Yeah, my mother and step-father are both 9s. I don't think this is an uncommon pairing.
I do find it a little sad though. These are people who tamped me down my whole life--with a certain stifling type of minimization that SOME 9s do. Like, they had this conception of this 1950s-ish Leave It to Beaver type of "Happy Family", where the kids always said good morning with big smiles on their faces and always happily went to church in their Sunday best. Also, we apparently weren't allowed to grow past the age of 8 or be teenagers. And even though I didn't get along with my stepfather and was being hideously abused at school, my mother would insist "we're so happy!" and leave it at that, when my father would call.
They'd compliment me with what they wanted me to be--quiet, complacent, intelligent, idealistic, etc. but never mentioned any of my true qualities, eg, being passionate, straight-forward, whatever, so that I grew up with this majorly fucked up self-image and without knowing my own potentials and capabilities. I had to spend a decade in the real world to realize this. They brainwashed me essentially, and I would be surprised if this were common with double-type parents...they'd instil their values with no serious alternatives.
It was like...idk, it honestly reminds me of the time I spent in China, where there's this emphasis on "WE ARE A HARMONIOUS SOCIETY" meaning that any dissent or differences are squashed and people are made of rubber. So it's not harmonious, it's just stifled, with deep resentments and lots of frustration and apathy. I never learned conflict resolution--my sister and I weren't even allowed to bicker without serious ramifications--and to this day I'm always sure that if I ever argue with a friend, I'm going to be permanently rejected thereafter.
Anyway, they're reaching old age now, and I swear they're happy tucked away in their little house just waiting for death. They don't want to deal with me anymore and have successfully cut me out of their life while still keeping up their old pretense of being caring parents. My mother still lives back in the early 2000s where I'm a star student instead of a failure at life, and my stepfather still lives back in some constructed version of the 1990s, where my sister and I are sweet innocent Jesusy lil kids. They're essentially unable to face reality. They don't do anything...my mother takes care of daily life as she has every day since she was born, and my stepfather goes to work, comes home, moans about how he can't wait to retire, and lies there like a slug in front of the TV. Neither of them realizes there's so much more to life than this, because they're both satisfied with mediocre complacency.
I assume my future holds nothing good, but come what may, I hope I might never become like this.
Well. I mean, I didn't really log into TypoC today to bitch about my parents. Sorry for that. I'm sure a lot of people would find their lifestyle admirable, just their values and mine aren't really concordant, and I find them both stifling and depressing. I'm only just coming to terms with the ways they fucked me up just by being themselves lol (a reason I'm not having kids).
I feel like you do tend to get issues with a double-type partnership where the dynamic just sort of intensifies and creates its own alternate reality throughout the entire household. My parents are just one example.
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