[Traditional Enneagram] Enneagram Stereotypes That Bother You

[Hive]

9's don't fear conflict, they fear separation. If the 9 knows the bond between you is secure, or if the 9 simply doesn't care about the bond between you, they'll have no problem with conflict, or even getting nasty. Granted, there's some overlap since 9's often think separation will follow conflict, but it's far from the same thing.

 

[equinoxx]

9's don't fear conflict, they fear separation. If the 9 knows the bond between you is secure, or if the 9 simply doesn't care about the bond between you, they'll have no problem with conflict, or even getting nasty. Granted, there's some overlap since 9's often think separation will follow conflict, but it's far from the same thing.

This!! I actually came here to post this exact thing haha.

 

[hjgbujhghg]

9's don't fear conflict, they fear separation. If the 9 knows the bond between you is secure, or if the 9 simply doesn't care about the bond between you, they'll have no problem with conflict, or even getting nasty. Granted, there's some overlap since 9's often think separation will follow conflict, but it's far from the same thing.

I have a 9 fix and it's the same for me. I avoid conflict with people who I don't know well and I don't know how secure or insecure the relationship is, but once I get comfortable with someone I can be a real pain in the ass, become overly critical and pushy even.

 

[misfortuneteller]

I got called too introspective for a 9 today which infuriated me. I hate how 4s and 5s are seen as the types that are above the other types when it comes to intellect or deepness. 9w8 is seen as dirt compared to other types as well as 6s, sadly.

 

[misfortuneteller]

9's don't fear conflict

I fear the headache of getting into conflict. It can get messy sometimes and i'd rather not be around chaos.

 

[LucieCat]

6s are blindly trustful of systems and other people.

Maybe this is true of some 6s. But we're called skeptics for a reason. A lot of that skepticism can be directed at things other 6s find comfort and security in.

 

[rav3n]

The heroic and magnanimous aspects of E8s. I have zero interest in being a hero and magnanimous is so condescending to others.

 

[misfortuneteller]

The assumption that 9w8s lack in morale due to us having a 8 wing. The amount of 9w8s that are mistyped as 9w1s due to thinking that they are good people is outstanding.

 

[misfortuneteller]

The assumption that every 3 is a hot-shot. This may not be the case for sp first ones, generally.

 

[misfortuneteller]

The constant misunderstanding of the 1 type. Anyone who has OCD-ish tendencies or wants to right is supposedly a 1. 1s want to reform things - simple as that.

 

[notmyapples]

9's don't fear conflict, they fear separation. If the 9 knows the bond between you is secure, or if the 9 simply doesn't care about the bond between you, they'll have no problem with conflict, or even getting nasty. Granted, there's some overlap since 9's often think separation will follow conflict, but it's far from the same thing.

Very accurate. If I know my relationship with someone is secure or decide that I no longer value my bond with them, I can get cutting really fast. The cowardly 9 stereotype needs to be thrown into a hole and buried six feet under, anybody close to a healthy 9 can testify.

 

[misfortuneteller]

The assumption that anyone who likes learning is a 5 or a 5 winger. 5s learn to be safe in the world.

 

[Chad of the OttomanEmpire]

Many, particularly regarding forum lore that builds up. I don’t feel like mentioning all of it here just now; I'll do it later if I remember.

A couple of things people have said to me, personally, have gotten to me though.

I once had someone try to tell me I was too “wistful” to be an 8. I know I’m expected to be a monolithic unfeeling sub-human (I demand this from myself if nothing else) but that’s just silly. I write my innermost thoughts on these forums, many of which are very sad. I don’t consider it “vulnerable” or anything to share this on these anonymous forums in the name of science. I don’t necessarily want people hearing this stuff about me irl, but mental health issues are one theme in my life, and why lie about it here? Katherine Fauvre even wrote something within the last couple of years about how gut types (yes, including 8s) have a deep sadness to them, a sorrowful pining that can resemble 4ishness. Idk what else to say about it, except that this is true. Sorry if that ruins anyone's ideal of what constitutes the 8-Gods.

More importantly, the idea that Eights are always assholes. One guy on Reddit was adamant that I was too “polite” and “reasonable” to be an 8. He thought because I wasn’t being high-handed in discussion, abusing him, and writing in caps I couldn’t possibly be an 8. Mind you, this individual also *literally* thought enneagram was a list of adjectives you can check off lol. There’s the distinct impression (that I once held myself) that 8s are necessarily going to abuse/degrade/pick fights with you on sight. People are afraid to interact with you. I will say I’ve had a number of encounters with moronic 8s on enneagram forums that tend to enforce that opinion…but not EVERYONE is like this. Some of us actually listen to what enneagram tells us about ourselves.

A third one is 8s being unintelligent. For some reason, because Naranjo states that 8s are archetypally “anti-intellectual”, this means that 8s (even the NTs--not that I'm implying NTs are smarter yadda yadda) are expected to be real simpletons who can’t use complex language or be interested in enneagram. Someone on this very forum a) typed me as an 8 because he hated 8s, and he hated me, so therefore I was an 8; and b) tried to tell me that “theory isn’t an 8’s forte” (implying 8s don't have the mental powers necessary to understand the enneagram, so my ideas could be discarded). I mean wtf. The irony. Sorry guys, this isn't what Naranjo meant.

 

[neko 4]

I've read that Fours are likely to stay in bed all day when they're not so healthy. I never do that. I get up each morning and force myself through the day.

 

[Maou]

People in denial I am female because im X.

I just met you, how can you possibly know me well enough to type. Not to mention, internet interactions are different than real life.

 

[Yuurei]

Pretty much everything about my type.
I will acknowledge that it is mostly people of my type who do the stereotyping-they find it flattering and would rather cling to it for dear life rather than be genuine people.

But one more; the stereotype that all extroverts are loud. I detest loud people more than (almost) anything else.

 

[Amberiat]

Pretty much everything about my type.
I will acknowledge that it is mostly people of my type who do the stereotyping-they find it flattering and would rather cling to it for dear life rather than be genuine people.

But one more; the stereotype that all extroverts are loud. I detest loud people more than (almost) anything else.

I believe "loud" correlates to "obnoxious" more than anything else in this context, not all extroverts are obnoxious nor should they be, they should be engaging and open to interaction. And of course that's not something they have to be at all times, everyone needs their downtime to relax every now and then, people that ignore that basic need are usually the ones that become the stereotypical "loud" extroverts, the ones that ignore their need for alone time and become unstable.

 

[Yuurei]

I believe "loud" correlates to "obnoxious" more than anything else in this context, not all extroverts are obnoxious nor should they be, they should be engaging and open to interaction. And of course that's not something they have to be at all times, everyone needs their downtime to relax every now and then, people that ignore that basic need are usually the ones that become the stereotypical "loud" extroverts, the ones that ignore their need for alone time and become unstable.

It's true. I almost always use the words "Loud" and "obnoxious" in tandem.

"Me time" is of the utmost importance to maintaining my sanity. My husband is currently away with his friends and I'm pretty happy about that. I'll be just as happy to see our friends this evening...exasperating as they are.

 

[misfortuneteller]

I hate how 6s are described as 'insecure' in nearly every description because seeking security is common sense. The insecure people are the 4s and 9s since we always feel like we aren't lovable due to our lost childhood message.

Lost Childhood Messages
Type Four: You are seen for who you are.
Type Nine: Your presence matters.