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[Traditional Enneagram] Any tips on how to stop getting so angry? (8s or 8 wingers with a strong 8 wing)

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm a 9w8 that has been feeling way too much rage lately... I don't know how to not react to it on the spot. I'll try anything, if it sounds reasonable.
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
My go-to is knowing that acting on impulse in response to negative emotions frequently results in a poor outcome. Knowing that, I force myself to resist it. Step away, take a breather. Once I have calmed I reassess. It is mostly self control bolstered by experience and logic.
 
Joined
May 19, 2017
Messages
5,100
Exercise. Run. Walk. Beat the shit out of deadfall trees in the woods while screaming like a barbarian (worked for me once just wear thick gloves and pick smaller trees and make sure it’s secluded so people don’t think you’re murdering someone or being murdered lol). Anything that burns off the angry energy. A vigorous hike over rough terrain is also good you might be a bit bruised after but it’s worth it.
 

1487610420

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Messages
6,431
Woo, that was quick.

- - - Updated - - -



People just annoy me in general? I can't be able to avoid them.

You're asking me? Am I supposed to know the answer?
 

Merced

Talk to me.
Joined
May 14, 2016
Messages
3,599
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
28?
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Anger is a sign that something needs to change. If all people annoy you though, then it's probably time for you to reevaluate yourself.
 

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
If all people annoy you though, then it's probably time for you to reevaluate yourself.

All people don't annoy me. I just don't like being mocked and once I feel slightly mocked then I become the Incredible Hulk.

Well this explains why 1w2's are called the reformers :D

I was about to ask if he was actually a 1 but trying to type people here without their permission is frowned upon.
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
I was about to ask if he was actually a 1 but trying to type people here without their permission is frowned upon.

I am probably one of the most "visible and obvious" 1's on the forums. If you don't believe me you're welcome to pick my brain, but trust I me I am 110% confident I am a 1.
 

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am probably one of the most "visible and obvious" 1's on the forums. If you don't believe me you're welcome to pick my brain, but trust I me I am 110% confident I am a 1.

Nothing you've said makes me think otherwise... You seem pretty self-controlled enough.
 

á´…eparted

passages
Joined
Jan 25, 2014
Messages
8,265
Nothing you've said makes me think otherwise... You seem pretty self-controlled enough.

I have immense self-control. A good chunk of it is self-taught, but much of it is also innate. I am very careful about consequences of all lengths, and I am always on alert trying to see where they could happen. Much of the time, angry outbursts has negative conseqences, and I can usually see that when I feel the urge to let them out which makes it easier to calm myself down.
 

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I have immense self-control. A good chunk of it is self-taught, but much of it is also innate. I am very careful about consequences of all lengths, and I am always on alert trying to see where they could happen. .

I wish I had that. I use to have self control but lately my 8 wing is taking me over as a core 9.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Find out why...

On the money.

People just annoy me in general? I can't be able to avoid them.

Dig deeper.

You're asking me? Am I supposed to know the answer?

Dammit, now I seem unoriginal! Still on the money.


As a 9w8 most of my rage comes from feeling dismissed/overlooked/un-valued, the key to overcoming the anger is noticing the root cause then doing something at the time it arises so that it comes out as assertiveness/boundaries. I don't need to get my own way (much), I just need to feel considered/heard. The 9 default of dismissing our own needs is what causes most of my issues, recognise it when it happens, break the cycle.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
On the money.



Dig deeper.



Dammit, now I seem unoriginal! Still on the money.


As a 9w8 most of my rage comes from feeling dismissed/overlooked/un-valued, the key to overcoming the anger is noticing the root cause then doing something at the time it arises so that it comes out as assertiveness/boundaries. I don't need to get my own way (much), I just need to feel considered/heard. The 9 default of dismissing our own needs is what causes most of my issues, recognise it when it happens, break the cycle.

I'm not a 9w8 but I have a 9w8 and he also experienced this push/pull issue. He felt much better after therapy which 1) validated what he was feeling (including the anger in particular) and 2) learned how to not dismiss his own needs without becoming insufferable about it, which happens to some 9's.
 

misfortuneteller

New member
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
578
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Dig deeper.

I already said why. I don't like being mocked and people are the only animals who can talk so.

I'm not a 9w8 but I have a 9w8 and he also experienced this push/pull issue. He felt much better after therapy which 1) validated what he was feeling (including the anger in particular) and 2) learned how to not dismiss his own needs without becoming insufferable about it, which happens to some 9's.

I have thought of that but i'm broke.
 

Norexan

Quetzalcoatl
Joined
Jul 2, 2017
Messages
2,222
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sp
With all my self-control I had problem with anger but only sometimes (it takes a lot of idiots in one room) now I don't feel anything. Thanks Enneagram. :bye:
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Anywhere. Once I sense that i'm being taken for a fool in any way then I just see a red mist.
As an E8w7, how I address this is to laugh at, dismiss and/or mock them. Or if it really matters, such as in a work environment where perceived competency matters, play stupid and when it matters, sand bag them. The best place to sand bag coworkers is at meetings with a lot of witnesses, especially the brass. They quickly learn not to underestimate you. That said, once you pick up a sword, you can also die by the sword.
 
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