultimately I don't do much about it at all. However, I also understand that depending on how people view so- and sx-, one could probably build a case for my being either so-aux or sx-aux; so that's why I am leaving my type as just sp-.
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  8. #8
    Squirrel! Hermit of the Forest's Avatar
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    I read many descriptions until I had a basic grasp of the motivations and behavioral patterns of the variants. So/Sx seemed the best fit.
    Chase the adventure. Cherish the joy.


    Cu·ri·ous
    adjective
    1. Eager to know or learn something.
    2. Strange; unusual.



    INTP 9w1 2w1 5w6 so/sx
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  9. #9
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    I keep thinking i'm a sp/sx but my behaviour as a kid makes me think sx/sp.
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  10. #10
    Junior Member punkermit's Avatar
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    Well, after more readings and analysis paralysis, I have finally decided I am not SX first. All other 4 stackings are still in the running. 2 down, 3 to go. Talk about progress!

    I have been reading some SX dom threads and while I fully admit SX related activities give me the most pleasure and happiness and I fully understand and can relate to the descriptions of "thrill seeking, adrenaline junkie, deep connection, intense desire that escalating and building up to a climax" feeling, I limit that kind of intensity only to my hobbies, aka, things I can fully control, and never to a romantic partner, let alone family or friends. In fact, I seem to instinctively believe romance and human relationships built on that kind of intensity will not last and are more trouble than reward.

    I don't think a true SX dom would think like that.
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