[Traditional Enneagram] Opposite personalities

[Adpako]

Does someone else feel this way?

I feel like I have two personalities that don’t like each other. They don’t match. One of them is the serious and “deep” type, and the other one is the silly, carefree, and happy type.

When I am in the serious mode, I feel like the whole world is sad and not a good place. I like to listen to sad music and read deep poetry, and think about “deep” stuff. It makes me feel like I am worth something in a different way than before. My struggles become easier to think about, because I see the beauty in them instead of the horror. Maybe its melancholy, I don’t know. But I love this feeling when I am in the mood for it, but at some point, I snap out of it, and become the silly type.

When I am carefree and silly, I feel happy and I joke around. I feel like the one thing that matters is to have fun and laugh. And I don’t like the serious stuff, I make fun of it. When I am in this mode, I often say to myself that humour saved me from my stupid serious self. And I totally feel like I have found the secret to happiness. I feel like I can stay this way forever, and never ever be sad again.

But at some point I snap out of this mode too.

I do have a mode that is in between these two also, where I don’t really care about any of them, and I feel like they both have valid points. But often I just hate the other part of myself, until I “become” the part I hated, and then start to hate the other part again.

DOES SOMEONE ELSE FEEL LIKE THIS? And what enneagram type has tendencies to do this, and what types do not AT ALL?

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

I think all types have these "2 sides" of the coin. They are different moods. Some types are more conscious to feel them as they are more in contact with them (particularly Fi).
I am actually learning the 11 moon centers for women.

Women are natural leaders—whether we are leading in the workplace or at home, as yoga teachers or in our spiritual communities.
For this reason, the moon centers teach us that we need to intimately understand our nature as women. IT encourages us to delve deeply into our own psyches and understand our hidden agendas, our strengths, and our challenges. By doing so, we understand ourselves better and are more prepared to help and lead others.

 

[Mesmeric_Moon]

Enneagram 4.

 

[Zeego]

I can relate to this. Sometimes I feel like a committee of separate parts that all hate each other lol. Perhaps Mesmeric_Moon is right that it's a 4 (or 4 wing) thing.

 

[Typh0n]

I have this too, there is a side of me that is external and outgoing and a side of me that is deep and introverted.

It's annoying because I feel like I don't know which side is truly "me" and I want the two sides to balance out.

 

[Eternal Harmony]

I think that everybody has two sides in oneself - the principle of duality in ourselves. The challenge is to accept the other side as well as part of yours, to get an harmonious "you".