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  1. #1
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    Default does anyone have parents that have the same core type?

    It has been confirmed that both my parents are 3s, thus my unhealthy relationship with type 3 makes total sense now. 3 is suppose to be a positive move for the 9 but I have a lot of the darker aspects of the type.

  2. #2
    Talk to me. Merced's Avatar
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    I've always theorized that the enneatypes of your parents has a strong impact on your enneatype. There's also that Aggressive/Passive/Absent Parent thing? I'll have to post that here later, I can't seem to think of it right now.

    To answer the title question, I can't tell what core my Dad is but it's definitely in the Heart triad. My Mom is gut core but she has 2 in her trifix, I think.

    And I guess it's inflation, but damn it's hard to value my two cents
    As a kid I was idolizing millionaires and all the presidents

    - Left at London

  3. #3
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merced View Post
    I've always theorized that the enneatypes of your parents has a strong impact on your enneatype.
    I could see that many of my parent's siblings may be 3s based on my fogey memory of them and I kinda think both of my granddads were 3w2.

    There's also that Aggressive/Passive/Absent Parent thing?
    I read that ages ago and I related to the 9 one.

  4. #4
    Sandpit Turtle Jaune Valjaune's Avatar
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    My mother is probably a 1w2 and my father is probably a 9w8. Both gut types, but not similar. I'm actually gut last.

    My dad has a strong 3w4 fix and I probably got some of it from him.
    4w3 6w5 1w9 ~ sp/sx ~ Melancholic ~ Slytherin ~ Chaotic Neutral

    pull me down again and guide me into pain

  5. #5

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    I got my mom's functions (INFJ 4w5), and my dads enneagram (ESTJ 1w2). Indeed, I am very similar to both of them, but there are also many differences. Even more interesting, both of my parents are startlingly different people temperment wise, they should have never got married (they divorced when I was 3 ).
    It is our duty to create meaning.

    If only it were that simple.

  6. #6
    Member anime_nature's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merced View Post
    There's also that Aggressive/Passive/Absent Parent thing? I'll have to post that here later, I can't seem to think of it right now.
    I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but I stumbled along this image once while looking for enneagram memes (MBTI and Astrology memes were sometimes fun when they weren't bias. I thought that there would be some fun Enneagram ones that were only made for laughs and not bashing types. Trust me, there's a difference. And also, they were nonexistent, so that was fun...)

    Attachment 20024

    Not sure where it's from, but if someone could explain this more in depth, then please tell me. I'd love to learn more about this.

    Edit: Also, can someone teach me how to post pics that aren't attachments?
    While you're here reading this, yourself 50 years from now will regret it.
    Stop finding the light in this pitch black tunnel. It's probably heaven, hell, your problems stuffed into a vehicle about to ram you, or nothing but darkness. Try something else, like making your own light. You just need enough of the right resources and everything's clearer.
    Yes, you need rain to make a rainbow. But you also need light, and that's hard to forage when clouds fog the world above.

  7. #7
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    Default

    My dad and I are the same enneagram type, instincts included (4w5 Sx/So) and while it was fucking amazing being raised by someone who actually just 'gets it', trying to individuate as a 4w5 from someone who is emotionally exactly like you (the thing we obsess over and crave) is really really confusing on the psyche. Our relationship became really strange/unpleasant as a teenager and even now as an adult. The hyperawareness of the 5 in me notices all of the 4 things I hate about myself in him, and as a kid that translated into a profound seeping disgust that completely overwhelmed me when I was in the same room with him, and constant self-flagellation when I exhibited any of his tendencies which was all the time. Now that I've been on my own for 6 years the perspective helps, but the discomfort is still there. He is an amazing father and would do anything for me, but being his only child and both of us Sx firsts made/makes it really hard to create psychological distance.

    I am hopeful though because he has been in the peace corps on another continent for about 4 years (I discovered enneagram 3 years ago) so I'm interested to see what a knowledge of the this system can do to alleviate some of that weirdness between us. But I also kind of don't want to have him understand this theory because then there will be even more mind-reading lol.

    There's also the thing where he was raised by some hardcore 8ish or 1ish parents and it drove him to being extremely driven and successful for the first half of his life, until he cracked himself open and acknowledged his artsy hippy side that he had been repressing. I, however, was raised by artsy, hippy parents who never pushed me to do anything and thought I'd figure it all out on my own (spoiler: I didn't) so while it feels in some ways like we're the same person, he has done a bunch of really cool, impressive shit with his life (Being a fighter pilot, graduating top in his class from the best business school in the country, etc etc) and I'm just over here spending way too much time on the computer and trying to put myself back together after realizing too late that getting anywhere fun takes hard shitty work.

    Anyways, my mom is a 6w7 Sp/So and in non-enneagram factors is very like us in interests and cares and attitudes and stuff (and we all share the same cognitive functions), but the motivating framework and what she freaks out about is SO different that we both ganged up on her a lot as I was growing up. They split when I was a toddler and maintained an excellent working relationship but I definitely was always on my dad's side and she knew it.

  8. #8
    Inactive For A Bit RadicalDoubt's Avatar
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    Me and my mother might have the same enneatype and instinctual variants. I indefinitely would say she's either a 6w7 sp/so ISFJ or a 1w2 sp/so, but I am also probably a 6 core sp/so. Its very easy for us to understand each other's trains of thought.

    Coincidentally, my dad and sister have the same tritype, but in different orders and with different vairents (Sister is 9w8 so/sx ESFP, father is a 4w3 so/sp ENFP, both 479). It's funny though since they do not get along super well

  9. #9
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    Ah, I think my mum may be a 2w3 in denial. Her unhealthy link to 8 has always been obvious but then i've seen people say that the wing can disintegrate too. She also seems to be obsessed with keeping things positive and she is clearly a rejecting needs type. It's annoying when you see the obvious signs that someone is another type but they swear blind they aren't that type.

  10. #10
    Member brainheart's Avatar
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    @misfortuneteller (love your name), both of my parents are ones, my dad a 1w9 and my mom a 1w2. They just visited me this weekend so I'm still feeling the reverberations of all of their one-ishness. It can be an overwhelming thing for me, for sure. I relate to what you say about your negative associations with your integration type. Anyway, I think there are positive and negatives to both the disintegration/integration connecting points. I've seen plenty of unhealthy one-like criticism exist in fours, for example.

    As far as your mom goes, my mom can seem like a two on the surface- positive, affable. She's a fe dom so that makes sense. However, the one is absolutely her core. When you look at the fears/motivations for the types, which seems to be most pervasive with your mom? (I would add that I have this theory that people will often act more like their wing as a mode of self-protection or if it's what is more acceptable to others. It can serve as a mask or a tool.)

    My five wing definitely goes to seven at times so I would agree that the wing disintegrates.
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