Generalist
New member
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
- Messages
- 212
- MBTI Type
- ISFP
- Enneagram
- 9
- Instinctual Variant
- sp
Hi, first of all, thanks to anyone who actually reads all of this and then actually responds, I really appreciate your time, effort and kindness. I am writing this post because I know the type descriptions can be nuanced and what not so here goes.
I have taken the full RHETI twice and gotten nearly the exact same results twice, types nine and four are tied and type two is just two or three points behind. I have taken the free RHETI and that has given similar results. Also another test using cards (enneagram.net), typed me as a nine, with type two close behind. On pstypes I have scored typically high in the nine and the four types. Most recently as a nine. I do see a good chunk of myself in each. Thank you again.
Type Two:
Similarities:
I identify with the helping aspect of this type. The being attracted to the wounded. I have had two major romantic relationships and these two women were/are very troubled, making lots of bad decisions, taking advantage of me and in the end, I really screwed myself financially and emotionally because I am filled with even more rage and resentment. Actually looking back on nearly all my relationships with friends and romantic relationships, I don't think any of them really liked me, for me, they liked the fact that I was so accommodating, that I always listened to them, helped them when they asked, they always got their way and I just went with the flow. I think for some I had become a sense of security and I have thought to myself, I seriously wonder if the friendships would even have lasted so long if I wasn't accommodating, agreeable and helpful and always willing to go with the flow. I am sure in those two romantic relationships if I hadn't been willing to take care of them like I did and not been so accommodating, they would have left a lot sooner. I wondered why I keep choosing women like this and maybe friends as well, my therapist told me she thinks I suffer from codependency, a need to be needed. Also this desire to help seems to be a dominating theme in my life, especially career choice, I always view options by how am I helping or doing this help someone. I don't necessarily always enjoy helping people but I feel like I have to do it, like it is my duty to do it. In the beginning of my career search I felt I should work in social services and I felt a lot of guilt choosing anything that wasn't social services because I felt I should be using my time and talents to help people. Even as the career search has spiraled into a search for myself, it still comes down, I want to find out who I really am, so I can best serve others and find my own joy as well. I also have felt a good jolt of anger when I am not appreciated at times and I wonder if all or a good portion of my anger comes from resentment because I have had relationships like this my whole life.
Differences:
I have never really been that meddlesome, I try at times to tell people what they should do, maybe try (not very well) to persuade them, but I wouldn't say I am manipulative. I also wonder how much I even cherished those relationships, some of them, maybe a lot of them I just didn't and I haven't necessarily had the best opinion of myself, though to be fair, I have thought of myself as a good person, maybe trying to cling onto that to make up for my lack of financial/professional success. I am also not really open with my emotions, or expressing my feelings about people to them. I do not want to be touched and I do not want others to touch me. I have used flattery and taking an interest in people to endear myself to them for various reasons, but that didn't start till my early 20s when I became more outgoing and confident when it came to people. I am naturally shy and reclusive at my core, but I have become way more outgoing.
Type Four:
Similarities:
I do feel fundamentally different then pretty much everyone else and not in the good way. I tend to think people are just better then me in a variety of aspects, such as social, general intelligence, efficiency, etc... In my immediate family, I have thought for years, there is them and there is me. In the past I have been guilty of focusing on negative emotions, usually with music, preferring to listen to dark, sad music, especially when I was feeling very lonely. I am socially awkward, despite becoming more outgoing and have found it hard to consistently hit it off with people. I have also thought of myself as an angry person for I think most of my life. It doesn't take much to set me off, I don't confront anyone with my anger if I am mad at them, but I bitch very passionately to other people about them. I don't even need something to happen to me to become angry. Someone can tell me how someone screwed them over and it doesn't effect me at all and I will get all fired up that someone would do that to someone else. there is a line in the avengers where bruce banner says, you want to know my secret, I am always angry and I thought, that describes me pretty well. I have a habit of stewing in my emotions, typically sadness and anger. I engage in emotional masochism by imagining people emotionally hurting me and then getting all worked up. I am sensitive and someone can make a comment and it can bother me for a couple days or if I get over it and bring it up, I can get all fired up again. In addition to music to cultivate my moods, I have looked at photos of relatives who have passed, I think I did that for a short time or I love rainy days, when the skies are grey and I love taking walks, seeing how dark things look and depressing. Also when editing photos, to add a level of emotional darkness to them that didn't exist before, I just naturally gravitate toward that. My style of humor, although I adjust it depending on who I am around has been described as cynical, sarcastic, dark and satirical. I have never thought of myself as an optimist, I am definitely pessimistic. My therapist told me recently that I am attracted to pain. Also in my last relationship, one complaint she had about me was that I wouldn't talk about what was bothering me and I would just stew in my frustration and negativity. I also have fantasies of succeeding and impressing others in whatever I am doing, like playing music or writing or one of my jobs, but I never actually put in the effort to live up to the fantasy or I fantasize about successes that I will never have in a particular area, just because I don't have the natural talents/personality for it. Like fantasizing about being a great bassist, but never working on it and to be honest never really having the talent to do it. I have a strong attraction to beauty and aesthetics. I have been on a search to figure out who I am and I have become a bit obsessed about it, but that didn't start till I was about 25. Also I have that weird arrogance, where a lot of the time I feel inferior, but at the same time I feel like I am special and I have one of a kind gifts or something like that.
Differences:
I have no external personal style. I don't dress in a way that makes me stand out as an individual. I have never felt the need to decorate in a way that expresses particular moods. I dress very blandly mainly as camouflage, so I can hide in plain sight and people will leave me alone. I would feel very uncomfortable doing something that makes me stand out. I won't even wear a plain red shirt. I feel like an emotional person, but I reign a lot of that in because I am naturally very conflict avoidant. I feel like at least a good portion of the people who have met me would say I am a calm and laid back person, I think I used to be to some degree. I don't know if anyone would call me moody, but I was told a while back that I don't have a poker face and all this time I thought I did. Also a decent portion of the time, emotionally, I kind of feel like I am running in neutral. But I can quickly go from neutral to angry. I also have a tendency to push certain emotional reactions down, specifically and most recently around death, several of the elderly disabled folks I have taken care of have died and I have pushed down my emotional reactions to their deaths. I actually found one woman, in her bed in the morning, dead and although she was in hospice and I expected her to pass very quickly, I didn't initially feel any strong negative emotions and when they did come up, I pushed them down, I suppose I have done that in other cases too. I also feel for most of my life I have lacked empathy, I have felt cold towards other people, what I mean by this is, something bad will happen to someone else, like someone told me their 13 year old cousin died in a boating accident, I will tell them I am sorry and try to show concern but inside, I feel nothing, that has been changing where I have been becoming more empathetic towards people.
Type Nine
Similarities:
I am very accommodating, very conflict avoidant for most of my life. Some of this has been covered further up the page. I have really struggled with standing up for myself. Looking back on my life up until about my early to mid 20s I described my life as a leaf on the wind just being blown wherever and looking back I also feel like I was going about life in a haze and in the last ten years while I have been working on myself I feel like I have been asleep and at times I kind of feel like I still fall partially into that haze. I was a space cadet often when I was out with friends, forgetful, bad with details, I would just space out. Also have my emotional times as well as previously described. I have a habit of falling into routines, they aren't productive routines, but just very leisurely ways of going about things if I can and the routines are leisurely, I actually feel that these routines have some type of numbing comfort. I had this strange habit, where something big would happen that I should be upset about, but it doesn't seem to bother me at all and then something small happens, like I drop a spoon and I become furious. I wonder if a lot of stuff that bothers me has just been stuffed down. I tend to be attracted to more aggressive people then me and have been taken advantage of. I am accepting of people I guess, even though I am judging them in my mind and I think the way I respond to people, they think I agree with them, when I really don't. I think lots of people think I agree with them, I don't or only part of what they are saying. I do love nature and how everything perfectly harmonizes and quiet activities.
Differences:
I am not an optimist. I think that pain grows us, that death grows, that to drink from pain and grief is where we can find fertile soil to take us to places we haven't been before. I have become very skeptical of people and the world, I don't see it with rose colored glasses on. I have read and heard some nines didn't even realize that they are angry, how can you not tell you are angry!!!!! I am not well liked by a variety of people. If anything I have become even more anxiety ridden about things and freaked out and much more fearful. see above for other differences.
I have taken the full RHETI twice and gotten nearly the exact same results twice, types nine and four are tied and type two is just two or three points behind. I have taken the free RHETI and that has given similar results. Also another test using cards (enneagram.net), typed me as a nine, with type two close behind. On pstypes I have scored typically high in the nine and the four types. Most recently as a nine. I do see a good chunk of myself in each. Thank you again.
Type Two:
Similarities:
I identify with the helping aspect of this type. The being attracted to the wounded. I have had two major romantic relationships and these two women were/are very troubled, making lots of bad decisions, taking advantage of me and in the end, I really screwed myself financially and emotionally because I am filled with even more rage and resentment. Actually looking back on nearly all my relationships with friends and romantic relationships, I don't think any of them really liked me, for me, they liked the fact that I was so accommodating, that I always listened to them, helped them when they asked, they always got their way and I just went with the flow. I think for some I had become a sense of security and I have thought to myself, I seriously wonder if the friendships would even have lasted so long if I wasn't accommodating, agreeable and helpful and always willing to go with the flow. I am sure in those two romantic relationships if I hadn't been willing to take care of them like I did and not been so accommodating, they would have left a lot sooner. I wondered why I keep choosing women like this and maybe friends as well, my therapist told me she thinks I suffer from codependency, a need to be needed. Also this desire to help seems to be a dominating theme in my life, especially career choice, I always view options by how am I helping or doing this help someone. I don't necessarily always enjoy helping people but I feel like I have to do it, like it is my duty to do it. In the beginning of my career search I felt I should work in social services and I felt a lot of guilt choosing anything that wasn't social services because I felt I should be using my time and talents to help people. Even as the career search has spiraled into a search for myself, it still comes down, I want to find out who I really am, so I can best serve others and find my own joy as well. I also have felt a good jolt of anger when I am not appreciated at times and I wonder if all or a good portion of my anger comes from resentment because I have had relationships like this my whole life.
Differences:
I have never really been that meddlesome, I try at times to tell people what they should do, maybe try (not very well) to persuade them, but I wouldn't say I am manipulative. I also wonder how much I even cherished those relationships, some of them, maybe a lot of them I just didn't and I haven't necessarily had the best opinion of myself, though to be fair, I have thought of myself as a good person, maybe trying to cling onto that to make up for my lack of financial/professional success. I am also not really open with my emotions, or expressing my feelings about people to them. I do not want to be touched and I do not want others to touch me. I have used flattery and taking an interest in people to endear myself to them for various reasons, but that didn't start till my early 20s when I became more outgoing and confident when it came to people. I am naturally shy and reclusive at my core, but I have become way more outgoing.
Type Four:
Similarities:
I do feel fundamentally different then pretty much everyone else and not in the good way. I tend to think people are just better then me in a variety of aspects, such as social, general intelligence, efficiency, etc... In my immediate family, I have thought for years, there is them and there is me. In the past I have been guilty of focusing on negative emotions, usually with music, preferring to listen to dark, sad music, especially when I was feeling very lonely. I am socially awkward, despite becoming more outgoing and have found it hard to consistently hit it off with people. I have also thought of myself as an angry person for I think most of my life. It doesn't take much to set me off, I don't confront anyone with my anger if I am mad at them, but I bitch very passionately to other people about them. I don't even need something to happen to me to become angry. Someone can tell me how someone screwed them over and it doesn't effect me at all and I will get all fired up that someone would do that to someone else. there is a line in the avengers where bruce banner says, you want to know my secret, I am always angry and I thought, that describes me pretty well. I have a habit of stewing in my emotions, typically sadness and anger. I engage in emotional masochism by imagining people emotionally hurting me and then getting all worked up. I am sensitive and someone can make a comment and it can bother me for a couple days or if I get over it and bring it up, I can get all fired up again. In addition to music to cultivate my moods, I have looked at photos of relatives who have passed, I think I did that for a short time or I love rainy days, when the skies are grey and I love taking walks, seeing how dark things look and depressing. Also when editing photos, to add a level of emotional darkness to them that didn't exist before, I just naturally gravitate toward that. My style of humor, although I adjust it depending on who I am around has been described as cynical, sarcastic, dark and satirical. I have never thought of myself as an optimist, I am definitely pessimistic. My therapist told me recently that I am attracted to pain. Also in my last relationship, one complaint she had about me was that I wouldn't talk about what was bothering me and I would just stew in my frustration and negativity. I also have fantasies of succeeding and impressing others in whatever I am doing, like playing music or writing or one of my jobs, but I never actually put in the effort to live up to the fantasy or I fantasize about successes that I will never have in a particular area, just because I don't have the natural talents/personality for it. Like fantasizing about being a great bassist, but never working on it and to be honest never really having the talent to do it. I have a strong attraction to beauty and aesthetics. I have been on a search to figure out who I am and I have become a bit obsessed about it, but that didn't start till I was about 25. Also I have that weird arrogance, where a lot of the time I feel inferior, but at the same time I feel like I am special and I have one of a kind gifts or something like that.
Differences:
I have no external personal style. I don't dress in a way that makes me stand out as an individual. I have never felt the need to decorate in a way that expresses particular moods. I dress very blandly mainly as camouflage, so I can hide in plain sight and people will leave me alone. I would feel very uncomfortable doing something that makes me stand out. I won't even wear a plain red shirt. I feel like an emotional person, but I reign a lot of that in because I am naturally very conflict avoidant. I feel like at least a good portion of the people who have met me would say I am a calm and laid back person, I think I used to be to some degree. I don't know if anyone would call me moody, but I was told a while back that I don't have a poker face and all this time I thought I did. Also a decent portion of the time, emotionally, I kind of feel like I am running in neutral. But I can quickly go from neutral to angry. I also have a tendency to push certain emotional reactions down, specifically and most recently around death, several of the elderly disabled folks I have taken care of have died and I have pushed down my emotional reactions to their deaths. I actually found one woman, in her bed in the morning, dead and although she was in hospice and I expected her to pass very quickly, I didn't initially feel any strong negative emotions and when they did come up, I pushed them down, I suppose I have done that in other cases too. I also feel for most of my life I have lacked empathy, I have felt cold towards other people, what I mean by this is, something bad will happen to someone else, like someone told me their 13 year old cousin died in a boating accident, I will tell them I am sorry and try to show concern but inside, I feel nothing, that has been changing where I have been becoming more empathetic towards people.
Type Nine
Similarities:
I am very accommodating, very conflict avoidant for most of my life. Some of this has been covered further up the page. I have really struggled with standing up for myself. Looking back on my life up until about my early to mid 20s I described my life as a leaf on the wind just being blown wherever and looking back I also feel like I was going about life in a haze and in the last ten years while I have been working on myself I feel like I have been asleep and at times I kind of feel like I still fall partially into that haze. I was a space cadet often when I was out with friends, forgetful, bad with details, I would just space out. Also have my emotional times as well as previously described. I have a habit of falling into routines, they aren't productive routines, but just very leisurely ways of going about things if I can and the routines are leisurely, I actually feel that these routines have some type of numbing comfort. I had this strange habit, where something big would happen that I should be upset about, but it doesn't seem to bother me at all and then something small happens, like I drop a spoon and I become furious. I wonder if a lot of stuff that bothers me has just been stuffed down. I tend to be attracted to more aggressive people then me and have been taken advantage of. I am accepting of people I guess, even though I am judging them in my mind and I think the way I respond to people, they think I agree with them, when I really don't. I think lots of people think I agree with them, I don't or only part of what they are saying. I do love nature and how everything perfectly harmonizes and quiet activities.
Differences:
I am not an optimist. I think that pain grows us, that death grows, that to drink from pain and grief is where we can find fertile soil to take us to places we haven't been before. I have become very skeptical of people and the world, I don't see it with rose colored glasses on. I have read and heard some nines didn't even realize that they are angry, how can you not tell you are angry!!!!! I am not well liked by a variety of people. If anything I have become even more anxiety ridden about things and freaked out and much more fearful. see above for other differences.
