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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    I did use to think so but i'm sane. I think i'm just quite a misanthrope.
    Are you easily bored?
    Fearless/thrill seeking?

  2. #32
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    Regardless of type, deep breathing does wonders forstrong emotions in general. Try to not think and just focus on breathing in and out. It takes practice and sometimes it's super tricky to get into that headspace, but it's worth it.
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  3. #33
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anticlimatic View Post
    Are you easily bored?
    Somewhat.

    Fearless/thrill seeking?
    Nope.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    Somewhat.



    Nope.

    Hmm. Maybe there's hope for your soul, then.

    Rage and misanthropy is typically rooted in yourself; projections of self loathing and shame onto other people, or a recognition in other people of things you dislike about yourself. A common example is road rage at other drivers who are 'trying to win' because you yourself are also 'trying to win.' Pick a hobby and get good at it to start elevating your self esteem, and make better decisions so as to avoid racking up any more shame points. Realize that the disparity between your ideal world and the reality in which you live is not necessarily a bad thing, but rather an opportunity to elevate the world in which you live- if you're strong and capable enough to do so- to an idealistic state for yourself, and maybe a few others.
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  5. #35
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Cool, the most positive thing here is you notice your anger, this means you are already more aware than a lot of 9s who shove it down.

    Unfortunately, there is no magic solution, the answer can sound simple, but it's is super uncomfortable to work through the anger, especially when you're in a space where the rage is prominent and in the front of your mind. My own experience started from a step behind you where I didn't even recognise the anger, it then took a good 18 months of feeling like I was permanently raging to work through it and become assertive about my needs, on the other side of that though; I now LOVE my anger, it is boundaries and an early barometer that something is not okay.

    Look at how 8s use their anger, well, the ones who are effective with it not the ones people are scared of and secretly think are asshats; it is one of their first responses to a situation they're not happy with, they are in control of it, they are blunt, direct and forceful, they shut shit down before it goes too far, they do it without pretense or emotionality. If there's a problem; fix it, move on. The average 9 is the opposite, anger is the last resort so by the time it's surfaced it's like a splatter gun, no one really knows what the problem is cause it seems to come from nowhere, is frequently misdirected then disappears without resolution. As a 9w8 you have it within you to use your anger like an 8 does, while keeping the positives of the core 9 in place, and the key to that; they use it early.

    You need to take control of the anger, use it as motivation, it's your grit and determination and constant reminder that your needs matter, it can be a positive force for you.

    IME, the only way to do that is to allow it in, sit with it and feel entitled to it, recognise why feeling slighted matters so much, what is the internal message you're getting when you feel mocked and why is that so hurtful (I'd suggest it comes back to that E-9 issue with feeling dismissed/unimportant/unwanted). Embrace the rage while reviewing what's happening internally then experiment with different approaches. Initially it will be hulk rage but through observation and practice you can start to control it. If you're not looking at what's happening internally then change will be hard. Don't be fooled into focusing externally and thinking this is about other people, it's about you and only you. No one else gives a shit if you're angry or not so other people do not matter here, it's what's triggered in you and how you own that. How often to you let people mistreat you, how often do you dismiss your own needs, these are the things that build up rage. How quickly after the rage you dismiss your right to have felt it is what continues the unhealthy cycle where you feel out of control.

    If you notice yourself questioning your right to feel anger, or feeling bad/guilty about having been angry; stop, sit with it, remind yourself that you are entitled to it.
    I think there is a lot of wisdom in this post. I try to channel anger in a productive way. I'm not perfect at it and there are those who have said I can be direct to the point of being abrasive but sometimes you have to do that to get stuff done. Another thing I changed years ago was to take an overall default view of trusting others. If you change your outlook like that it prevents it reduces a lot of unnecessary and unproductive negativity.

    For someone to feel they are being mocked all the time - it seems unusual. That feels like reacting to things that aren't really there. I can't remember the last time I have felt that way.
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  6. #36
    cute lil war dog Bush's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    As a 9w8 most of my rage comes from feeling dismissed/overlooked/un-valued, the key to overcoming the anger is noticing the root cause then doing something at the time it arises so that it comes out as assertiveness/boundaries. I don't need to get my own way (much), I just need to feel considered/heard. The 9 default of dismissing our own needs is what causes most of my issues, recognise it when it happens, break the cycle.
    Shit. A subject for another time and another thread, I suppose, but on 3 VS 9 you're making me mull myself over again. Seems that there's a sliding scale with two entries being 'being heard at all' and 'being really, really heard.'

    Enneagram typing | type 3-6-9 confusions - The Enneagram in Business
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  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bush Did 9/11 View Post
    Shit. A subject for another time and another thread, I suppose, but on 3 VS 9 you're making me mull myself over again. Seems that there's a sliding scale with two entries being 'being heard at all' and 'being really, really heard.'

    Enneagram typing | type 3-6-9 confusions - The Enneagram in Business
    Actually, because of this particular point, I initially typed as 9w1. However, instead of the more calm, laid back nature of e9, I noticed my energy was more impatient, perfectionistic, action-focused but could relate to the disintegration point to 9. But then my best fit tritype is 3w4/5w6/9w8. Plus aren't 3s and 9s the least in touch with their core fears in their respective triads?

  8. #38
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    Based on my own case, and the writings of a great yogi:

    I'd say, treat this as a challenge to make a great progress by rising into a high poise.

    Aspiring to be rid of anger in entirety, surrendering inwardly to the divine, and rejection of the anger without any inner chatter about the circumstances and patiently wait for the transforming moment of grace.

    Its no chimera, but can take time, sometimes a long time. [Because you said 'anything reasonable' and I am not sure this fits the requirement, lol]

    In the meanwhile, when angry, I'd say do nothing (except the deep breathing as said by @LucieCat) in the knowledge that your anger is going to cost you, perhaps a lot more than you envisage.
    “By our stumbling, the world is perfected.”
    ― Sri Aurobindo
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  9. #39
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Consilience View Post
    Actually, because of this particular point, I initially typed as 9w1. However, instead of the more calm, laid back nature of e9, I noticed my energy was more impatient, perfectionistic, action-focused but could relate to the disintegration point to 9.
    Dude, this is a lot more common than you'd think. The enneagram 9 FB group is clearly full of 6s, 3s, 1w9s and the occasional 7w6 that think they are 9s.

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