A few questions on Enneagram type. Do you think this system works for everyone? What has been your experience?
1. Do you think there are people who don't fit into any of the Enneagram types?
I'll take this as parts of the same question, since they're one and the same to me.
You
can fit anything into any model. Ever.
But have you ever tried drilling a 5/16" screw into a 1/4" hole? You could do it, but have to press the hell out of that drill and really force the whole thing. Maybe even earn yourself a bunch of bruises in your hand, too. In the process you either get a stripped screw or buckling around the hole, but, hey; success nonetheless. Well, so long as you don't have to unscrew the thing and back it out to the piece-parts again, because otherwise you can see what a terrible mess it all is.
The Enneagram is one perspective of many on personality, and it's one model of the infinitely available models out there. Sure, you can handjam it. But does it buy you anything if you do? Does it
work?
2. Did you have a difficult time figuring out your type?
3. Are you sure of your type now? How long did it take you to arrive at that point?
4. When you read your type, does it truly resonate with you?
I'm pretty sure that I'm a 9 rather than a 3. (But see handjamming above anyway.) Hear me out.
Threes and Nines can be mistaken for each other in that both are highly adaptable and both can be interested in gaining acceptance from others. Although it is not always obvious in the case of Threes, both can also have trouble recognizing who they are or what they really want. Threes can also resemble Nines when they move to Nine in their Direction of Disintegration, becoming more disengaged and unmotivated by their usual goals.
And essentially, I'm all over that central triangle:
It happens just enough that some participants have 3, 6 and 9 in their yes pile, and they wonder why, since there is no obvious connection between and among these types on the Enneagram symbol.
The most obvious way of understanding this confusion is that all three of these types (3, 6 and 9) are arrow lines of each other. For this reason, many people may get confused between an arrow line and their core type, just as they may be confused between a core type and a strong wing (one of the types on either side of the core type). Understanding how the arrows function helps, and it’s not just about where we go in stress and security or when we are relaxed. Many people – and this is a good thing – have access to both of their arrow lines, the two resource points that, along with the wings, add complexity and even flexibility to our core ego-type. But it is, I think, more than that.
Here’s the more. Helping so many people with type, I have experienced more people on the 3-6-9 triangle, the central triangle of the Enneagram, be more confused than those with other arrow lines.
I used to thrive on the workahol, but not hardly as much anymore. That's shift is what's thrown me off. I realize that even Threes would mellow over age, and it's just one piece of evidence.
But putting the whole trajectory together into a cohesive story, it so happens that I'm concerned less about
being awesome at everything and convincing myself of the same than I am about
being heard at all and
feeling at all important.
It's just that...
Your ultimate concern or fear is being dismissed, not worth keeping, or, experientially speaking, annihilated.[...]
You tend to focus on environmental claims and experience yourself as reacting primarily to others and events outside yourself. The fact that you have lost touch with your inner separate self in favor of adapting to the environment and merging with others becomes the central issue for your healing and development. You struggle fundamentally with gaining or reclaiming a separate self that feels loved equally to all others. Thus, your main task is awakening to yourself, literally to love yourself from a personal reference point for which there is no substitute and to establish your own priorities and timelines instead of falling into comfortable secondary pursuits and getting resistant to over-influence.
and
Nines as Children Often* feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
...achievements are definitely a way to (a) make yourself heard, loud and clear, from the mountain top; and (b) forge a path toward claiming an identity.
Those who know me would tell you that I'm pretty reserved in most circumstances. Those from here who've met me, especially the more extroverted ones (@EJCC [MENTION=1180]miss fortune[/MENTION]), would tell you the same.
As far as how long it took? Assuming I'm right, approx. 10 years. As far as certainty? I'm going to say 99.9%. If 3 is a 1/4" hole, 9 feels like a 17/32". I'm right until I'm wrong. At least, 9 is the most useful part of the lens.
5. The way I look at it, people are at a point on the circle. What if you are exactly in the middle between an 8 and a 9 or a 3 and a 4 (for example)? Do you think this is possible?
Possible if it's a useful construct. As a 3w4 I saw myself as leaning pretty closely toward center of 3/4 because I actually gave a damn about identity and am fairly introspective.
One being smack dab in the middle of, say, 3 and 4 means that they resonate with the union of all of the traits and inner workings of 3w4 and 4w3. If that construct (3 or 4? 3.5?) is more useful for self-exploration than whatever agonizing over whether you're a 3 or a 4 would get you, then you may as well roll with it.
