User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 39

  1. #21
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    As an E8w7, how I address this is to laugh at, dismiss and/or mock them. Or if it really matters, such as in a work environment where perceived competency matters, play stupid and when it matters, sand bag them. The best place to sand bag coworkers is at meetings with a lot of witnesses, especially the brass. They quickly learn not to underestimate you. That said, once you pick up a sword, you can also die by the sword.
    Thanks. I appreciate this cause I can see how hard it is for a 8w7 to not react when they are being ridiculed.

  2. #22

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    Thanks. I appreciate this cause I can see how hard it is for a 8w7 to not react when they are being ridiculed.
    E8s are overt but if someone evidences a pattern of silly behaviour, they're dismissed and ignored as a waste of oxygen.
    Likes misfortuneteller liked this post

  3. #23
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,591

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    I already said why. I don't like being mocked and people are the only animals who can talk so.
    Not quite sure what you're looking for. You know the behaviour you cannot tolerate and it sounds like you notice it at the time it happens so it's up to you to shut it down, if raging isn't yielding the results you want then try some other approaches from being direct and calling out the behaviour you don't like, to turning it around on them. For a 9w8, assertiveness, ideally before the rage rises, is always going to be the growth option that turns the anger into a powerful weapon that puts our needs first when they would otherwise be dismissed.

    You're the only one who can stop the rage response, it'll take time, discomfort and deliberate effort, it is something you can control even if it feels like the rage is controlling you.

    Do you struggle with feeling you have a right to the anger? Do you ignore poor behaviour until it builds up into The Hulk? Are your explosions public and if so, what reaction do you get and how do you feel afterwards?
    Likes rav3n, Tilt liked this post

  4. #24

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Not quite sure what you're looking for. You know the behaviour you cannot tolerate and it sounds like you notice it at the time it happens so it's up to you to shut it down, if raging isn't yielding the results you want then try some other approaches from being direct and calling out the behaviour you don't like, to turning it around on them. For a 9w8, assertiveness, ideally before the rage rises, is always going to be the growth option that turns the anger into a powerful weapon that puts our needs first when they would otherwise be dismissed.

    You're the only one who can stop the rage response, it'll take time, discomfort and deliberate effort, it is something you can control even if it feels like the rage is controlling you.

    Do you struggle with feeling you have a right to the anger? Do you ignore poor behaviour until it builds up into The Hulk? Are your explosions public and if so, what reaction do you get and how do you feel afterwards?
    It's usually that simple, that of asserting yourself directly upfront, so it minimalizes the potential for repeat behaviour from the offender.

  5. #25
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post

    Do you struggle with feeling you have a right to the anger?
    Yep.

    Do you ignore poor behaviour until it builds up into The Hulk?
    I seem to give into the red mist nearly all the time online but I suppress it a lot irl.

    Are your explosions public?
    Not since I moved out from my mum's house. She use to drive me bonkers to the point that I had a few mental breakdowns but she isn't the main issue.

    what reaction do you get and how do you feel afterwards?
    It depends on where i've exploded but generally I think it could have been avoided. I just think I often don't know how to go about saying things in a way that wouldn't cause offence since I lack a lot of social skills.

  6. #26
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    E8s are overt but if someone evidences a pattern of silly behaviour, they're dismissed and ignored as a waste of oxygen.
    Yep. I just meant that I took your advice to high consideration since you're a 8w7.
    Likes rav3n liked this post

  7. #27
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    9w8 so/sx
    Posts
    11,591

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    Yep.

    I seem to give into the red mist nearly all the time online but I suppress it a lot irl.

    Not since I moved out from my mum's house. She use to drive me bonkers to the point that I had a few mental breakdowns but she isn't the main issue.

    It depends on where i've exploded but generally I think it could have been avoided. I just think I often don't know how to go about saying things in a way that wouldn't cause offence since I lack a lot of social skills.
    Cool, the most positive thing here is you notice your anger, this means you are already more aware than a lot of 9s who shove it down.

    Unfortunately, there is no magic solution, the answer can sound simple, but it's is super uncomfortable to work through the anger, especially when you're in a space where the rage is prominent and in the front of your mind. My own experience started from a step behind you where I didn't even recognise the anger, it then took a good 18 months of feeling like I was permanently raging to work through it and become assertive about my needs, on the other side of that though; I now LOVE my anger, it is boundaries and an early barometer that something is not okay.

    Look at how 8s use their anger, well, the ones who are effective with it not the ones people are scared of and secretly think are asshats; it is one of their first responses to a situation they're not happy with, they are in control of it, they are blunt, direct and forceful, they shut shit down before it goes too far, they do it without pretense or emotionality. If there's a problem; fix it, move on. The average 9 is the opposite, anger is the last resort so by the time it's surfaced it's like a splatter gun, no one really knows what the problem is cause it seems to come from nowhere, is frequently misdirected then disappears without resolution. As a 9w8 you have it within you to use your anger like an 8 does, while keeping the positives of the core 9 in place, and the key to that; they use it early.

    You need to take control of the anger, use it as motivation, it's your grit and determination and constant reminder that your needs matter, it can be a positive force for you.

    IME, the only way to do that is to allow it in, sit with it and feel entitled to it, recognise why feeling slighted matters so much, what is the internal message you're getting when you feel mocked and why is that so hurtful (I'd suggest it comes back to that E-9 issue with feeling dismissed/unimportant/unwanted). Embrace the rage while reviewing what's happening internally then experiment with different approaches. Initially it will be hulk rage but through observation and practice you can start to control it. If you're not looking at what's happening internally then change will be hard. Don't be fooled into focusing externally and thinking this is about other people, it's about you and only you. No one else gives a shit if you're angry or not so other people do not matter here, it's what's triggered in you and how you own that. How often to you let people mistreat you, how often do you dismiss your own needs, these are the things that build up rage. How quickly after the rage you dismiss your right to have felt it is what continues the unhealthy cycle where you feel out of control.

    If you notice yourself questioning your right to feel anger, or feeling bad/guilty about having been angry; stop, sit with it, remind yourself that you are entitled to it.
    Likes misfortuneteller, highlander liked this post

  8. #28
    Tempbanned
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    3,305

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by misfortuneteller View Post
    All people don't annoy me. I just don't like being mocked and once I feel slightly mocked then I become the Incredible Hulk.
    Do you have antisocial personality disorder?

  9. #29
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kasper View Post
    Cool, the most positive thing here is you notice your anger, this means you are already more aware than a lot of 9s who shove it down.

    Unfortunately, there is no magic solution, the answer can sound simple, but it's is super uncomfortable to work through the anger, especially when you're in a space where the rage is prominent and in the front of your mind. My own experience started from a step behind you where I didn't even recognise the anger, it then took a good 18 months of feeling like I was permanently raging to work through it and become assertive about my needs, on the other side of that though; I now LOVE my anger, it is boundaries and an early barometer that something is not okay.

    Look at how 8s use their anger, well, the ones who are effective with it not the ones people are scared of and secretly think are asshats; it is one of their first responses to a situation they're not happy with, they are in control of it, they are blunt, direct and forceful, they shut shit down before it goes too far, they do it without pretense or emotionality. If there's a problem; fix it, move on. The average 9 is the opposite, anger is the last resort so by the time it's surfaced it's like a splatter gun, no one really knows what the problem is cause it seems to come from nowhere, is frequently misdirected then disappears without resolution. As a 9w8 you have it within you to use your anger like an 8 does, while keeping the positives of the core 9 in place, and the key to that; they use it early.

    You need to take control of the anger, use it as motivation, it's your grit and determination and constant reminder that your needs matter, it can be a positive force for you.

    IME, the only way to do that is to allow it in, sit with it and feel entitled to it, recognise why feeling slighted matters so much, what is the internal message you're getting when you feel mocked and why is that so hurtful (I'd suggest it comes back to that E-9 issue with feeling dismissed/unimportant/unwanted). Embrace the rage while reviewing what's happening internally then experiment with different approaches. Initially it will be hulk rage but through observation and practice you can start to control it. If you're not looking at what's happening internally then change will be hard. Don't be fooled into focusing externally and thinking this is about other people, it's about you and only you. No one else gives a shit if you're angry or not so other people do not matter here, it's what's triggered in you and how you own that. How often to you let people mistreat you, how often do you dismiss your own needs, these are the things that build up rage. How quickly after the rage you dismiss your right to have felt it is what continues the unhealthy cycle where you feel out of control.

    If you notice yourself questioning your right to feel anger, or feeling bad/guilty about having been angry; stop, sit with it, remind yourself that you are entitled to it.
    Thanks dude.

  10. #30
    Senior Member misfortuneteller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    585

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by anticlimatic View Post
    Do you have antisocial personality disorder?
    I did use to think so but i'm sane. I think i'm just quite a misanthrope.

Similar Threads

  1. What NP type am I? (And a Tip on How to Find Your MBTI)
    By xpeacexrainbowx in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-17-2015, 12:37 AM
  2. [MBTItm] SPs, do you have any advice for an NF on how to better enjoy the "now"?
    By TheEmeraldCanopy in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 06-19-2010, 11:02 PM
  3. Any suggestions on how to manage Brain Fog?
    By Synapse in forum Health and Fitness
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-10-2010, 12:31 PM
  4. [SP] Tips on how to be a better student?
    By ClarifiedMind in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-30-2009, 06:57 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO